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List Your Joke, Funny Caption To Brighten Ptsd
- Post starter anthony
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D
Deleted member 541
Cute, and quite a catchy tune. Well, I enjoyed it, and lately, it fits for some, that I have had to deal with.
http://www.buffaloschips.com/72240.htm
http://www.buffaloschips.com/72240.htm
M
midi
Bottle of Wine
A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday morning; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them is hurt. God works in mysterious ways. After they crawl out of their cars, the man is yelling about women drivers. The woman says, 'So, you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should be friends and live in peace for the rest of our days.'
Flattered, the man replies, 'Oh yes, I agree completely, this must be a sign from God! But you're still at fault...women shouldn't be allowed to drive.' The woman continues, 'And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune..'
She hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman.
The woman takes the bottle, puts the cap back on and hands it back to the man.
The man asks, 'Aren't you having any?'
The woman replies, 'No. I think I'll just wait for the police...'
MORAL OF THE STORY:
Women are clever, evil bitches.
Don't mess with them.
A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday morning; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them is hurt. God works in mysterious ways. After they crawl out of their cars, the man is yelling about women drivers. The woman says, 'So, you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should be friends and live in peace for the rest of our days.'
Flattered, the man replies, 'Oh yes, I agree completely, this must be a sign from God! But you're still at fault...women shouldn't be allowed to drive.' The woman continues, 'And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune..'
She hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman.
The woman takes the bottle, puts the cap back on and hands it back to the man.
The man asks, 'Aren't you having any?'
The woman replies, 'No. I think I'll just wait for the police...'
MORAL OF THE STORY:
Women are clever, evil bitches.
Don't mess with them.
A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks, in the sweetest little lisp, between two missing teeth, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you sell widdle wabbits?"
As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees so that he's on her level and asks, "Do you want a widdle white wabbit, or a thoft and fuwwy bwack wabbit? Or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabbit over there?"
The little girl blushes, leans forward and says, in a tiny quiet littlevoice, "I don't think my python weally gives a thit."
As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees so that he's on her level and asks, "Do you want a widdle white wabbit, or a thoft and fuwwy bwack wabbit? Or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabbit over there?"
The little girl blushes, leans forward and says, in a tiny quiet littlevoice, "I don't think my python weally gives a thit."
Thankyou so much for this, just perfect. I am laughingmy socks off rigth now...OMG, thankyou so much I was soo not expecting this.
I may not be able to stop laughing...well, maybe I will but right now, wow, and some other words have sprung to mind from somewhere else...but ritgh now this is too priceless to me. I am going to hold onto this for just a little while longer. If thats ok
O M G=perfect, just really perfect thankyou.
I may need some of this myself in a minute. (who said that?)
LOL
~fin
thankyou, just in case I did not possibly say it enough, thankyou
I may not be able to stop laughing...well, maybe I will but right now, wow, and some other words have sprung to mind from somewhere else...but ritgh now this is too priceless to me. I am going to hold onto this for just a little while longer. If thats ok
O M G=perfect, just really perfect thankyou.
I may need some of this myself in a minute. (who said that?)
LOL
~fin
thankyou, just in case I did not possibly say it enough, thankyou
amethist
VIP Member
Sorry another blonde joke.
Why did the blonde open the car door on the motorway ?
To let the clutch out.
These are a few of my hubby's daft sayings.
Save gas, Fart in a money box.
Please do not be upset by this next one, but it makes me giggle when i'm not expecting it
Conserve nature, Pickle a squirrel.
Keep laughing
Amethist
Why did the blonde open the car door on the motorway ?
To let the clutch out.
These are a few of my hubby's daft sayings.
Save gas, Fart in a money box.
Please do not be upset by this next one, but it makes me giggle when i'm not expecting it
Conserve nature, Pickle a squirrel.
Keep laughing
Amethist
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