Sexual Assault Law Of Attraction And Child Abuse

[Red Feather]

There are just so many ways to describe the same thing. Thoughts are for me like praying, or mantra's, or singing a song. They are all the same in my mind. The law of atraction is based on thoughts. But behind thoughts are emotions. Emotions can not be changed by just reprogramming them. Neither can trauma. Isn't that scientific fact? Trauma causes our brain to be rewired. So that is the first flaw in my mind. Happy thoughts do not make happy emotions, espcially when it comes to trauma.

Yes I agree, the right thought, a good one, can be very powerful. A good thought could cure an illness, no doubt. And so the same do bad thoughts. One bad thought can damage a child so much, he or she can carry the thought with him for life. But trauma can not only be healed by changing thoughts. Changing thoughts can help A LOT. But there is much more work to be done. And sometimes the LOA teachings forget about that work, and in my opinion it can cause a much bigger gap and can do more harm then intended. On my other post, I also write I am not totally against LOA, I just think it is good to be cautious.

 

[Mr Understanding]

Hi I've read some of these posts and I understand that what answer you really want is someone to tell you why the bad thing happened to you, a justification that makes sense and I'm here to offer understanding and a different point of view , a new perspective to guide you to finding a better answer, I hope the following helps.

In everyone's life we end up blaming others and when it comes to us we make excuses that its acceptable why we did something. Men may say they cheated on there partner because they were drunk (excuse) and the women may eventually side with her man and blame the other women for taking advantage while he was drunk , Truth is the man knew he could get away with it. The couple most likely did not have a good relationship or the guy would not look elsewhere.

The idea of Karma is far to complex to say everything you get done to you is because you were bad/evil in a past life, perhaps this could be someones excuse to say I killed in my previous life so this is why I have be abused , I apologize but this is just a diversion for your self to avoid a different issue.

I have been bullied from an early age and I make the excuse this is why it OK for me to be nasty to others, it was my story to avoid that I was actually too lazy to improve myself and fix other issues I have. Don't get me wrong I know its not quite the same thing that you will have experienced but the idea of avoidance is what I see in your posts.

When we hear something we don't like or perhaps feeling our views are being pushed we may at times lash out and say the other person is wrong and divert the attention to a unrelated issue, I read above some guys sister died of cancer and the guy became inspiring because of it.. the next post I read was attack "Did your boyfriends sister do something bad in her life or a previous life to get cancer? When she was fighting the cancer, was she actually putting out negative vibes?" If your going to be negative about everything then why bother be here, how can others offer supporting storys that actually are inspiring and all your doing it pushing people away. By putting that above comment your putting out bad vibes.

Moving on to the power of attraction, yes we can attract others towards us but you need to want something to attract it, a child does not think " I think my uncle looks hot I hope he will be my boyfriend" which is just plain stupid to consider that because of the law of attraction the child will be abused, I'm sorry but that would not happen , The law of attraction has nothing to do with abuse. Chances are that the person who committed abuse have serious issues and needed someone who they could control in order to take satisfaction and keep it quiet.

I think everyone has an issue or two but at the end of the day the abuser's are weak and they only way they feel strong is to make others weak which is why we need to focus on how we can avoid allowing someone to control us , children don't have this luxury as they are still learning to grow but all the more reason to focus on us and instead of saying "I'm a mess , I cant do anything right, I don't deserve to be loved, I am worthless" what you need to do is take control and say because this happened to me I will help others more, I will be stronger, I will be somebody people will want to care for and respect.

I'm sorry if you don't agree but I'm here to offer a new perspective and hope to change and negative past to a positive future, I really hope this helps.

<Edited- corrected capitalisation, spelling, and coloured font.>

 

[Girl Power]

As you can see, it is not the cruel, heartless view most of us have grown up to think of it as (i.e. I hit you so someone will hit me back someday). No, karma just is. And being a survivor of SA, I try to do like the parable states and work with what I have, live in the present, and learn from what life has dealt me. No one ever said that life would be fair. It's not and won't ever be for anyone. But we can't compare our lives to others'. We can only do the best with what we have been through and not dwell on our own suffering. It's hard to do, of course, but that's the goal. Once we realize this goal, we are free from all suffering

What I was trying to say in my previous post is that it is unknown why bad things happen to good and innocent people and I struggled with this a lot as a child. The Law of Karma is such a complex religious philosophy and I am in no way an expert. However, I really like Tarot's explanation and example and would be really interested to learn more about it. I am from a Hindu background, which also teaches about Karma but being born in the west I may take on a more western view of it. But at the end of the day my Dad has committed a crime and in the grand scheme of things he will eventually get punished for it. As someone that has been abused by him, I'm not trying to get out of it and say I'm not going to be the one to punish him - it's something I struggle with everyday and a complicated family situation. But I do believe people have to take responsibility for their actions and my Dad will have to take that responsibility for his terrible actions, and that's where my religious beliefs come into play and I take comfort from.

It is interesting what you say about suffering Tarot. I've been taught as well that everyone in the world has to deal with suffering but our goal is to stop fixating on that suffering. I'm in no way saying that it is easy. As Nadia says:

Happy thoughts do not make happy emotions, especially when it comes to trauma

I totally agree with this. Its not easy to get over a trauma such as sexual abuse or rape but that's why its so important to get professional help to work through these emotions and thank god I have started to do this. I still have a long way to go to get over my suffering and be in a happier place. But the first stage of the healing has started and it is important I do not fixate on these terrible things and focus on more positive things in my life and I will attract more positive things into my life. This was all I was trying to say.

 

[cherryblossom]

I read above some guys sister died of cancer and the guy became inspiring because of it.. the next post I read was attack "Did your boyfriends sister do something bad in her life or a previous life to get cancer? When she was fighting the cancer, was she actually putting out negative vibes?"

My response wasn't attacking, it was a response based on discussing the 'law of attraction', which is the whole point of this thread.

If your going to be negative about everything then why bother be here, how can others offer supporting storys that actually are inspiring and all your doing it pushing people away. By putting that above comment your putting out bad vibes.

I'm not negative about everything and I bother to be here because I run this forum, and have dedicated thousands of hours of my time to help other people here. This is a discussion about the law of attraction. I stated right at the start of my post. . .

I don't really get how Karma or the law of attraction explains how bad things happen to seemingly good people?

So I used an example from a previous post, and examples from my own life to raise my question. I wasn't questioning someone's inspiring story or being negative about it, I was using it as an example to discuss the topic raised in this thread.

I'm actually not looking for some explanation as to why bad things happen to good people - I believe that they just do. Just being in the wrong place at the wrong time. I was asking how the law of attraction or karma explains why bad things happen to good people. I was asking how people who believe in the law of attraction, or karma explain the bad things that happen?

all the more reason to focus on us and instead of saying "I'm a mess , I cant do anything right, I don't deserve to be loved, I am worthless" what you need to do is take control and say because this happened to me I will help others more, I will be stronger, I will be somebody people will want to care for and respect.

I agree.

 

[Tarot]

Great post, Mr. Understanding. I think you said a lot of things that many people are afraid to say here.

And, cherryblossom, I will have to ask you back, now, since you asked me: what is your view on the definition of karma I have?

 

[cherryblossom]

Tarot, my only information is based on what you have said -

I feel that the things that happen to us in this life-- good or bad-- are there to help teach us lessons so that we may grow.

I feel this life and the things happening to us happen because I'm meant to learn and grow spiritually.

and work with what I have, live in the present, and learn from what life has dealt me.

I can totally understand how these beliefs help an individual to have a positive mind set for the future, for their healing and for their growth. I'm not knocking it, but I don't understand how Karma, (or the law of attraction) influences the past.

I'm not trying to be argumentative, I'm trying to understand. If thoughts and actions influence our future then surely past thoughts and actions influenced our past?

If we go back to the original question

I find the law of attraction very interesting... BUT the experts in it say that whatever has happened in your life - good and bad - you have attracted it to yourself.

So I don't get it...

...are these experts saying that it's a child's own fault if they get abused by anyone? Or that it is a persons own fault if they got murdered or mugged? I don't understand. How on earth could we have attracted these things ourselves? We are not responsible for other people's actions. Why would anyone want to will these things into their lives?

Is there something I'm missing here? Is this what the law of attraction is really about?

I'm with miss_isolated - I really don't 'get' it.

I don't understand how the whole kind of 'cause and effect' theory can only be applied to the future, and not the past. This is my whole problem with not understanding karma or the law of attraction. I admit, and I admitted it from the off, that I don't know much about it, but what I have read here, and elsewhere on-line, still doesn't answer my questions or miss_isolated questions.

I'd like to use these ideas of attraction to improve life area's but... I just can't for the life inside of me understand how the bloody hell starving children and murdered people and every kind of human suffering imaginable was caused and attracted by the victims.

Maybe I am just totally 100% missing the mark here when it comes to the message of the law of attraction?? maybe there's some kind of middle ground?? I'm confused!

Sorry this is such a heavy or offensive thread and thanks for the replies.

I personally don't think it's an offensive thread. If people are seeing me as argumentative, or negative, I re-iterate that is not the case. This is an interesting discussion, which I want to hear more about. However no-one seems able or willing to answer the initial question that was raised. How does the law of attraction (or karma) explain the things that have happened in our past?

 

[Tarot]

Tarot, my only information is based on what you have said -




I can totally understand how these beliefs help an individual to have a positive mind set for the future, for their healing and for their growth. I'm not knocking it, but I don't understand how Karma, (or the law of attraction) influences the past.

I'm not trying to be argumentative, I'm trying to understand. If thoughts and actions influence our future then surely past thoughts and actions influenced our past?

But, cherryblossom, I posted a second time with the definition of what real karma is. You are still insisting that I believe something totally different, ie the western take on a balance and checks system/past life wrong doings. I feel as if you are ignoring my post and trying to stand by your initial reaction which, I'm sorry to say, was very negative and extremely offensive.

 

[cherryblossom]

I'm completely at a loss as to why my response is offensive. My responses certainly aren't aimed at being offensive, so please feel free to tell me why my responses are offensive. I think I have been quite clear all along that everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and that I know very little about the subject. I am merely trying to explore miss_isolated's original question.

...are these experts saying that it's a child's own fault if they get abused by anyone? Or that it is a persons own fault if they got murdered or mugged? I don't understand. How on earth could we have attracted these things ourselves? We are not responsible for other people's actions. Why would anyone want to will these things into their lives?

Is there something I'm missing here? Is this what the law of attraction is really about?

And this is the question I keep coming back to. (Yet no-one has even attempted to answer so far).

I posted a second time with the definition of what real karma is. You are still insisting that I believe something totally different, ie the western take on a balance and checks system/past life wrong doings. I feel as if you are ignoring my post

I'm certainly not ignoring your second post, Taro. Nor am I insisting what you believe. I merely quoted you, in response to your question. However the majority of that 2nd post is quoting someone else's beliefs, which is fine, I'm not knocking it. The phrase karma 'just is' means nothing to me, I'm just trying to explore how the law of attraction explains why I was raped (or why a child was abused, or why an innocent man was shot). I still don't understand exactly why I needed to be raped at knife point and taught a lesson.

I'm not disputing the fact that we have to learn to to live with the past, be positive for our future, not dwell on the past, not compare our suffering to others, etc, etc.

All I'm trying to do here is to understand how the law of attraction can explain why these bad things happen in the first place.

I am seriously not trying to undermine anyone's belief in anything. I'm just trying to explore the the initial question raised.

Please feel free to start a new thread about the positive benefits of karma, or the law of attraction, or any other subject. I am not trying to detract from any positive beliefs here. I'm just focused on the initial question raised.

Perhaps you can answer the two questions I have.

How does the law of attraction (or karma) explain the things that have happened in our past?
If current thoughts and actions influence our future then have past thoughts and actions influenced our past?

I'm still thinking that the 'law of attraction' is really just based on the future, and how our thinking can positively influence our future. However, I believe, whether we think positively or negatively, sometimes bad things will happen to good people. Whether that be a child dying of some disease or starvation, an adult getting cancer, or a person being sexually abused. No-one sends out vibes asking for those things to happen, or wants bad things in their life so they can grow spiritually from it. That is why I'm struggling to understand the law of attraction - because it doesn't explain the past.

Shit things just sometimes happen. They can't be explained by the law of attraction, or karma, or anything else. It's just life. Just my opinion.

 

[Girl Power]

Cherryblossom I found your post quite upsetting when you quoted about my boyfriends sister I'd talked about in my post, which was part of a positive message about the law of attraction.

Yes the initial question was asking how does the law of attraction explain abuse. It doesn't. I really don't believe the "experts" say

whatever has happened in your life - good and bad - you have attracted it to yourself

. People may be misinterpreting this.
As Mr. Understanding says you have to want to attract these things. A child is innocent and doesn't attract sexual abuse and as Broken2 said people may be over thinking the law of attraction in terms of "cause/thoughts and effect"

Tarot has given a very good explanation of Karma (something I find inspiring) and there is nothing wrong with quoting an expert in the area. As he said Karma is not a system of checks and balances as you keep referring to in your posts. Tarots post does say:

Half of karma is the ingredients we have got to work with. The other half, the most crucial part, is what we make of them in this life

I think this is the message that needs to be taken away from this thread as it it is very valid whether you believe in karma or not.

 

[Tarot]

Cherryblossom I found your post quite upsetting when you quoted about my boyfriends sister I'd talked about in my post, which was part of a positive message about the law of attraction.

CherryBlossom: That's what I was referring to when I said "offensive." Not for what I wrote about, but what you said about other things that involved other people on the forum.

 

[cherryblossom]

Girl Power if I upset you, then I apologise, never my intention.

Yes the initial question was asking how does the law of attraction explain abuse. It doesn't.

So is the law of attraction is really only about influencing the future and doesn't explain the past at all?

 

[miss_isolated]

Yes the initial question was asking how does the law of attraction explain abuse. It doesn't. I really don't believe the "experts" say whatever has happened in your life - good and bad - you have attracted it to yourself. People may be misinterpreting this.
As Mr. Understanding says you have to want to attract these things. A child is innocent and doesn't attract sexual abuse and as Broken2 said people may be over thinking the law of attraction in terms of "cause/thoughts and effect"

The very first poster said I might be over thinking it all.

I felt I needed to start this thread because I have watched and read The Secret by Rhonda Byrne, which entirely has so-called experts on the law of attraction that are basically trying to help people put the ideas into practice. I thought it was amazing. But, one persons comment on it bothered me - there was a man that said: "whatever your complaining about in your life you have attracted it. Whether it's the debt, the bad client, or the car crash. I know this is something that at first you hate to hear. But once you accept it it's life transforming!"

When he said all that, I thought to myself: "did I attract that abusive situation as a child?" I can understand about the debt (my fault 100% that I'm in debt) the client - what if he was a psycho killer - and about the car crash I thought: "wait a minute, people die and suffer serious injuries in car crashes, who on earth would attract that to them..?"

I really like this particular saying: We can't choose or control what happens to us in life, but we can choose how to respond to it.

Seriously, maybe I AM over thinking the law of attraction just like the first poster suggested.