Left Therapy Scared

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

@HollyBeans27 - My therapist did sense something was off but since I told her I was okay, she let me go. However, she did follow me to my car where she found the other part waiting because she can't drive. I switched to another part and then came back and by that point it was time to leave- it had been over 2 hours (we had already ended a little late). And I felt stupid (right or wrong to feel that way, doesn't matter, it's how I felt) and didn't want to say what was wrong. I just let her think that it was stuff from earlier in the session that was bothering me.

@The Albatross - I get what you're saying, that I have a responsibility to talk to my therapist, but talking isn't easy for me. Talking is not "safe" in my world and so I am working on it, but it is still hard.

 

[The Albatross]

Go at your own pace with an eye on October.

 

[ButterflyBean]

@The Albatross - please don't think that I was trying to put any responsibility onto anyone particular. The therapeutic relationship is a two-way street, and I was simply acknowledging the fact that the end of the session was difficult, and I was trying to help her figure out why it was that way. In my opinion, @JEKBreatheandBelieve , or at least one of her parts, did take responsibility by emailing her therapist. As she said above, they will likely be discussing the email in Monday's session.

I do not want this thread to cause any more stress by debating/defending my comment, so I will leave it at that. I just wanted to be clear that I was only trying to offer my support! And I am quite sure that JEK knows my offer for a private message always stands! :)

 

[The Albatross]

No comment.

 

[Leigh925]

I just went through this. For me it was "July". My trauma anniversary month and my therapist leaving for two weeks. I stressed about "July " for a couple of months. I was so grateful when I finally couldn't hold it in anymore and sobbed telling my therapist I would miss him and I was afraid of doing July alone.

I was embarrassed about the feelings about missing him and missing therapy so much so that I would never use the words. I just always said I am worried about July. It was embarrassing but healing. I haven't allowed myself to need anyone. We came up with a plan and he called me several times while he was gone as well as stayed in touch by email. I did okay....now we are doing it again in September....I cried when he told me.....kind of bummed but I got through July so I will get through September. I appreciated your post. It made me feel less like a freak!

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

I appreciated your post. It made me feel less like a freak!

And yours makes me feel like less of a freak, too. Thanks for sharing your experience. You made it through July so you're right you can make it through September and I can make it through October. It might be harder, but it can be done.

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

My therapist brought up my part e-mailing her and I ignored her at first. Later, when I was more ready, I brought it up. We acknowledged that it was understandable that I would feel scared. She acknowledged that if she had thought more, she would not have said that at the end of a session because she should have remembered October was hard for me. I don't blame her, but it was nice that we were able to talk about it. I am still scared, but at least she knows now.