Let's see....
My trauma was a chronic survival threat (childhood abuse; primary abuser was my mother), and began when I was about 4-ish. I never knew any other way to be than numb, depressed, fearful, dissociative, depersonalized, but I DID know that something was very wrong. I started seeking help when I was 17 (I was dissociating to the point where I was having difficulty getting back to reality). Unfortunately, back then (27 years ago), PTSD was thought to be from war only, so I was a tough case for the therapists. One told me I had BPD and another dx'd me as borderline schizoid. DID came up a couple of times, as well.
I have done a lot of work: EMDR, hypnosis, talk therapy, group therapy, 12 step, meditation, yoga, CBT (a form of which I am currently working with). The form of CBT that I'm doing has been the most helpful, but it is a hell of a lot of work.
After reading a book about hyperarousal and music, I have found that classical music helps me a lot (Beethoven in particular). I like to play chess, play pool, volleyball, tennis, (not that I'm super good at any of the former...I just like them!), read, hike, draw - I'm taking a drawing class right now, spend time with my animals, and walk in the woods (we live in the mountains). I love hot food - have never found anything that's TOO spicy for me. I am mainly vegan, but sometimes eat M&Ms or Doritos (my downfall foods!) and those do have dairy. I am an animal rights activist and conservationist. No one can abuse a child, an old person, or an animal around me.
On the downside: Depersonalization and numbing are big challenges for me. Trying to stay present is tiring and difficult. It's what I'm working on right now. I also am struggling to work through my grief over feeling as though I've wasted my whole life with this crap - not really living and fulfilling dreams/destiny/"potential".
I've been in my relationship about 22 years (minus 2 break ups in that time frame). My partner was dx'd with PTSD, but her experience is very different. Her symptoms are not pervasive and don't rule her life. Her trauma wasn't from her immediate family, so maybe that makes the difference there, but she has more the hyperstartle and can't stand repetitive/loud noise. She finds safety in routine (she calls herself the Routine Queen, heh heh).
We live on 10 acres and I would love to eventually do more animal rescue (we have 4 dogs and 2 cats currently) with larger/farm animals like horses and pigs.
That's about it for me!
What do you do for a living, Morgan?
-D
My trauma was a chronic survival threat (childhood abuse; primary abuser was my mother), and began when I was about 4-ish. I never knew any other way to be than numb, depressed, fearful, dissociative, depersonalized, but I DID know that something was very wrong. I started seeking help when I was 17 (I was dissociating to the point where I was having difficulty getting back to reality). Unfortunately, back then (27 years ago), PTSD was thought to be from war only, so I was a tough case for the therapists. One told me I had BPD and another dx'd me as borderline schizoid. DID came up a couple of times, as well.
I have done a lot of work: EMDR, hypnosis, talk therapy, group therapy, 12 step, meditation, yoga, CBT (a form of which I am currently working with). The form of CBT that I'm doing has been the most helpful, but it is a hell of a lot of work.
After reading a book about hyperarousal and music, I have found that classical music helps me a lot (Beethoven in particular). I like to play chess, play pool, volleyball, tennis, (not that I'm super good at any of the former...I just like them!), read, hike, draw - I'm taking a drawing class right now, spend time with my animals, and walk in the woods (we live in the mountains). I love hot food - have never found anything that's TOO spicy for me. I am mainly vegan, but sometimes eat M&Ms or Doritos (my downfall foods!) and those do have dairy. I am an animal rights activist and conservationist. No one can abuse a child, an old person, or an animal around me.
On the downside: Depersonalization and numbing are big challenges for me. Trying to stay present is tiring and difficult. It's what I'm working on right now. I also am struggling to work through my grief over feeling as though I've wasted my whole life with this crap - not really living and fulfilling dreams/destiny/"potential".
I've been in my relationship about 22 years (minus 2 break ups in that time frame). My partner was dx'd with PTSD, but her experience is very different. Her symptoms are not pervasive and don't rule her life. Her trauma wasn't from her immediate family, so maybe that makes the difference there, but she has more the hyperstartle and can't stand repetitive/loud noise. She finds safety in routine (she calls herself the Routine Queen, heh heh).
We live on 10 acres and I would love to eventually do more animal rescue (we have 4 dogs and 2 cats currently) with larger/farm animals like horses and pigs.
That's about it for me!
What do you do for a living, Morgan?
-D
