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Long-Term Therapist Skipped Town/Disappeared/No Contact

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It looks like you may not be posting anymore. In case you are reading this.

I understand how upsetting it is to lose a T. My old T left to take a medical leave just after a 3 week vacation of his. Nothing was set up for me. There was no back up therapy setup. No contact. I didn't know if he was coming back or not. I was a mess. At the same time, therapists have lives and "abandonment" takes many forms. I also had a psych nurse who suddenly left town right after I decided I could trust him. It made it hard to trust other therapists, psych staff. Unfortunately therapists are human and have lives. Sometimes things happen in their lives they can't control. Feeling abandoned is understandable and dealing with those feelings is important. But ultimately, those feelings are about you, your past trauma, and your decisions about how you are going to heal.

Support here comes in a lot of forms. One of the things people do is help others check in to see if their thoughts are distorted or not. And it's a common thing for people with PTSD to have distorted thoughts. Or to react emotionally to something and not be able to slow those emotions and think in ways that are healing. The question to ask yourself, is how do you want to heal from this. Focus on you and what you need, not what you think happened with your T.
 
Dear tool rocks....
brand new to this forum while searching online for support myself I saw your post.
not sure why so many people would inadvertently come off so callously on a forum for ptsd in response to you but it came off like that to me. Sorry you got that double whammy!

I was JUST in a similar situation like yours and it still smarts! My therapist after nearly 1.5yrs of intense therapy that I was reluctant to commit to weekly, but did upon her insistence, decided right before COVID that she was changing her policies and no longer had room for me. Boom out of the blue, without a conversation about it which they are supposed to have beforehand. I was devastated esp as the insanity of COVID came under way, I ended up really needing a therapist more than normal. When I confronted her about it she said the thing about policies and that she felt she was not effective for me. Either way, it would have been more professional had she and I talked about it in person or on phone before telling me only after I called to make an appointment; and more considerate and less harmful in the end. I told her I would have accepted it easier had we just talked about it beforehand so it wasn’t sprung on me.
I read about normal policies with counseling board and licensing that a therapist IS supposed to have several appts beforehand with the client to talk about parting ways so as NOT to cause further damage, esp to those with abandonment or trauma issues. Both of which you and I had. Thus it did damage to us more than it would have some others.

so no, you are correct in your instincts to feel/think something about this is wrong. We can have compassion for our therapists, as they are people too. But they are in a position of power that needs to be respected and not cause further damage by pulling moves like this..
establishing trust for some people is extraordinarily difficult and when it’s broken can cause serious harm. I wrote my therapist a long letter telling her both how I appreciated both her good qualities but also told her how inappropriate and harmful it was to do things this way to me. I never heard back. But it was in keeping with her behavior which was to avoid a conversation about it.

The hardest part is coming to terms with the fact that there may be nothing we can do at this point, unless you want to file a formal complaint about it otherwise finding a way to honor what you’re feeling, grieve it and then move on and find some other form of healing with someone new. I won’t lie it’s been really hard for me and the trust issues huge right now because the question in my mind is why should I trust anyone knew when they can just do the same thing and bail out on me? So this is where we need to take the lead in our own lives and find a way to continue on the path of healing, with a new therapist or a new group etc. but keep going.
 
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I am currently in a very sketchy and incredibly traumatizing situation right now. My long-term therapist, who I've been seeing twice a week for a year and a half, quit her job without notice. I found out even more disturbing details today that suggest she was planning a cross-country move weeks ago and that she just wasn't going to tell me or her other clients. No one at her job had any idea what happened to her and I thought she was deathly ill or something bad happened to her.

It started last Thursday morning. I got an email at around 8:30 am from the receptionist stating that my appointment had been cancelled and that I would need to call the office to schedule an appointment. This was odd, because usually my therapist always tells me in advance or as soon as she can when something comes up, and I get an email from her and not the office. But this time, I called the office and they told me they were instructed by the supervisor there to cancel all of her future appointments with all of her clients. The receptionist said no one told her why, but said to call back later and she would try to give me some info, because I insisted that I wanted to see the same therapist and would wait if she was on leave.

Later that day, I called the receptionist to see if she had an update on the situation. She said she texted my therapist who told her that she was on extended leave for a ''personal matter'' that was ''unavoidable''. The receptionist told me that she could go ahead and schedule me with a different therapist there since they didn't know when my therapist would be returning to the office. I said I would wait, but the receptionist insisted she would reschedule. I called the following morning to tell her I had given it some thought and to cancel the appointment with the new therapist, and that I would be willing to wait as long as needed for my therapist to return to work since I have been seeing her so' long and since we work so well together. The receptionist then said ''we don't think she's coming back''. I said, "how would you know she isn't coming back if she's on leave"? Then she said "we just don't think she will be coming back." She said my therapist no longer had access to company email account so I couldn't contact her for a termination session of any kind, and when I asked if she could reach out to her on my behalf to see where she will be practicing, the receptionist said no.

Initially, I thought my therapist had been fired due to a meeting we discussed that was to take place the day before with her supervisor. She had weekly supervision meetings, and there was a neuropsychologist at the practice who was very strict on ADHD assessments because she thought it was over diagnosed, which meant me and hundreds of other clients of my therapist and other therapists there were unable to get assessments for ADHD, because the one neuropsychologist there was over all of the other nurse practitioners who prescribed meds for it and this one lady did all the assessments, so she used that to block people from getting assessments. They had like 1 ADHD assessment they were able to get through in 1 year and all the other clients got rejected by this lady for assessments, including me, even though I've dropped out of college 7 times due to ADHD relevant symptoms and was trying to get through this semester without failing. I told my therapist I wanted to try and get an assessment again, and she said she would bring it up with her supervisor that Wednesday at their weekly supervision meeting to see if there was any way around the neuropsychologist there blocking everyone from getting assessments. I told her I would send her an outline of parts of the Code of Ethics that lady broke when she blocked me from getting an assessment in case she needed it for her meeting with her supervisor. Then, I woke up the next day, Thursday, and they were cancelling all of my therapist's future appointments. So naturally, I thought they saw her as a threat for trying to report the neuropsychologist and possibly fired her.

I knew that regardless of what happened I wanted to continue working with her as a client, so I reached out to one of her colleagues since they closed her company email after she left. I told her colleague I was concerned about how abrupt things ended and that my therapist and I had both agreed to see each other long-term until I graduated college and had a good career lined up, so it was very alarming when suddenly she was gone and wanted to see if she could reach out to her and let her know I'm still interested in being a client when she is practicing again. I did this also because I read about non-compete clauses and non-solicitation agreements, and read that the client would need to contact the therapist first and that a therapist leaving a practice was not allowed to tell clients where they were going or they could get sued. So I thought the reason for my therapist not reaching out after she disappeared was because legally she was not allowed to. The colleague I decided to reach out to was the one that actually referred me to her, and I knew they were close, so it seemed like a decent option and at the time my only means of contact left.

Her colleague seemed to reach out to her based on the email response I got back, where her colleague told me

"She is not the type of person to abandon her clients. I can assure you, she would reach out if she could right now. That, of course, does not mean she will never reach out again. Just that right now she is unable to. She cares deeply for her clients. I know when she can she will reach out to you. I can see you feel very concerned and out of control with this situation. You both had a great connection and that is hard to find. I do want to encourage you to find someone else to fill the place in the meantime, and I know that it would be a good idea for you to continue seeing someone in the area. I really do wish I had more to tell you. Know that she still cares about you and will reach out when possible. Just focus on finding someone to fill the space in the meantime, knowing that she is doing what she can on her end."

So, that response kind of reaffirmed my suspicion about a non-compete clause and non-solicitation agreement maybe being why she hasn't contacted me or didn't tell me. But it still didn't add up completely, because my therapist had always reassured me that no matter what she would never abandon me, and if she were to ever leave she would bring me with her as a client. She wasn't going anywhere, she would say, she was going to see me through college and after. Any time she was even a few minutes late she always let me know when something was up. Something told me to look into this more because no one was really giving me any kind of an answer on what really happened.

I did a background check to see if something had happened to her, checked court records, checked to see if her license had been suspended, etc. On the background check I found out she had been evicted from an apartment like 10 years ago, but something told me to look at the reviews for that apartment. I looked at the Google reviews, and sure enough there was a review posted by a Google account with the first initial of her name and no profile picture that posted a 1 star review a year ago. Didn't think it would be relevant since she was evicted nearly 10 years ago from there, but looked at the other contributions for that Google account, which included details about her and her writing style in the reviews that were almost dead on for the writing style she used in all of her emails to me. There was a review posted 2 weeks ago for a Mattress Firm in the city she moved to this town from, stating that she has a ''cross-country move coming up and wanted to have her bedding shipped at a later date and was glad they could help." So it is starting to seem and feel like she just decided to skip town without telling any of her clients or anyone at her job. She was acting normal at our last session and seemed to have things planned ahead for the company there, she mentioned a conference they were having the following week, so her suddenly leaving her job seems strange. Also because she has always told me she is a complete homebody and never leaves her house, she has been with the company for 6 years and loves it, and they let her work from home.

Which of the two scenarios seems more likely, that she was fired after trying to report the neuropsychologist or that she left town without telling her clients for a planned cross-country move based on the Google review with her initials and writing style? I'm in shock that she wasn't willing to contact me and give me at least some kind of any apology, because she has been trying to build trust with me over time and work on trauma with me, she knows most of my C-PTSD is from betrayal, abandonment, and abuse from other people, so it seems very twisted that she would do this on purpose or carelessly without any concern of how it would damage me. The receptionist just told me that my therapist told her to "tell all my clients I'm truly sorry", but that doesn't seem like her at all, because she always reaches out personally when something happens and gives details. Also, please don't suggest I see someone else because I am VERY traumatized by this situation. What do you make of this mess?
Hi there. First I’m so sorry this happened to you. It’s our deepest fear as a patient that either our therapist doesn’t care OR that they ABANDON us. You were emotionally abandoned. Period. It doesn’t matter wth her reason is. You simply don’t abandon a client. From a professional/personal perspective since therapy is personal and not just a professional relationship. A therapist can’t meet all our needs - we have to meet all of our own needs.

It probably has 0 to do with you though. You are just a patient among her other 40 patients (40 hours/week) . You’re not special. Although we all feel special if we have a kind, considerate and compassionate therapist. It’s usually the internal workings of an “institution” that’s the problem. People in private practice don’t abandon their patients. But more so in institutional settings where there is a high turnover. Better work environment, better pay and etc. Your logic makes sense but it can’t be true as the situations isn’t about you. You wouldn’t be the first or last to complain about their practices in limiting patients access to addictive or scheduled meds. The government is demanding dr do so so the government is in on it. Anyway my point is that it sounds like she got fired. They can’t and won’t tell you obviously - you can’t say officially that someone was fired or let go cause it opens up lawsuits and violates her rights. Or she quit. Maybe they asked her to do something she didn’t want to, agree with or feel ethically appropriate. She may have gotten a better job elsewhere etc. Sounds like she was fired since it was sudden. No therapist purposely abandons their patients unless something happened that is “legal” in nature like a “firing”. My therapist had a heart attack and they told me so. She obviously has access to your # and email. The institution would hold her accountable if she reached out to you AFTER being terminated. She didn’t know she was gonna be fired or was gonna quit so she can’t do let you know beforehand. The reason institutions treat you like a child/mental patient is mainly cause they really don’t care. They don’t benefit in ANY way by telling you the truth. And in the case where she was fired it’s a liability issue. If she reaches out she’s liable if your hurt yourself - her license and they’re liable. Also, since the institution doesn’t care about you personally (your therapist does tho!) they treat you like a child (last to know). They leave it up to a secretary to tell you such devastating news. This is their MO btw to let the lowest rung on the totem pole break the news cause a secretly isn’t liable since she has no professional license. The other therapist you contacted is also bound by their rules. They are all emotionally abusive. Don’t let them be in charge of your mental Heath. They’re way to manipulate you is to shove another therapist down your throat. Also institutions regularly employ counselors and therapists without a PhD. They can’t afford to hire a PhD. “Psychologist” is a protected term. Clinicians, social workers etc are fine but don’t expect the therapists you see in movies. No one can guarantee future treatment. Such is life. Her mom AND dad or her whole family could have died and she herself had a breakdown. Seek out a new therapist but a private one - not someone who works at a facility or institution. If she moved across country she would have to get a license in the new state if she wants to practice so check every state government licensing cross country for professional licenses. And google. No amount of your time, energy or reasoning/logic will bring her back. Why they don’t jus say that (instead they lie) idk. I guess cause they don’t care - at all. They view all of their patients as cuckoo. Sad. The individual therapists care but not their management. Don’t wait to seek therapy until you are in a bad state tho. Find a therapist and explain what you can or can’t pay as they all have a sliding scale. I’ve been in traumatizing situations caused by therapists but mostly institutions who don’t care enough to talk to you like an adult or even a human being. If you hurt yourself - well they don’t care. You could waste your time filing a complaint about the institution or facility but it won’t get you anywhere. Don’t exhaust yourself. They are protected since they can’t control the future/employeees/etc. They don’t want you to ask the doctor for a way to contact them either for further treatment or in the case where a patient gets obsessive with the provider so they don’t allow goodbyes. This is general info not meant to hurt or trigger you.l, dons some support groups - that’s the most helpful (to hear someone else’s story) to me. Some patients can’t handle goodbyes so institutions don’t let you have the option. So many reasons but none of them are personal to you. She could have also had a personal crisis like she was “assaulted” - they’re not gonna tell you obviously. Sometimes as patients, well we can’t handle the truth.

My advice as a fellow patient:

1 Don’t go back to the place that hurt you to find a solution (unless you have no other options or resources) and ask for the most caring or most credentialed therapist (whatever matters most to you is what you should ask for, maybe someone who is close to you in age)

2 if you do go back, know that every situation in therapy isn’t forever and there’s no guarantees (anyone who tell you this is lying unless they are in private practice and can control who they treat)

* I think doctors have a backup person in place in case of death, accident etc but not positive. I haven’t asked my therapist…yet.

3 the institution/facility etc wants to let you exhaust yourself and at some point you will move on either with them or with another therapist there or outside of their practice. Uhm they don’t care. They ONLY care about is billing your insurance and you don’t hurt yourself but even if you do they don’t care since it doesn’t reflect bad on them - they just think it’s YOU. The way people treat us as children and again as adults is what leads to suicide but these institutions are experts at billing - not psychology.

4 they are using the pull off the bandaid method and let you bleed till your emotions clot. Instead of having a real therapist at least check in and explain and make sure you ok and help you manage your care (internal or external referral) they have a SECRETARY manage you?! I’m not knocking secretaries as they seem kinder than the “drs” in charge. But do you want a secretary managing your mental health or a professional? Since they can’t bill you for talking to the other therapist who has to see patients and earn his/her/their keep they have the secretary do it.

5 universities offer therapy with PhD students at a nominal fee but therapy with any student would be temporary since they potentially move once they graduate

* even though it would hurt a bit, wouldn’t you rather know the truth that she was fired or maybe even went to jail etc but why bother teaching you and treating you in a MENTALLY HEALTHY way? These facility’s have therapists to treat you well and they turn around and treat you like crap. Which is why you went there in the first place (your mom and the pattern probably repeated with others).

6 let your mind rest

7 take care of yourself physically so you’re able to manage your mental health

8 find a new therapist BEFORE you need one so that you can carefully select on as opposed to being in a crisis where you can’t make the best decisions for yourself

9 most drs won’t prescribe ADHD medications to new patients as the government is holding them accountable not just for suicide but for addiction. So even if you were on them they won’t gonna continue. You may find someone who is willing to help ween you off them. If medication is a concern you should be clear with the new provider from the get go instead of wasting your time and money. Also, asking for medication up front may be viewed as “drug seeking behavior” so it’s a double edged sword.

I’m sorry you went through something that was so obviously avoidable. Beware of any facility/institution setting. They are just a factory and you’re the product. They have a therapist who disappears, a dr who plays god, another therapist who plays good cop and a secretary to manages your care - sounds like an ASSEMBLY LINE to me. Let a new therapist know you were just abandoned. Even if you’re theory is right that she suddenly became a different person (uncaring) and planned to screw over her entire patient load - it still doesn’t matter cause if that’s true you wouldn’t want to see her again anyway. You need closure however but you won’t get in from them (I’ll safely assume you won’t get it from her since you know she moved across the country). Maybe she wanted to give her patients closure and they didn’t wanna deal with the emotional fallout so they accepted her resignation.

I wish you good luck and good health!
 
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1) Radical acceptance

2) please learn to abide by professional boundaries

3) as much as this sucks, I think it’s an important lesson in not getting so attached to professional help. At the end of the day, there are no guarantees, and you still pay for their help one hour at a time.
I really don like it when people throw out psychology terms like this person who is a human being just has to say “uh ok I radically accept this, next”. Honovwrly simplistic - thats didn’t help them at all. All they want is a simple explanation, validation and compassion. Having the rug pulled out from under you when this could be the only person who they trusted (they sound young) can’t be easy.

What an invalidating thing to say. I came on here to get support. This would be a distressing situation for anyone. I thought joining a PTSD forum would be helpful but clearly this one is incredibly toxic since at this point I've only had a couple of responses that were actually courteous. How about I tell you to go and face your biggest trigger right now and then if you don't I'll say ''that's a cognitive distortion''. Just because you're able to go to therapy and you didn't have to go through what I did doesn't mean it's the same situation for me or that you are in any place to judge.
You’re right but the people on this forum sound triggered. They were dismissed so in turn all they know is to dismiss you. Do what’s right for you! I hope my other very long post helps you…
You won’t want to go to therapy whihc is understandable but you may keep this suggestion in mind - to just go to a few sessions to help deal with this in short term. Hold off on long term therapy. Just an added thought. Trying hard to be kind, compassionate and caring. Sometimes we just need that to get us back on track and validate us.
 
Looks like the OP is not reading anymore, but I still want to respond to a couple of things.

I am very sorry this happened. I had something similar happen to me, and I know how bad it can feel. How it feels like you've been betrayed and will never be able to trust again. I think that's a normal reaction. But it's one that will pass.

my therapist had always reassured me that no matter what she would never abandon me
I had two tell me this. It's an unfortunate statement, since none of us can predict what tomorrow will bring. What if she died? Or got very, very sick and couldn't be in contact? Or experienced some traumatic event that left her unable to communicate or work? Therapists can't - and shouldn't - promise to always be there, because as human beings, they simply can't guarantee that.

I know that doesn't help now, after the fact, but it might help to realize that. I think my therapists did not *intend* to hurt me, that what they said they said in good faith.
What happened to me is more trauma on top of the trauma I already have. I'm not going to retraumatize myself by putting myself in a situation where another therapist will eventually also abandon me and do the same thing.
This sounds very familiar to me. I felt the same way after both of my therapists disappeared. I know it sounds rough to have someone tell you it is a "cognitive distortion" - and probably a little insensitive - but the really great thing about this forum is that the folks here have all been there, and some are farther along in their knowledge and healing. If you can stick with it, you'll come to see that (most) of what people offer is drawn from a wealth of knowledge.

Those of us with PTSD tend to think that all that bad stuff that happened will be repeated. That if one person abandoned or abused us, they all will. It's just not true. There are people out there who are different. It takes a long while to understand that, though.
What an invalidating thing to say. I came on here to get support. This would be a distressing situation for anyone.
I don't think anyone is invalidating what you feel or what you experienced. People here have been through the worst of the worst. They get it.
It doesn’t matter wth her reason is. You simply don’t abandon a client.
As I said above, there is no guarantee that any of us will even be here tomorrow. While it certainly would be unprofessional to abandon a client in most circumstances, some things just happen. It doesn't make it any less distressing for us, but it helps to realize that there are no guarantees in life.
people on this forum sound triggered. They were dismissed so in turn all they know is to dismiss you
I don't know what was said that you interpreted as dismissive. One thing about this forum is that people are upfront and honest. Sometimes that comes off as abrupt and rude (and sometimes it is, but it's not meant that way). Sometimes people could work on their delivery, admittedly. This forum is different from many others, in that people help each other work through stuff, and with something like PTSD, that's going to be uncomfortable. It is supportive, but not always in that cuddly-feely kind of way. That's hard for some people, because they may not be used to the direct conversation about stuff we just normally don't talk about.

Everyone here has PTSD (or is the supporter of someone with PTSD). Everyone here has their issues. But everyone that I've seen has offered knowledge and support to the best of their abilities. And I think these are important points to consider.
 
Why is anything I post being edited?
 
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I am currently in a very sketchy and incredibly traumatizing situation right now. My long-term therapist, who I've been seeing twice a week for a year and a half, quit her job without notice. I found out even more disturbing details today that suggest she was planning a cross-country move weeks ago and that she just wasn't going to tell me or her other clients. No one at her job had any idea what happened to her and I thought she was deathly ill or something bad happened to her.

It started last Thursday morning. I got an email at around 8:30 am from the receptionist stating that my appointment had been cancelled and that I would need to call the office to schedule an appointment. This was odd, because usually my therapist always tells me in advance or as soon as she can when something comes up, and I get an email from her and not the office. But this time, I called the office and they told me they were instructed by the supervisor there to cancel all of her future appointments with all of her clients. The receptionist said no one told her why, but said to call back later and she would try to give me some info, because I insisted that I wanted to see the same therapist and would wait if she was on leave.

Later that day, I called the receptionist to see if she had an update on the situation. She said she texted my therapist who told her that she was on extended leave for a ''personal matter'' that was ''unavoidable''. The receptionist told me that she could go ahead and schedule me with a different therapist there since they didn't know when my therapist would be returning to the office. I said I would wait, but the receptionist insisted she would reschedule. I called the following morning to tell her I had given it some thought and to cancel the appointment with the new therapist, and that I would be willing to wait as long as needed for my therapist to return to work since I have been seeing her so' long and since we work so well together. The receptionist then said ''we don't think she's coming back''. I said, "how would you know she isn't coming back if she's on leave"? Then she said "we just don't think she will be coming back." She said my therapist no longer had access to company email account so I couldn't contact her for a termination session of any kind, and when I asked if she could reach out to her on my behalf to see where she will be practicing, the receptionist said no.

Initially, I thought my therapist had been fired due to a meeting we discussed that was to take place the day before with her supervisor. She had weekly supervision meetings, and there was a neuropsychologist at the practice who was very strict on ADHD assessments because she thought it was over diagnosed, which meant me and hundreds of other clients of my therapist and other therapists there were unable to get assessments for ADHD, because the one neuropsychologist there was over all of the other nurse practitioners who prescribed meds for it and this one lady did all the assessments, so she used that to block people from getting assessments. They had like 1 ADHD assessment they were able to get through in 1 year and all the other clients got rejected by this lady for assessments, including me, even though I've dropped out of college 7 times due to ADHD relevant symptoms and was trying to get through this semester without failing. I told my therapist I wanted to try and get an assessment again, and she said she would bring it up with her supervisor that Wednesday at their weekly supervision meeting to see if there was any way around the neuropsychologist there blocking everyone from getting assessments. I told her I would send her an outline of parts of the Code of Ethics that lady broke when she blocked me from getting an assessment in case she needed it for her meeting with her supervisor. Then, I woke up the next day, Thursday, and they were cancelling all of my therapist's future appointments. So naturally, I thought they saw her as a threat for trying to report the neuropsychologist and possibly fired her.

I knew that regardless of what happened I wanted to continue working with her as a client, so I reached out to one of her colleagues since they closed her company email after she left. I told her colleague I was concerned about how abrupt things ended and that my therapist and I had both agreed to see each other long-term until I graduated college and had a good career lined up, so it was very alarming when suddenly she was gone and wanted to see if she could reach out to her and let her know I'm still interested in being a client when she is practicing again. I did this also because I read about non-compete clauses and non-solicitation agreements, and read that the client would need to contact the therapist first and that a therapist leaving a practice was not allowed to tell clients where they were going or they could get sued. So I thought the reason for my therapist not reaching out after she disappeared was because legally she was not allowed to. The colleague I decided to reach out to was the one that actually referred me to her, and I knew they were close, so it seemed like a decent option and at the time my only means of contact left.

Her colleague seemed to reach out to her based on the email response I got back, where her colleague told me

"She is not the type of person to abandon her clients. I can assure you, she would reach out if she could right now. That, of course, does not mean she will never reach out again. Just that right now she is unable to. She cares deeply for her clients. I know when she can she will reach out to you. I can see you feel very concerned and out of control with this situation. You both had a great connection and that is hard to find. I do want to encourage you to find someone else to fill the place in the meantime, and I know that it would be a good idea for you to continue seeing someone in the area. I really do wish I had more to tell you. Know that she still cares about you and will reach out when possible. Just focus on finding someone to fill the space in the meantime, knowing that she is doing what she can on her end."

So, that response kind of reaffirmed my suspicion about a non-compete clause and non-solicitation agreement maybe being why she hasn't contacted me or didn't tell me. But it still didn't add up completely, because my therapist had always reassured me that no matter what she would never abandon me, and if she were to ever leave she would bring me with her as a client. She wasn't going anywhere, she would say, she was going to see me through college and after. Any time she was even a few minutes late she always let me know when something was up. Something told me to look into this more because no one was really giving me any kind of an answer on what really happened.

I did a background check to see if something had happened to her, checked court records, checked to see if her license had been suspended, etc. On the background check I found out she had been evicted from an apartment like 10 years ago, but something told me to look at the reviews for that apartment. I looked at the Google reviews, and sure enough there was a review posted by a Google account with the first initial of her name and no profile picture that posted a 1 star review a year ago. Didn't think it would be relevant since she was evicted nearly 10 years ago from there, but looked at the other contributions for that Google account, which included details about her and her writing style in the reviews that were almost dead on for the writing style she used in all of her emails to me. There was a review posted 2 weeks ago for a Mattress Firm in the city she moved to this town from, stating that she has a ''cross-country move coming up and wanted to have her bedding shipped at a later date and was glad they could help." So it is starting to seem and feel like she just decided to skip town without telling any of her clients or anyone at her job. She was acting normal at our last session and seemed to have things planned ahead for the company there, she mentioned a conference they were having the following week, so her suddenly leaving her job seems strange. Also because she has always told me she is a complete homebody and never leaves her house, she has been with the company for 6 years and loves it, and they let her work from home.

Which of the two scenarios seems more likely, that she was fired after trying to report the neuropsychologist or that she left town without telling her clients for a planned cross-country move based on the Google review with her initials and writing style? I'm in shock that she wasn't willing to contact me and give me at least some kind of any apology, because she has been trying to build trust with me over time and work on trauma with me, she knows most of my C-PTSD is from betrayal, abandonment, and abuse from other people, so it seems very twisted that she would do this on purpose or carelessly without any concern of how it would damage me. The receptionist just told me that my therapist told her to "tell all my clients I'm truly sorry", but that doesn't seem like her at all, because she always reaches out personally when something happens and gives details. Also, please don't suggest I see someone else because I am VERY traumatized by this situation. What do you make of this mess?
Yeah....consider burnout, alcholism/narcotics issues or treatment, a death in the family, /victimization/rape/trauma/cancer/death, a law suit or settlement......if she did you no harm, and you have options for a T, I'd let this one go.......because anyone's guess is as good as yours. If she did you no harm, be grateful she was there for you...and move on.
 
(Sorry…I wrote a reply to this and then realized it was May, 2021. 🤦🏼‍♀️)

@toolrocks242352 - I am so sorry you are going through this. It is absolutely not fair or okay what she did to you. That is the definition of abandonment. Unless she is dead (which obviously she’s not) she has a responsibility to let, not only you, but all of her clients know what happened. She doesn’t need to give details but you deserve answers.

IMO - Radical acceptance is not the answer. I also don’t think you crossed any ‘professional boundaries’. I would have done the exact same things you did. (Technically I am a detective of sorts, so it’s what I do anyway!) Reading this actually gave me enough anxiety that I just reached out to my T. (Yes at almost 3am! I see her online so in addition to video sessions, we message daily and I can send her my thoughts anytime I want/need to.) I didn’t copy your post but I told her the situation in detail. I said, “If you ever do this to me, if you ever just disappear, I would hunt you down!” And I would. (Thankfully she is very open with me and she gives me details of things going on with her - especially if it will affect me.)

I sincerely hope she reaches out to you soon. I hope you can resume therapy with her when she gets settled. You deserve a safe place/relationship. It will probably take a while to rebuild trust with her and process all of this. If I were you I would start keeping a journal of all your feelings/thoughts about this.

If you ever need to talk, I am here. Take care of yourself. 🙂
 
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