Sufferer Let's Give This A Try, Yes?

[mothsorbet]

Hi, everybody. My name is Julie. I'm twenty-two.

I am joining this forum because, while I have made much progress with the multitude of therapists/psychologists/psychiatrists I have been seeing, I am seeking practical advice from people who "get it." My one fear is that this forum will be some sort of contest to see who has had it the worst. Please tell me this isn't about out-traumatizing eachother. I just want to support and be supported.

As everyone knows, diagnoses are just words to make treatment easier and not black and white, but for now I will share what I have been diagnosed with. Severe and chronic PTSD and mild dissociative identity disorder/multiple personality disorder.

I'm aware that this forum cannot make my psychotic symptoms/delusions go away, and won't get rid of my "personalities." I guess what I am trying to overcome with the help of empathetic souls like yourselves (I hope) is reassurance that I am not alone and despite what everyone I interact with on a daily basis says, my behavior is normal, considering the first 20 years of my life.

Ultimately like, I would like to not be overcome by such white hot, soul-crushing anger at every social problem. hearing about/witnessing rape, porn, child abuse, violence and exploitation of any kind send me spiraling into out of control paranoia and seething rage that I cannot turn off. I lash out at everyone, especially those that care about me the most. while I think being socially aware and feminist is important, I cannot keep living like this. I can't save the world.

More tidbits:
I have a cat named Miles Davis. My favorite foods are plantains and hummus. Sonic youth is my favorite band.

:coldfeet: Thank you for having me.

 

[mothsorbet]

whuh-oh. I think I may have done this incorrectly. excuse the lack of caps at the beginning of sentences. I hope you can forgo the super-proper grammar and accept my mostly-proper grammar.

Here's a short summary of the trauma in my post-trauma disorder: Raped from the ages of 3-5 by a family member, causing chronic pelvic problems. Moderate to severe physical abuse from infancy to late adolescence (knives, burns, choking, etc). Extremely severe emotional abuse from infancy to early adolescence. internet exploitation by a stranger at age fourteen. Brutal sexual assault by a co-worker at the age of seventeen. growing up in extreme poverty (no electric, no running water, eight siblings in a two bedroom trailer).

And there we have it.

 

[dms]

Wow! Welcome mothsorbet. You have survive a lot in your life.

 

[Sailorgal]

Welcome mothsorbet,

Is that ALL???? :eek:

I think you will find this place to be a bit more harmonious. Again, it's whatever YOU are comfortable with sharing, reading, etc. It's a resource and hope you will make it worth your while to regain a new life for yourself. You are young and have a lot to live for including Miles. ;)

 

[Phenioxrising]

Welcome mothsorbet.

Your reactions are "normal" just by being reminded of the situation.

When I first started therapy, a Dr. let some nurses look into my chart, which was when I first e-mailed my T about my abuse and handed him my diagnosis ( diagnosed myself). This was when I went to the ER for my somatic pain. Of course that is suposed to be private. I called Admin. and boy did I let out all the rage I had in my system from the abuse. I feel sorry for the poor secratary now. But it's true you are mad, no one deserves to be treated and hurt the way we all were.

 

[Hashi]

my one fear is that this forum will be some sort of contest to see who has had it the worst. please tell me this isn't about out-traumatizing eachother

No, it isn't. It's about support. :)

my favorite foods are plantains and hummus

Together? ;)

Welcome, and I hope you'll find this a safe, supportive place.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Welcome to the forum. :)

 

[mothsorbet]

I think you will find this place to be a bit more harmonious. Again, it's whatever YOU are comfortable with sharing, reading, etc. It's a resource and hope you will make it worth your while to regain a new life for yourself. You are young and have a lot to live for including Miles. ;)

You're sweet. Thank you.

Miles is an absolute joy.

I look forward to getting to know everybody.

 

[Froggie]

Welcome to the forum. I've been a member for 2 years+ now and have never regretted it. It's been a very supportive and loving forum for me. A second family ... real family that I can trust. I have given this web site to my PTSD therapist so that she can pass it on to her english speaking patients. You've come to the right place.

BTW, many animal lovers here, there are even a few threads on them just to share the joy of their company.

 

[KP the nut]

Hi and welcome to the forum.