so it seems we have no control over what happens in our brain ,,,,
I supose if I were in a perfect wildlife inviorment with food and shelter I may be one happy SOB exspeically if I had a woman that liked the same kind of thing ,,,,,
I just heard the song ,, on a comidy show no less and it had the same effect on me as it always dose ,, nomatter were or when I hear it ,,, it tears me up or it makes me cry ,, or it make me wish i had what it talks about ,,, the song amazing grace ,, my head has bin all over the place lately ,, I am so lucky I have developed some coping skills over the last 3o+ years and even more glad booze is no longer one of them ,, reachiing out to others is a mayjor part ,, trying to let others know exactly what is going thru my head is another ,,altho you do tend to lose some friends in the prosess ,, the way I look at that is , thay weren't really friends to begin with ,,, to open up in a room full of people and showing them just how fu--ed up you really are takes a lot as courge or dessperation to find help
what you say about the brain is interesting but I still have no control I had to alow the change to happen in its own time and with many peoples help ,,, some times all they could do was sit and let me blow or brake then be there and say are you OK now or hold me , or just cotinue to sit with till I said somthin ,,
to tell the truth ,, I am a very simple man must of my dreams have bin smashed but a few have happened ,, the most gratifying is my Daughter and the way she has turned out
some people I respect have told me I am wise beyond my years , I say thank you ,,,, but I think I see things way to clearly for what they are ,,
I have bin called alltrueistic ,, that I have tanasitty ,, that I'm a good man I say thank you ,, but in my head I look at what goes thru my brain and I don't alway agree ,,
were dose that leave me ,,, very cofussed , and crying for help
please do not take this a critisisum ,, and please excuze my spelling ,,,
we all need love and understanding , compashtuon and friendship ,,,
I pray we all find our way Bealte bailey