List Your Joke, Funny Caption To Brighten Ptsd

[AngelaMarie]

 

[Queen Boudica]

Dear Tech support

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0 and NBA 3.0. And now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Desperate
___________________________

Dear Desperate:

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Try to enter the command: C:/ITHOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and download Tears 6.2 to install Guilt 3.0.

If all works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.

.........Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create Snoring Loudly.WAV files!

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-In-Law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.

You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.

We personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and SexyLingerie 7.7.

Good Luck,

Tech Support
___________________________

Dear dissatisfied customer,

In my advisory capacity as software watchdog for the consumer rights institute, I would like to offer the following advice:

The programme you have had problems with, Husband 1.0, has been withdrawn from retail sales due to many complaints to the advertising standards commission, on the basis that it is being sold under false pretences.

We suggest that you completely delete Husband 1.0, destroy the disc (which is usually warped), and have nothing more to do with it.

A new model, recently released by the very highly respected software company womenrule.com, marketed under the label Toyboy (vs 1-17 available) is known to wipe your memory of any previous bad experiences, prevent crashes and generally make your experience much more enjoyable. We suggest that you purchase the most recent model, anything before 1990 is likely to be unreliable and have traits of the Husband 1.0 type of programme.

We hope this advice is useful to you, please dont hesitate to contact us if you have any queries or would like further advice on how to remove Husband 1.0 from your system (It has been known to be very difficult to get rid of!).

All the best
M.E.Nout
Consumer Institute - Software & IT dept

 

[712xx]

 

[AngelaMarie]

Ok, so weird but so truly funny!!!!!:roflmao:

 

[Queen Boudica]

Quit Complaining about your job:

 

[amethist]

You tell her Edna

 

[KP the nut]

I aspire to be Edna Johnston:roflmao:

 

[712xx]

 

[Lucycat]

 

[Nicolette]

 

[amethist]

Don't Argue With The Gay Flight Attendant

My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks.

As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us "Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super."

On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed an extremely well-dressed and exotic young woman hadn't moved a muscle. "Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground."

She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a Princess and I take orders from no one."

To which the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, "Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you. Tray up, Bitch."

 

[SeekingSerenity]

Oh My!!! :cool: I just LOVE it when they get angry :laugh: