Life Is Full Of Surprises

[Deleted member 6617]

Thank you Anni! Seriously, thank you. Sometimes I wonder if it is okay to share things like this. Just because....well....does anyone really care I have a long lost brother. I do though. So I share and I am glad you don't mind reading it. Gives me courage to continue to share. I too hope this is the sweetness of beginnings.

Well, I am a bit bummed. Monday is not going to work out after all. I will have to wait till I get back from vacation. Though disappointing, it really is probably a good thing. I can get to know him more via email. Maybe then the shock of him looking like my dad won't be so hard because I will know the person is so very different. Seems to make sense anyway. It will happen when it is meant to. I believe that.

 

[Deleted member 6617]

Change of plan again....I DO get to meet my brother tomorrow. He didn't want to wait till I got back so rearranged his schedule. So we (eight of us total) are getting together tomorrow. I am a bundle of nerves. Mostly good ones I think. My mind is racing. I can't even begin to put myself in his shoes. This has got to be amazing for him to find he has such a large family. I hope he is coping well. He seems to be.

My heart skipped a few beats this afternoon. Looking at pictures someone said he and I resemble each other. Oh God...does that mean I resemble my father. That makes me want to throw up. Guess I better get over it and come to terms with it. Yes, I know looks are not everything. Can't judge a book by it's cover. Beauty is from the inside out. I'm sure there are a hundred more sayings. All true, but don't seem to make a difference to the little girl that was abused, raped, tortured by her father. The looks are a trigger. I have never, ever seen my father in my looks. I have never, ever looked for them either. Can I look like my brother without looking like my father. Oh God....I think this is going to be a challenge for me to overcome. Or maybe his inside will dominate the outside appearance. For lack of a better word, YIKES...guess I will find out. Wish us all well!

 

[Reclusive]

Good luck!!! And yes, it's entirely possible to look like your brother without looking like your dad.

 

[anni]

Well, and maybe it's time for you and he to just perhaps look like each other and leave that other person as the anonymous sperm donor whose only importance was that. Some symbolic beginning where you and your brother own just THAT-your new family and face, as yours, and that other person can't have it! My beautiful daughter has these very distinctive dimples, up high, by her cheeks, which HE had. Drove me insane for a long time.They make her face so unique and even out of the ordinary that over time I've kind of been able to resent that he had that trait and now have turned it into hers alone which he borrowed somehow unfairly. :) Funny what you can do, turning this stuff around sometimes but it's completely true.

You and your brother probably look like each other, and noone else, your nice little genetic island broken off from the forgotten mainland. I'm a little antsy waiting to hear how it all went for you an your family. :)

 

[intothelight]

(((PH))),

When Anni mention the sperm donor, that is what my girls have done; because the term "father" does not apply. Reclusive is right; if there are similarities between the two of you, it is because you look alike.

I hope this is wonderful for the both of you. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

Deb

 

[Deleted member 6617]

Today, today, today.....I meet my brother today!!!!!

Thank you all for your support and encouragement! I for sure will be posting how things went!

 

[Reclusive]

Don't forget to update us!

 

[Deleted member 6617]

Had the most wonderful time meeting and visiting with my brother and his wife and oldest son. OMG...I am so at a loss for words because it is all still sinking in. We talked for close to three hours. My cheeks hurt from smiling and laughing so much. It was a really awesome first meeting. I need to write it all out how they found us because it is amazing. It really is like a movie, only this is real life and I am a part of it. Tonight though I am exhausted. My thoughts are still swimming and I am feeling overwhelmed. I will write it out when I have had time to sort it all out in my mind. Fantastic Day!

 

[intothelight]

I am so happy for you! Its about time for some "good" to happen!

 

[Deleted member 6617]

Been in weekly contact with my brother. It is so good to get to know him and his family. We share stories of how we grew up. Some sad, some happy. This process of getting to know each other has been quite a journey. I still can't hardly believe it is true, but I am so very glad it is. He is a wonderful man and I see it more and more each time we have gotten together. He is quite the joker too. Love his sense of humor. This has been a very positive thing in my life. Got to remember it when things look so dreary and hopeless. There are positives and my brother is a reminder of that.

 

[Deleted member 6617]

It has been such a joy to get to know my brother. "MY BROTHER", makes me smile every time I say it and I can't seem to say it enough. I call him "big bro", he calls me "little sis". It warms my heart and still gives me goose bumps. I am truly loving getting to know this amazing, gentle man. I am blessed, incredibly blessed!

 

[anni]

Thanks for sharing that, PH. Blessings to you both. :)