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News Link: Explaining Women To Men

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...Added...My guy assumes he is butt-ugly and "invisible" to women...but every woman I have shown his picture to have said he's a fine-lookin' man...
This includes a female co-worker who said " Whoo! Nice!"
But I love him because he's him. He could be in a butt-ugly body and I would find him sexy b/c I love him?
...If your best feature ain't your face, put your sweet personality out there, women are ( in general :rolleyes: ) less hung up on looks.
 
This article rang very true to me. I think this should be mandatory reading for all men, especially th...
The creepiest men in the world to me are usually the ones that turn around and say, "Girls just don't like me because I am a nice guy, they only wants jerks." If you are thinking that, you are probably coming off as creepy to girls and not coming off as nice guys.

Hi, I tried to post about your quote about the worst creeps being the ones who claim they are nice guys, but I didn't insert the quote properly.

Regardless, how would you suggest that a genuine nice guy express his interest in you? Would he have to psychoanalyze you to know your specific fears, just to know how to talk with you?

I'm asking because I have been a "nice guy", seemingly to a fault. I've always been told I am good looking, smart and interesting. I've had numerous female friends, but I'm shy, and for years I felt too inexperienced with sex to be aggressive. I feel total confidence now about my skills as a Tantric lover, because I tried to listen and learn from every partner that I had.

Now I'm in my 60s, a widower and grandfather, retired comfortably, creative, etc. Yet I still am treated like an "old buddy" by most women I care about. I still behave like a gentleman, mostly because that's me. But I wonder from what you said if somehow I am unknowingly creepy.

It really has been my impression that women gravitate to dangerous men. Many of the women I know have been victimized by stupid or aggressive men that they have chosen.

I asked one woman a while back why she was in love with a guy I knew to be dangerous and abusive, instead of her showing interest in someone like me. Her reply was that he had "charisma". I asked her then if charisma was more attractive than character, at which point, she had no answer. He later killed two innocent people while driving in a suicidal rage. He survived, and she took care of him.
 
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Yet I still am treated like an "old buddy" by most women I care about. I still behave like a gentleman, mostly because that's me. But I wonder from what you said if somehow I am unknowingly creepy.

Women don't make friends with creeps.
I asked her then if charisma was more attractive than character,
Absolutely. Charisma is instantaneous. Character is learned.

What attracts is rarely what one stays for. It may be. Whether it's charisma, or beauty, or an interesting scar, or whatever first attracted a person. But usually there needs to be something more substantive behind initial attraction.
 
I didn't realize how afraid I was of men.

ETA, angry men, & esp physically motivated (actions & words) o...

Hi Junebug and others. I think one of the confusing things about the book excerpt is the general use of "fear." We all know there are degrees of fear, caution, alertness, awareness of hazards, terror, horror, even simple dread. Yet the book seems to lump all those together, just as it lumps all women together.

I think there are some good thoughts in the book, but people don't always experience fear to the same degree. I think that depends upon their individual vulnerabilities.

And in fact, if you "didn't realize how afraid" you are, are you really afraid, or are you simply uninformed about hazards?
 
And in fact, if you "didn't realize how afraid" you are, are you really afraid, or are you simply uninformed about hazards?

Notwithstanding it takes a minute to wrap one's head around the gravity of the unexpected, or to what degree people or happenings have gone to extremes, I don't think 'life' allowed me to be uninformed.

I think saying by 'not realizing to what degree' I just mean internally minimizing or denying the degree of my fear until caught unawares by the degree of my own fear & my own reactions to who/ what is causing the fear.

(Though those reactions can also have connections to other baggage of my own past.)
 
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