Dom Violence Living With Someone Who Is Undiagnosed Bipolar And Intimate Rape

[Deleted member 487]

I have to correct myself. I misstated the cushing's reflex. She had elevated BP & pulse and slow breathing. My apologies.

 

[Deleted member 487]

I now realize that I made a very inappropriate statement in #12. I truly am sorry that I described what I have seen. Someone in admin PLEASE edit that out, starting at the paragraph "Do you have any idea what people like him do to their victims?"

I feel so horrible forcing onto you guys what I have seen. god I'm so sorry.

 

[Queen Boudica]

If you are in such fear that by writing on here your husband will see what you have written and the kids will be in danger, then I think you know you need to leave this man immediately. You have written that this man is violent and abusive and has raped you virtually in front of the kids. You cannot fix this man. All you can do is protect yourself and the kids.

If you are in fear of writing the truth and him seeing it and turning violent to your kids then you know you are putting them in danger by not leaving. Simple as that. Your kids witnessed him raping you. How do you think they feel about that? Do you think they would choose the expensive school or do you think maybe they would like to grow up feeling safe without having to witness this behaviour and be in fear for themselves?

 

[Queen Boudica]

@cactus_jack I don't think you did anything wrong by describing the true reality of domestic violence.

 

[NoWhereKnowWhere]

You need to leave like yesterday.

Your basically a single mother anyway. He's abusive and very unstable. What he did is unforgivable I will repeat UNFORGIVABLE.

It doesn't matter if he was unwell at the time. You need to pack your shit NOW AND GO. get out the door take the kids call the police get a restraining order go to your family. This is not your fault or your battle it doesn't matter if you still love him. You are not safe. Please please please I am begging you to go be safe get help.

 

[RussH]

@cactus_jack I too worked in public safety and saw a lot of bad things that people do to one another. You don't need to apologize for sharing what you have seen, especially when you are trying to keep another from suffering the same things.

 

[Deleted member 487]

Thank you Russ & Lizio. After I wrote it I was nearly in tears.
I remember me and the guys on the call that night, we couldn't decide the best way to torture that man. NOTHING we could imagine could equal the torture we felt he deserved. Imagine the worst torture you can think of, and odds are it's too mild.
I was a firefighter for 13-1/2 years. I can't do it anymore because, namely, instances like this. I don't wanna end up in prison.

 

[joeylittle]

feel so horrible forcing onto you guys what I have seen. god I'm so sorry.

Please, don't feel horrible. And don't consider your words as having been forced onto anyone. We are all here because we are willing to read, and we are willing to write. Battery, rape, verbal abuse - none of it is ever ok and it's important to see it for what it is.

 

[Queen Boudica]

I am betting that woman came from an abusive family where she probably watched her father be abusive to her mother. And so she accepted it as normal.

The myth that somehow the abuser can be changed. That forgiveness and understanding is all it takes. That really they love us and so we must put up with it and allow for it because they are the victims because they are mentally ill, or had such a bad childhood, or have PTSD and, can't see they are doing wrong, we provoke them, etc etc That is somehow good for the kids to be in this family where they watch the abuse and become the next generation of abused or abuser.

And the abuser continues to abuse until he maims or kills her and finally is seen for who he really is.

There is only 1 direction to go in life when you have kids and an abuser like your husband, OUT. Away.

It isn't about the pain of living with a man who only cares about his job and himself that is not what you are describing here. It is about the kids and you and how much abuse you will expose yourself and those kids to until those kids are so damaged they will end up the next generation of abused.

 

[Deleted member 487]

I pray to God that jlg does not stay with that man. I pray that she gets herself and her daughters out of there ASAP.

 

[Ellabella44]

being a child of a marriage she described. my mother leaving that was such a relief I can not tell you. walking on eggshells to not get him angry as a constant daily thing, if you are feeling it, your kids are too. one of the reasons I have this is because my father was like your husband. i see how hard it is for a single mom, but really to not have daily fear like that will do your daughters better in the long run.

 

[bluebird]

There is a story I wanted to share.

My boyfriend comes from a family, in which domestic violence occured. He told me that as a little kid, he used to be in his room, listening to his mother screaming and crying, while his father was yelling et her, beating her, raping her. He said he could hear it all, scared to death, but when her cry was no longer bearable, he ran to the bedroom and tried to protect her, to stop the abuser. Sometimes his father would stop. He is a grown up man himself now, yet the fear and helplessness is still haunting him, after all these years.

No child should ever witness something like that. I fully understand you want your daughters to have a family, but the man, who is capable of such deeds, is no longer a member of it... Your children deserve to be safe, with you. Please, let us know how are you doing. xxx