Relationship Learning To Be A "Supporter"

[Jade-]

My husband was diagnosed with PTSD a couple of years ago.It has turned our lives completely upside down and has torn us apart really.

I also have PTSD,diagnosed like 9 or 10 years ago.Its extremely rough with both of us having it.

His is so completely different than mine,our symptoms and triggers are not the same at all.

I'm hoping that maybe by reading and posting here in the supporters area I can actually learn to be a "supporter".Maybe somehow we can turn things around and save our marriage.

Right now all we seem to do is argue and it has to change.

So I'm not really sure where to even begin.

 

[Woundedhealer]

I’m sorry you’re having a difficult time! I too am just learning how to navigate my life around PTSD as a supporter. You’ve definitely come to the right place! I just read and read and it helps me to gain insight!
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[Songbirdhero]

I'm also so sorry you're dealing with this and also new here, experiencing it myself as a supporter for the first time. This forum has definitely been helpful to me.
I'd say what I've learned so far is when your husband tries to or isolates, it's best to give him time to process. I was a crazy person texting, calling, trying frantically to get in touch and now realize after reading up on PTSD, that is the worst thing I could have done. I've apologized profusely and hope he'll talk to me again but I won't know until he reaches out. It's such a hard thing.
Maybe you have some insight into being on both sides? I'm sorry you are both going through this but I'm glad you are reaching out and still trying. I also refuse to give up and am trying to be patient but it's definitely not easy. Trying to give a special person their space durjng this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do in a long time

 

[Jade-]

Thank you both.

One would assume that since I have PTSD myself I would be able to understand my husband and know how to deal with things but unfortunately that's not the case.Theres not much that's even similar to what I experience.

The hardest thing is for me is to not take it personally when he shuts down completely and is not talking at all,not even looking at me when I talk to him or even acknowledging that I exist at all.Its very triggering for me and I take it as rejection. I try so hard not to though.

My PTSD is from childhood his is not.So it's almost like our disorders are totally different entities.