Keeps Saying He's "heavy"

[Wigin]

I'm getting frustrated that every time I have a boundary that interferes with what my SO wants from me he starts to get down on himself and say he knows he's heavy (like a burden I have to bear).
He hasn't been in therapy. We have problems with me burning out as a supporter. Setting the boundaries is necessary for us to function.
I'm so sick of the guilt that comes with his reaction.
I want to be able to give him everything. I want to be everything he needs. But I'm just a person.

 

[Ehibe]

You can't give everything to him, and be everything he needs.... not because you're just a person, but because you are a person. Both you & he can't expect you to be his SO, his therapist, his shoulder to cry on, his welcome mat, his sounding board, his boundary setter, his whatever-he-happens-to-need-at-this-exact-moment. Expecting to be his everything isn't realistic or healthy. If he's a sufferer, he needs to be getting some kind of professional help, whatever form that takes. Supporters can seek professional help too, as can couples, and if a supporter is burning out one or both of those might be a realistic option.

You need to look after you, too. :hug: