Sufferer Lockdown has triggered my past memories again

[Gloomy]

Hello! New member here!

I was sexually abused my my father when I was a child. I suffer from PTSD and the lockdown has brought all the memories back that I'm unable to do anything now.

I'm 22 year old and I've decided I won't even marry anyone since I can't trust anyone for that purpose.

 

[ladee]

Welcome @Gloomy and I like your name. I relate. This lockdown is getting to everyone. I promise you are not alone. We have too much time to think and think and think.

Glad you are here if not glad for the reasons. Hope you find the forums a place to come to where you are heard, supported and encouraged. It does a lot of good to get things out.

Hope to see you around when you are comfortable to do so.

 

[EmmaOwl]

I'm 22 year old and I've decided I won't even marry anyone since I can't trust anyone for that purpose.

I feel similarly. I decided I could have a "weekend boyfriend" or a "weekday boyfriend" but I never trusted anyone to have a full relationship. Now, I trust no one and it's a little scary.

I'm really sorry you feel this way. It sucks to navigate the world when you distrust people that much.

 

[Gloomy]

Welcome @Gloomy and I like your name. I relate. This lockdown is getting to everyone. I promise you are not alone. We have too much time to think and think and think.

Glad you are here if not glad for the reasons. Hope you find the forums a place to come to where you are heard, supported and encouraged. It does a lot of good to get things out.

Hope to see you around when you are comfortable to do so.

Thank you for the welcome!

I feel similarly. I decided I could have a "weekend boyfriend" or a "weekday boyfriend" but I never trusted anyone to have a full relationship. Now, I trust no one and it's a little scary.

I'm really sorry you feel this way. It sucks to navigate the world when you distrust people that much.

I'm really sad to know that Allie :(
Hope you find someone whom you can trust. But I can understand how that feels and why it's difficult to trust anyone.

 

[Movingforward10]

Welcome! I'm sorry that happened to you.

 

[Anij34]

I am so sorry you experienced that. I, too, went through something by someone who was supposed to be my protector and not my perpetrator. Counseling, therapy, self-care, even meds, do what you need to begin to process through this so it no longer controls your life. There *is* healing to be found. It does not have to dictate the intimate aspects of your life and mental health. While things are locked down there is still therapy to be found via online platforms and even via the phone. Also, meds might help you through this season. It is a little mucky to go through the first part of healing (working through those really big emotions) and medications are tools to help us while we go through that season. It does not have to be lifelong.

My prayers are with you as you work toward healing. I am so glad you came here.

 

[Gloomy]

I am so sorry you experienced that. I, too, went through something by someone who was supposed to be my protector and not my perpetrator. Counseling, therapy, self-care, even meds, do what you need to begin to process through this so it no longer controls your life. There *is* healing to be found. It does not have to dictate the intimate aspects of your life and mental health. While things are locked down there is still therapy to be found via online platforms and even via the phone. Also, meds might help you through this season. It is a little mucky to go through the first part of healing (working through those really big emotions) and medications are tools to help us while we go through that season. It does not have to be lifelong.

My prayers are with you as you work toward healing. I am so glad you came here.

Thank you so much. But therapy is not an option for me since I have tried to talk to psychologists and it makes my condition worse just by discussing what happened to me, so I had to close that option :(

And I'm so sorry to know that you went through something similar :(

I was abused by my own father so now I feel all men are like that and I can't trust anyone even though I want to :(

 

[PTSDisaster]

Welcome!:)

I was also sexually abused by my father until I was 12 years old. Now I'm also 22 years old, also have been diagnosed with PTSD. I'm not struggling with memories, I don't have that many. But the past 8 months have been really tough on me. I have a boyfriend since September 2019, I've made several posts about me struggling with trusting him.

Also; not only my father sexually abused me, but several men did. The other men were strangers who assaulted me on the street when I was around 13/14 years old. Also one boyfriend when I was younger assaulted me. Because of what happened to us in the past, doesn't mean every individual is the same. This image our brain created about men, feels (in my experience) like the reality. But it's important to remind yourself it's not the reality. There are good people out there. There are lots of men who don't abuse others. We just grew up with the fact that the men close to us can't be trusted and are abusers. In fact; the most important person you need to trust in your life can't be trusted. It's completely normal to have trust issues as a result, so please don't put the blame on yourself!

I am still figuring out how I can trust my current boyfriend. I know he can be trusted, but I still can't trust him because I will make myself too vulnerable or something. It will get better, but it takes a loooong time, again; in my experience.

I don't really know how I can help you with this issue because I'm currently dealing with it as well. I do hope that you don't feel alone, that you feel heard and don't put the blame on yourself. Glad you found this site! X

 

[Gloomy]

Welcome!:)

I was also sexually abused by my father until I was 12 years old. Now I'm also 22 years old, also have been diagnosed with PTSD. I'm not struggling with memories, I don't have that many. But the past 8 months have been really tough on me. I have a boyfriend since September 2019, I've made several posts about me struggling with trusting him.

Also; not only my father sexually abused me, but several men did. The other men were strangers who assaulted me on the street when I was around 13/14 years old. Also one boyfriend when I was younger assaulted me. Because of what happened to us in the past, doesn't mean every individual is the same. This image our brain created about men, feels (in my experience) like the reality. But it's important to remind yourself it's not the reality. There are good people out there. There are lots of men who don't abuse others. We just grew up with the fact that the men close to us can't be trusted and are abusers. In fact; the most important person you need to trust in your life can't be trusted. It's completely normal to have trust issues as a result, so please don't put the blame on yourself!

I am still figuring out how I can trust my current boyfriend. I know he can be trusted, but I still can't trust him because I will make myself too vulnerable or something. It will get better, but it takes a loooong time, again; in my experience.

I don't really know how I can help you with this issue because I'm currently dealing with it as well. I do hope that you don't feel alone, that you feel heard and don't put the blame on yourself. Glad you found this site! X

Thank you :)

Dear I'm so sorry to know you've been through so much.

Thank you for writing in this thread and letting me know I'm not alone and that you understand me. So basically we both are in the same boat! Hope we both get healed from this trauma soon.

Yes I agree there are good people out there but there are also bad people and I feel it's a big risk to trust anyone. I don't want to take risks in life, basically I'm shutting all doors to protect myself from any future harm or damage.

 

[Gloomy]

I'm getting flashbacks and I can't do anything :'(

I don't want to think about it but can't stop.

 

[PTSDisaster]

Yes we are in the same boat!
Did you remember your trauma before or are these flashbacks ‘new’ images that come back to your memory??

I'm getting flashbacks and I can't do anything :'(

I don't want to think about it but can't stop.

I’m so sorry, are you seeing a therapist? Is anyone around you who you do trust like a friend or ?

 

[Gloomy]

Yes we are in the same boat!
Did you remember your trauma before or are these flashbacks ‘new’ images that come back to your memory??

I remember what happened to me as a child. I get flashbacks that my dad is doing that to me. And I keep thinking about it.

I’m so sorry, are you seeing a therapist? Is anyone around you who you do trust like a friend or ?

No I'm not seeing any therapist, nor is there anyone around me who I can confide in.