Sufferer Legend Has Ptsd

[Legend]

It is great to find this forum I am really going through alot these days and it looks like I have found the best place to find people who understand.

12 years I have fought this and I am having a very hard past two weeks. I have been outed by my family and now there's going to be problems with that. I have tried to keep my problem on the low but people close to me have known something's wrong for a long time.

I am not very social and don't go out very much because of being in crowds of people so home is really all I know except for going to work, which I work out of my home so there you go. When we go out to eat or to church I have to sit in a certain place so that I can see everything and feel safe. I am very tired of being "ON POINT" all things like noise, flashes of light, shadows, smells etc. are very acute and almost overwhelming for me now.

At times I will get angry for no reason and or very nervous. It's almost more than I can handle. I already had a problem being around other people and now that my problems have been put on display I don't know what to do. I cannot begin to explain how much this has hurt me, I don't know if it was a misguided attempt at help for my situation or what but what I do know is that it has really put me in a horrible position that I do not know how to handle.

I have self medicated on and off for while drinking and that worked for a while but if left unchecked would be a problem its self, so so much for that wasn't good for me anyway,I am thankful that I found this Forum so I can just sort of talk it out. I don't have anyone to talk to and that makes for a Lonesome Legend.

 

[Anna]

Welcome to the forum :)

 

[KP the nut]

Hi Legend and welcome to the forum.

Plenty of information, support and friendship to be found here. Plenty of people to talk to as well;)

 

[Tinyflame]

Hi Legend.

Yes, I found self-medicating my sorrows quickly learned to swim. :( But anything that is genuinely helpful helps much.

Welcome to you. :)

 

[kodiak]

Welcome Legend

 

[Pinkcake]

Hi Legend.....I'm new here too and I've already found it a great place to ask questions or get suggestions about my PTSD. I have issues with my family accepting my PTSD too and I'm trying to learn how to make that not matter. It's tough.

 

[intothelight]

Hi Legend,

Welcome to the PTSD Forum! :)

I hope you find the information and support here helpful as you work on healing. This is a great site to start to break out of the isolation.

Take care.
Debbie

 

[confusedcaregiver]

Hi! Thanks for joining our community! With every new member we all grow stronger.

I think it was a misguided attempt at helping you to be honest. Just their way of saying, "we all know and care what you are going through". I completely understand your unhappiness with the situation though... I was emailing with a relative and mentioned my PTSD to a family member for the first time just on Friday. I asked it be kept between us but I am now super terrified it will get passed on.

If it does, it is only out of care and concern for me, but still not a good feeling!!

 

[NarcSis]

You're definitely not alone, I'm learning to deal with a lot of my social anxiety and hyper vigilance - slow going.

Family can be tough to deal with, especially when they let your 'secret' out to others. Tests the bonds of trust that's for sure.

Welcome to the forum, a lot of people here who understand what you're dealing with. :)

 

[Legend]

You're definitely not alone, I'm learning to deal with a lot of my social anxiety and hyper vigilance - slow going.

Family can be tough to deal with, especially when they let your 'secret' out to others. Tests the bonds of trust that's for sure.

Welcome to the forum, a lot of people here who understand what you're dealing with. :)

It's about 4:00 am and I have been awake sence midnight, I really do thank you for your reply.I am pretty shaken right now and feel myself wanting to run and hide from the world, I was doing fine up till friday and all of a sudden bang out of nowhere like a ton of bricks it landed on me. I am now just starting to remember the whole thing, it was pretty spotty at first but things are coming back in a true and clear way. This was the first time that I have ever sort of blacked out, and to be frank it scares the heck out of me.

I am afraid to talk to anyone about it very much, I already have problems with being around people and I also have the feeling that people are a bit uneasy around me.I dont know if its just me or if its a fact, for the first 24 hours I was in a fog and I really dont know how else to describe it. Sunday I was a better and by this morning I am not normal but close except for the fear. I dont understand why I am so afraid, my insides are in knots.I have to work today and I really dont know how thats going to go, my work has suffered over the past few months, I guess it's a good thing I work for myself, I probably would have fired me by now.

Time to go and see what I can get done, thanks again.

 

[confusedcaregiver]

Anxiety and fear seem to be extremely common in trauma sufferers. It can be hard to process things for the first time (I am completely in your shoes on that one), but after the first couple tidal waves you may start feeling a little better. Getting out some of that pent up pressure is not a bad thing!

 

[Whitneys story]

Hi and so glad you have found the forum. I hope you are feeling the understanding here.

I wish you success on your journey!