Sufferer Legend Has Ptsd

[NarcSis]

Confusedcaregiver said it all there, as it begins to get processed, it will eventually start to settle as you find new healthier ways to cope. Just hold on to something through these early stages, a belief, a hobby, something to keep you grounded in the present.

Remember to breathe, breathing is a good thing. You are where you are in life because you're a survivor - hope you're feeling better.

 

[Legend]

Good morning, I am feeling somewhat better and I am a bit more at ease. I had it bad yesterday, probably my worst day so far. However this morning things are more clear, I had a long talk with my wife an another friend which helped. I have found a couple of good points from what has just happened, Confusedcaregiver touched on something that is very true. I now know where the front lines are, they are well defined and it is good to know where my limit is and how much I can hold.

Medic72 thanks for the reply brother, I hope you are doing well too. Things are different after this happened, and as I am regaining my composure I do not feel like the same person. I cant really explain it but it's a feeling that is both painful and relieving at the same time.

 

[Legend]

Well I think that i'll live, it's the day befor Thanksgiving and I have regained my clear thinking. I really dont know what to say this morning except thank God it's over for the moment, I am still dealing with the fallout from the whole thing, but thats probably the easy part compaired to tha last few days. I am very new to this Forum thing and dont really know what i'm doing, navigation is strange to me on here but I will get the hang of it over time. Everyone have a great Thanksgiving.

 

[Whitneys story]

Legend, Yes it is different learning to navigate here. It does get much easier and I still laugh at myself at times.

On the homepage are some excellent articles that help explain what can help on the journey. Also a testing area for learning quoting etc.

So glad you are feeling welcomed! When you want to run from the world just pop in here. Someone is always hanging around for the same reason. Whitney

 

[Legend]

I slept well last night, nothing to scream about but some fairly good zzzzzs. I did not have the really bad dreams, but did dream of a flood where people were being washed away.I found a kitten that was walking down the road with a group of people and took him home. Strange I know, but my dreams can be pretty random sometimes.I spoke to a counselor in my area yesterday and set an appointment, I really don't want to do this but I have to. I find it hard to open up to people, and I have a real problem with trusting folks. My hope is that it will help both my wife and myself,she is a good person and has watched as I tried to deal with this thing for years.

It's Thanksgiving here and the whole family will shortly join us for dinner, I both like and hate holidays. I have to be able to predict whats going to happen from moment to moment in my everyday life so I will feel calm and safe. It should'ent make a difference when its family and we are at home but it does, I think that feeling this way is probably the worst thing to put up with. I am still feeling better after this last week, and I am going to focus on the positive aspects of what I can handle today.

Have a great day Legend!

 

[Whitneys story]

Legend, Good for you making an appointment. I am hoping you find peace at your appt. Fear is hard to overcome trust even harder.

Have a wonderful time with your family. Do you write down your dreams? Generally they do not make sense for me either. But they have messages I find when reading later. Eat lots! Hugs, Whitney

 

[Legend]

I dont write about my dreams, my dreams are as vivid as the real world. I can remember everything after waking , "in color" and its like a movie playing out.Sometimes I wonder what's a dream and what's real, I dream about being taken prisoner very often, I know the guys and all about the camps we are in. I know their families that write to them and have a whole life there that I do not have here. I come from a different place with different friends that are in my dream time and not here where I am awake. Thanks for your reply and your Huggs.

 

[Pinkcake]

Legend- I'm glad your days and nights are improving. I understand about not wanting to share with an outside person about private and sometimes embarrassing or scary thoughts, experiences or dreams.

The best thing about that is knowing that as long as I'm not talking about killing someone, they have to keep every.single.thing I talk about confidential or lose their license to practice. Its important for me to know that because some of the things I talk to my therapist about could cause me issues.

I really am glad to see that things are starting to improve for you!

 

[AS1975]

all of a sudden bang out of nowhere like a ton of bricks it landed on me. I am now just starting to remember the whole thing, it was pretty spotty at first but things are coming back in a true and clear way. This was the first time that I have ever sort of blacked out, and to be frank it scares the heck out of me.

Yeah mate, I've been there. I "thought" I knew what reliving things, flashbacks and intrusive thoughts actually were, then one night, pretty much out of nowhere, BOOM. Full on dream/nightmare, then I'm awake but I'm still in the dream, sights, smells, absolute terror (which I didn't experience at the time at all), just horrific. That is pretty much what made me reach out and seek treatment, it scared the absolute piss out of me.

 

[Legend]

Yeah mate, I've been there. I "thought" I knew what reliving things, flashbacks and intrusive thoughts actually were, then one night, pretty much out of nowhere, BOOM. Full on dream/nightmare, then I'm awake but I'm still in the dream, sights, smells, absolute terror (which I didn't experience at the time at all), just horrific. That is pretty much what made me reach out and seek treatment, it scared the absolute piss out of me.

It's Sunday so today is Church then back home, I have some work to compleat for Monday and then a week full of appointments. My left knee is going to require an operation very soon and Tuesday I find out when that will be. I had a better nights sleep last night, and feel atleast somewhat rested which is a blessing.I have not had a dream where I got up and tore through the house for a long time, at times I will be dreaming, get up and run around in our home like a wild animal.

My wife says that she cannot describe the sounds that I make during these events, it's something like an animal and she says pretty frightning. I hate it, and I am proud that it dosent happen that often. Dreams for me are like waking up in a new world and living a whole life on the otherside. It's not so great most of the time"no rest" then I wake up here and do it all over again. Today I hope for a good day and I try to believe that things are looking up, thanks Pincake and AS1975 for your thoughts and posts, have a great day!
Legend

 

[Whitneys story]

Hi Legend, I also dream/nightmare in color which I was told is not possible! Sounds like a busy week for you.

Hoping for the best outcome on surgery. Pain can create a lot of anxiety which took me a long time to realize. I'll be holding your hand as you get through this.

Have an outstanding and positive week! Hugs, Whitney

 

[JustBe]

Legend said:
"I have to be able to predict whats going to happen from moment to moment in my everyday life so I will feel calm and safe. It should'nt make a difference when its family and we are at home but it does,"

I feel the same way. It is what it is I guess.

Welcome to the Forum :)