But therapy is not an option for me since I have tried to talk to psychologists and it makes my condition worse just by discussing what happened to me, so I had to close that option
I get flashbacks that my dad is doing that to me. And I keep thinking about it.
No I'm not seeing any therapist, nor is there anyone around me who I can confide in.
Because what you are describing you are experiencing now is such a hard thing to do through. You're reliving your trauma. You're feeling it. It is present.
Maybe the psychologist you saw before wasn't the right one or it wasn't the right time or the right type of therapy?
Maybe having a therapist who can help manage your symptoms now rather than talking about the specifics of what happened to you might help? Just to try and stabilise you now. And help you feel safe now.
Sending you healing vibes.
It is unbearable to have flashbacks and feel like it is happening again. I'm sorry you are in that space now.
It won't always feel like this.
For me, therapy is really helping. It's not easy by any stretch of the imagination. But I couldn't carry on doing it on my own. I needed that therapeutic outlet. Helps to shift my thinking. Helps to contain me.
I hope you find an outlet that works for you and helps you with these flashbacks.