General Kick In The Gut

[Redheaded Stranger]

Okay, I knew it was going to happen. He's in a horrible place mentally right now and he told me that he was going to move his things out. But he said he'd call first. Ironically, I'd had a pretty good day. The veil of grief seemed to have lifted somewhat...at least until I got home. Came in the back and put dinner on the stove and then walked into the living room. And it was gone. Most of his things are gone. I guess he'll be back tomorrow for the rest but he said he'd call first and I had a few things I was hoping to say to try to get him to stay. But it is gone and I can't quit shaking. It is a deep shake coming from somewhere inside of me and I can't stop it. I'm not cold but I'm shaking. I'm not crying but it now seems so real. I don't want him to go but I can't "reach" him. There is this wall up between him and everything else and .....I think I'm going to be sick.

 

[wife of]

I believe that would be called Grief hunny,sorry you are having an awful night,dinner hot shower and early night,look after you darling...

 

[Steph_F]

Awww sweetheart...I'm so so sorry you are hurting. :( I never know the right thing to say cuz there really isn't anything "to say". Love sucks sometimes! Please follow Sue's advice and treat yourself the way you would treat a best friend if she was hurting like you are right now. This pain will not go on forever but augh! it is horrible!
It might help you to write down some of those things you wanted to say to him when he comes to get the rest of his things. Fold it up and stuck in something of his so you know it goes with him, then tell him to read it when he can absorb it. Let him know EVERYTHING, it might not change his mind or his heart, but at least you can have closure. Again I wish I there with ya to hug ya, or to take you out tonight or just sit and watch a movie or talk or something. I'm here if you want a friend.

 

[Mockingbird13]

Red - Im sorry to hear this, and I do understand where you are at - when mine left which was a year ago I was devastated- My heart broke and I was in such physical pain - I would cry gut wrenching tears - non stop - nothing made sense- I truly didnt want to live because I was in so much pain. Thankfully - I did take a step back looked myself in the mirror and asked myself what did I want - and what do I need to do to get there.

This past year I tried everything I could to reach him, but the wall he built around himself will not allow myself or our children in.

Steph- I did try to tell him how I felt via letters/ email / verbaly (every way I could) -but he cant hear me, and now he cannot see me... not literaly - he just cannot handle my feelings at all.

Through this I have learned patience, and understanding. But let me tell you Red - you will get through this. I do not like how this ended, but I have accepted this is it. The days do get better. I still have moments where something will remind me and just set me off into tears - but you need to focus on you right now.

Hang in there.... we are here for you - and remember, you are not alone.