Sufferer Legend Has Ptsd

[Legend]

Picked up my truck from the shop today, went to the Dr. about my knee, got new furniture. Busy morning and tonight my first T. appointment I dread that one, I really dont know what to expect which is probably a good thing for me. I hate being open about my PTSD, really an uncomfortable thing for me to do. The questions really get to me because I am a very private person by nature. I guess its got to be though, I have to choose the right thing to do for me and my family.

I am going to be honest and just do my best to get through this session, hopefully it will be a bit more easy as time passes? I made up my mind after the last attack ( couple of weeks ago ) that I had to get help, I never want to feel that kind of pain again. I have been shot,cut,stabbed,run over, and set on fire ( all true ) and never have I had pain as bad as this mental pain.My family is afraid of me and for me, so it's up to me to try everything I can to put it to rest.
Wish me luck, Legend

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Hello Legend,

You might want to start a trauma diary. It is very helpful and most people seem to also use it as a normal diary. Take a look at other peoples it get ideas.

Just a thought.

 

[Pinkcake]

I hope it went well tonight Legend.

 

[Legend]

I hope it went well tonight Legend.

Thanks Pinkcake
It went as well as one could expect, I was asked alot of questions about many things. Some were important some in my mind were not, however I know that it all comes together in the end to draw a picture of me. I was not very comfortable with the whole thing, but it had to be done. I am set for weekly apps. for awhile so we will see what happens. The therapist is a man in his late 40s, seemed to be a good fellow for the most part, joked around alot which was fine with me. I could sence him analyzing me from the moment we shook hands in the lobby of his office. It felt like that he was screaming, IM LOOKING INSIDE YOUR HEAD, which was hard to ignore.:eek:

The experience left me somewhat upset and a bit ticked off, why I dont know? I guess that the important thing is that I give it a chance, and dont get caught up in my own head about it. The real test is yet to come, he told me that we would be playing a game or two. Also he said that he dosent get chance to beat up on a guy as big as me very often ( ha ha ). I kind of like his sence of humor in a way.He wants me to draw my dreams not write about them, that should be pretty intresting! I was told to read a certain book and that I would have to learn to cry, Man how bout that.

Well thats about all that happened last night, I am a bit unsure about the whole thing.
Legend

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I wish you luck. Let us know how it went for you, so we can keep on supporting you.

 

[Whitneys story]

Legend, It sounds like he might have a direction to follow. Some T's just sit while you talk which I found a waste of my time!

You made it through the first appointment and it will get easier. I am impressed that he asked you to draw! Don't worry about being an artist, he is not expecting you to be.

Always remember it takes time. Hugs, Whitney

 

[CrazyHorse]

Dreams for me are like waking up in a new world and living a whole life on the otherside.

Thank you for this legend! Thank you for putting into words what I could not!

 

[Legend]

Got up at 5:00 am, pretty sick with a cold like thing. I probably got it from my wife because she is sick too. I am not feeling the love at home today, I guess I should be use to it but I,m not. Had to put off a project that I need to be done with pretty soon, but I just cannot see working out in below freezing weather sick. It's pretty rough around the casa today, the wife is not wanting to play nice at all. It's probably my fault some way, but I havent figured out how yet. Most things around here are, so it's fairly normal I guess.

I really dont need anymore stress but that dosent matter to other people very much. It's pretty sad how the me me me thing affects us all, I am somewhat guilty of it myself. Focusing on our own problems blinds us to the problems of others, it's hard to put yours aside to help someone else. I think it's about habits learned from being taught that it's ok to be selfish. More and more I see it in everyday life. I drive alot in the DC metro area and have a ring side seat to the circus we call rush hour.

Horns blowing, good ole one finger salutes going off all around you. People rushing up to cut you off so they can be one car ahead, it just dosent make sence. The compitition thing has gotten way out of control, good ole one upman ship, I can be better, more right, faster, more worthy, first, the winner, number one, and believe that everyone is below me in short order. So with all this said I will just try and stay quiet and out of her way today, she has things that she is dealing with too. I do love her but I really dont think she know just how much, I just hope she figures it out in due time.

Have a great day folks, Legend;)

 

[KP the nut]

Hi Legend.

As this is the introduction forum. Have you thought about starting a diary to update others rather than keeping your introduction going? You could even put the link to your diary here so people will know where to go.

Thanks
KP

 

[KP the nut]

Legend now has a diary.

[DLMURL]https://www.ptsdforum.org/c/threads/legend-has-ptsd.29571/[/DLMURL]