Eleanor
Diamond Member
Nothing. No one deserves to have their feelings ignored or denied. Whether they believe you or not is their business - but how they behave toward you is a matter of fact, and there are (IMHO) objective standards that apply - and they seem to be not meeting some pretty basic ones. While I can sympathize with your brother's concern - it is your wife's call - and unless you've done something in particular that threatening (and it is possible to do so in a dissociative state - my H has certainly said things and in one instance stood between me and the door that he would never do when he is himself.) then the rational conclusion to draw is that she is physically safe. Emotionally is a different story - but can be negotiated between the two of you.
Well, in your folks case - I guess they'd be afraid of being Bad Parents. Tragic really, because in order to be Good Parents at this point they'd have to admit to having been bad (or at least highly flawed) parents in the past - but they can be "apparently good parents" by merely denying everything. That's their story, and they are sticking to it. Can't be fun to be them, is what I think.
Don't give people who are committed to living in illusions a lot of power over you and your life, is my thinking. You know who the people are in your life who have a commitment to reality - keep them close.
At least you brother acknowledged that there might be a problem - maybe there is an opening there for some education. He stepped in... Between you and your wife maybe you can get him in touch with what is really happening...?
