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Sufferer Lockdown has triggered my past memories again

#13
But therapy is not an option for me since I have tried to talk to psychologists and it makes my condition worse just by discussing what happened to me, so I had to close that option
I get flashbacks that my dad is doing that to me. And I keep thinking about it.
No I'm not seeing any therapist, nor is there anyone around me who I can confide in.
Hi @Gloomy , I just bunched those three things you said together. Because, even though you had your previous experience of seeing a psychologist making your symptoms worse, I wondered if now was a other time to try therapy for you?
Because what you are describing you are experiencing now is such a hard thing to do through. You're reliving your trauma. You're feeling it. It is present.
Maybe the psychologist you saw before wasn't the right one or it wasn't the right time or the right type of therapy?
Maybe having a therapist who can help manage your symptoms now rather than talking about the specifics of what happened to you might help? Just to try and stabilise you now. And help you feel safe now.

Sending you healing vibes.
It is unbearable to have flashbacks and feel like it is happening again. I'm sorry you are in that space now.
It won't always feel like this.

For me, therapy is really helping. It's not easy by any stretch of the imagination. But I couldn't carry on doing it on my own. I needed that therapeutic outlet. Helps to shift my thinking. Helps to contain me.

I hope you find an outlet that works for you and helps you with these flashbacks.
 
#14
I remember what happened to me as a child. I get flashbacks that my dad is doing that to me. And I keep thinking about it.
I cant imagine anything worse than reliving your trauma over and over. With therapists; things get worse before it gets better..
are you still having contact with your family members?
 
Thread starter #15
Hi @Gloomy , I just bunched those three things you said together. Because, even though you had your previous experience of seeing a psychologist making your symptoms worse, I wondered if now was a other time to try therapy for you?
Because what you are describing you are experiencing now is such a hard thing to do through. You're reliving your trauma. You're feeling it. It is present.
Maybe the psychologist you saw before wasn't the right one or it wasn't the right time or the right type of therapy?
Maybe having a therapist who can help manage your symptoms now rather than talking about the specifics of what happened to you might help? Just to try and stabilise you now. And help you feel safe now.

Sending you healing vibes.
It is unbearable to have flashbacks and feel like it is happening again. I'm sorry you are in that space now.
It won't always feel like this.

For me, therapy is really helping. It's not easy by any stretch of the imagination. But I couldn't carry on doing it on my own. I needed that therapeutic outlet. Helps to shift my thinking. Helps to contain me.

I hope you find an outlet that works for you and helps you with these flashbacks.
Yes, you are right. Actually I tried talking to a psychologist a few weeks ago online and that didn't work so now I think I should see someone in person. May be that will help.

I cant imagine anything worse than reliving your trauma over and over. With therapists; things get worse before it gets better..
are you still having contact with your family members?
I'm still living with my family as I'm not independent yet.
 
#16
@Gloomy - welcome to the forums.

I hear when you say that you distrust men because of your experience with your father.

However, closing off from the world, discarding the prospect of having healthy relationships with men at the age of twenty two isn't really a reasonable life position to take is it?

Especially as you say you want to deal with your trauma and you want to be able to have those trusting and healthy relationships. How can you do that if you carry around the trauma, ptsd? How can any healthy man deal with your baggage if you will not?

If one psychologist or therapist doesn't work out after a while & you do have to give them a decent time to establish whether they are capable of dealing with your problems, then look for another. Giving away the entire concept of therapy because of one or even two unsuccessful therapeutic attempts isn't going to result in you healing.

Casting away opportunities for healing and relationships doesn't add to your life. Contracting away from things doesn't take you closer to managing your ptsd.

This lock down is accentuating our vulnerabilities in many, many ways. I hope you stay safe, well and do find somebody in your real world who can help you.
 
#17
I'm still living with my family as I'm not independent yet.
Is that safe for you @Gloomy? No need to answer obviously. Don't know which relatives are in the family home with you and hope you are safe.


Re: decisions about relationships. You don't need to make a decision one way or other. It's perfectly understandable that you feel you can't trust a male given your experiences. But it doesn't mean you never will or will never want to.

First stage is just stabilising you. So hope your next exploration for a psychologist works out.
 
Thread starter #18
Is that safe for you @Gloomy? No need to answer obviously. Don't know which relatives are in the family home with you and hope you are safe.


Re: decisions about relationships. You don't need to make a decision one way or other. It's perfectly understandable that you feel you can't trust a male given your experiences. But it doesn't mean you never will or will never want to.

First stage is just stabilising you. So hope your next exploration for a psychologist works out.
Yes it is safe. But not good for my mental health. In the future when I'm more independent I'll move out God willing.

Thank you for the understanding and support.

@Gloomy - welcome to the forums.

I hear when you say that you distrust men because of your experience with your father.

However, closing off from the world, discarding the prospect of having healthy relationships with men at the age of twenty two isn't really a reasonable life position to take is it?

Especially as you say you want to deal with your trauma and you want to be able to have those trusting and healthy relationships. How can you do that if you carry around the trauma, ptsd? How can any healthy man deal with your baggage if you will not?

If one psychologist or therapist doesn't work out after a while & you do have to give them a decent time to establish whether they are capable of dealing with your problems, then look for another. Giving away the entire concept of therapy because of one or even two unsuccessful therapeutic attempts isn't going to result in you healing.

Casting away opportunities for healing and relationships doesn't add to your life. Contracting away from things doesn't take you closer to managing your ptsd.

This lock down is accentuating our vulnerabilities in many, many ways. I hope you stay safe, well and do find somebody in your real world who can help you.
You are absolutely right @blackemerald1.
I appreciate I have to deal with my thoughts and emotions and my distrust is not reasonable.
 
#19
Hello, I've experienced some hopelessness as part of lockdown, though already had felt it to various degrees prior. I don't believe I'll ever make friends or have romance again. I genuinely don't believe I will. However, logically I know that my belief is just that. It may be factually inaccurate. My circumstances could change. And there is some comfort in that logic, some comfort is looking at my belief with some perspective, because reality is there is much beyond my control. And not all the things out of my control are bad. There could be some wonderful people out there and maybe I could be in a space to meet them and maybe they could value and respect me as a person, including the disabilities I have, and they can make a safe space for me and love me. And all that's scary because it may never happen and believing it will never happen can almost be a tricky comfort as then I can mourn in advance, as hoping without having can hurt. Still, maybe someday I can be special to someone else. Maybe.
 
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