Learned response at night?

[T2L]

I've been thinking about this lately in an attempt to change negative coping skills and anxiety.

Every night for years I'd put my mom to bed, listen for her to get more alcohol, fall, fight, etc. I "learned" to either do my own negative coping behaviors at night while she drank (I understand the similarities now), or I laid awake hypervigilant, anxious, jumpy, etc. withw every sound. ItIt h been years since I've had to do that, yet every single night I still respond that way. It seems like a reaction I can't control, no matter how much I tell myself it's just anxiety, I'm safe, etc. Perhaps some has become habitual, but I'm still unsure how to stop it. I live alone which helps the jumpy factor, but I discovered last year that I am still jumpy if others are around, doors slam, etc and I'm right back in my childhood bed listening for her. Maybe I haven't really worked through things? I'm not quite sure what I'm asking, but I'm just frustrated and unsure how to stop this automatic response. I have to take anxiety meds or sleep meds to actually get to sleep. Does anyone relate or have any suggestions? I'm in therapy so we're working on tackling my childhood experiences so maybe in time the automatic response will fade?

 

[Still Standing]

I think being hyper vigilant at night is very common for kids with a history of trauma and abuse, as they were growing up. It is a learned response in self preservation. I grew up being a very light sleeper. I have been the one to wake to hearing someone trying to come through a window, hearing footsteps outside the house, hearing family members up in the middle of the night...any sort of noise that does not 'belong'. It is like only half of the brain sleeps while the other keeps watch. The only time I sleep really well is when I know I am in an environment where I am safe. So, my sleep pattern is sleep, wake up, sleep, wake up, sleep, wake up over and over again all night long. Then on the 3rd or 4rth night my exhausted body will crash hard for 3-5 hours and sleep well. This is how I cope with hyper vigilance at night.

 

[Freida]

I'm in therapy so we're working on tackling my childhood experiences so maybe in time the automatic response will fade?

I don't know if it will completely leave but you will start to look at it differently so it wont affect you as much. It just takes a while (seemingly forever) to get there. But it does happen....

 

[Angelwings]

I, too, am hyper-vigilant at night. I lay awake and listen to hear if someone is coming down the hall. This will often kick of flashbacks, which doesn't help it improve at all. I also sleep lightly because my mommy senses are always on at night because I sleep in the same room as my son. I'm so protective of him that I don't want to go to sleep until I know that we are safe. I stay up all night quite often, making daytime almost impossible for me. A night without sleep will make the next day hell. At least I can take my son to school and go do whatever I have to do to stay alive for the day while he is away from me and won't see me freaking out all day. It's a vicious circle. Since getting on Seroquel I have been sleeping better at times, and I hope it continues to help, but it doesn't take away the problem completely. I have a childhood full of programming to overcome, and it's going to take some time...probably for you as well. Hang in there. We can do this!