Letting Your Guard Down

[Cool Cat]

I just spent a whole session on this topic.

I find it so hard, even staying on the topic.

I crack jokes, I blame me, I blame my T, I get angry, I dissociate, I change the subject.

But to be vulnerable I find so so difficult. Just when I feel the emotion coming over, as I feel close to tears - I crack a joke.

I need to overcome ths :unsure:

 

[WildMermaid]

<--has same damn problem. Deflection and humor are good foils. I'm sorry you're struggling with it though. :hug:

 

[Cool Cat]

Yup! And I'm very witty as well.

 

[WildMermaid]

@Cool Cat well I've been witness to that aspect of you! :D I think it is a wondrous thing to have humor on your side. Though it can be destructive and unhelpful sometimes and by being aware of it, I'll bet it is already starting to change for you.

 

[Jane.l]

I do it too - humour is my get out.

 

[reallydown]

I've done this too...and still do, often enough (though not in therapy anymore because well...I'm not in therapy these days :P )...The problem with that is that even some therapists don't recognize what you're doing and other people think you couldn't possibly be unwell because how could you crack all these jokes? Grrrr

 

[shimmerz]

But to be vulnerable I find so so difficult. Just when I feel the emotion coming over, as I feel close to tears - I crack a joke.

We have had a similar day today. I, unfortunately don't have a bank of jokes to share. Yes, vulnerable is one of the hardest things.

 

[WildMermaid]

I cry a lot but laugh twice as much as my very nature is one of absurdity. Makes therapy a challenge. Lol.

 

[Ronin]

Yup, there. And I joke about traumatic things - because when I'm really down, I joke about it regardless - which not many in my life knew how to respond to at all. It was difficult to explain I don't do tears when I'm down, I do tears if I'm alright, as in have access to emotions and consider it safe to - laughter is much more accessible.

 

[reallydown]

Also wanted to add...I guess on some level it makes sense if the therapist doesn't get it if you haven't been able to be vulnerable enough to even tell them what's going on (as was the case with me more often than I'd care to admit...) ...I don't know what the solution to this is unless you are lucky and your therapist has a Pythia quality...

 

[Cool Cat]

It's amazing how abominable a fear it is though

 

[Friday]

"Love is giving someone the power to destroy you & trusting them not to." -unknown