I am in no way overcome PTSD but I have came further when it first impacted me. But, if I had been given such a letter at the beginning, it of course would have answered many questions for me at the time. So, here it is:
Dear Nik,
Calmly read this and you will be fine. The first thing to know is that your panic is not caused by a looming heart attack or the situation you are in - it's caused by scary thoughts. These scary thoughts are actually producing adrenaline - a chemical that speeds up your heart and your breathing and gives you a dry mouth, dizzy feelings and a churning stomach. Why did I get scary thoughts in the first place? Because of a trigger you were either aware of or not. Doesn't matter anyway, the trigger has been pulled and you are panicking.
Keep reading.
Adrenaline makes your heart flutter and pump faster. This can feel as if you're having a heart attack, so you panic about this (something is definitely wrong thoughts, what is this? thoughts, this isn't panic thoughts, etc) and you now produce more adrenaline. Adrenaline makes you breathe rapidly, this will create pain in your chest and also upset the balances of gases in your lungs and blood. This makes you feel tingles all over your body, like you are about to pass out or suffocate. You panic about this and produce even more adrenaline.
The rapid shallow breathing makes you feel dizzy and off balance. You think you're having a stroke, or that you're going mad, or about to fall off a cliff. You panic about this and produce even more adrenaline. (Are you seeing the pattern? Get the picture?) It's the adrenaline that causes the bodily changes, but the thoughts mistake it for something else. It's the panic/anxiety trick, it's there to make you run, it's classic fight/flight or freeze that is happening.
As soon as you start to feel panic coming on, remember that it's just adrenaline and you are NOT going mad, having a heart attack, a stroke or about to faint.
Panic feels dangerous, but it isn't.
When you panic, you breathe too fast. It's called hyperventilation and it's making your dry mouth, blurry eyes and dizziness worse. It also makes you feel you are about to faint and it may be giving you a tight feeling in the chest. Even pins and needles (tingling sensations, creepy crawly feelings, etc)
In this state, you have to fix your breathing and try relax and this is how:
Close your mouth and then inhale through the nose, breathe in a normal sized breath down into your tummy (raising your tummy, watch a baby, they are professional breathers lol) while slowly counting one. . .two. . .three to yourself, hold for 2-3seconds, taking about a second for each number you count.
Now breathe out again, still through the nose or pursed lips for the count of one. . .two. . .three and feel your belly deflate, hold once more for 2-3 seconds. Then repeat. Your mind is going to tell you that you are doing it wrong, it's going to feel very counter-intuitive, like it's not natural. . . but the body will be so tense in it's panic state, keep with it. . .you will feel the body calming down soon. Relax shoulders by dropping them. Notice anywhere else that is tense around your body and start to relax them. If you can't, start with one finger!
Repeat until you feel the intensity wear itself out. You will still feel trembly, shaky even, maybe exhausted, still nervous, worrying another one is coming, it may even come in waves. This is okay, keep repeating and you will feel frustration and the usual - this is never going away, it will always be like this, something is wrong. . . just thoughts and these thoughts will come because you are still in a panicky state. It's okay. Don't ignore them, don't push them away. . .they are there to help you (though they are not being helpful) all you should be focusing on is controlling your breathing, if you get distracted by a scary thought that really convinces you this is serious, you are dying. . .this is panic. I repeat, this is panic playing a trick on you. Remember, your fight/flight has been activated, your brain wants you to run away from your threat (which there isn't one, it's basically a trigger that has got you in this state) Just gently pull your attention away from this distracting (destructive) thought and begin the slow, controlled breathing. (In my experience,sometimes it can feel it's hurting my lungs as I feel it's forced breathing, this is so normal and this will pass!)
Most importantly, where ever you are in this state. Do NOT run away, not yet! Calmly make your decision. Stay or go? Tough it out or be with a supporter, family, friend? If, even after you've done the breathing exercise and remembered about the adrenaline and what it can do to your body, you still feel bad, then do what you have to do, do not rush anything in a frantic panic state. Wait it out. Believe me, it's going to pass.
Be aware that anxiety and panic needs more than just adrenaline as an outlet, it needs these thoughts as the fuel. Adrenaline is what makes the body run, but if you are not running, it makes sense that your brain is going to and will try anything to move your ass into gear, by off-shooting so much adrenaline and panic really badly, with the most terrifying, intrusive, frightening, scary thoughts to get you moving into action that you really do not need to take.
If you are able to face your fear this way, proving to yourself, just a little each time, that the monsters and demons are only in your imagination, past memories (that by the way you dealt with at that time!!!), you will have taken a big, huge, massive step towards facing your panic attacks to finally reach less fear of them!
It's going to be okay. Read again and again and again if you still feel panicky! :hug:
My letter, hope it helps others out there! :tup:
