I'm not saying that seeing your therapist is a type of OCD. I'm only using it as analogy because concerning the brain there are "similarities" between OCD and needing your therapist. In overcoming OCD, you get to the point were you do the opposite of what OCD tells you to do. For example, if you have a phobia of bridges and you never purposefully push yourself (with small steps in a controlled way) you will never learn you can go over bridges. Not only that, the more you AVOID going over the bridge the stronger the fear and panic become. Same thing with hand washing or door "checking". You need to tolerate the "feeling" you have when you do the thing you don't want to do or that you are terrorized of doing just thinking about. It's the fear of the "feeling" that is the real fear, not the actually act of doing it. So the many "check ins" with the therapist, the many appointments per week may actually make the need for the therapist and the helplessness stronger. So you could try going from 4 times a week, down to 3, down to two 2 to 1 to eventually once a month. You learn that you really can survive and make it through the day without contact with the therapist. You begin to learn that you can make through the week afterall. I'm not saying it's easy and I'm not saying it's not painful. Yet, when you learn you can live through the withdrawal symptoms of the "high" of being with your therapist, your brain starts to perk up and come alive with the rest of the world. Though the "learned helplessness" will tell you that being helpless is much more appealing, the freedom and life awakening feelings are actually superior. Yet we never learn that because we are trapped in this cycle of want and need of the therapist. We have a belief we aren't worth it. So we need to move in a direction that begins to agree with the truth: you are worth it. A suggestion I have, is keep your long term therapist, too, if they will allow it. Keep her for once a week as a support person. Not to talk about the abuse, but about goals for you. She can be a cheerleader for you. Ask her to be your support person as you try something else with the oversight of the Psychiatrist. If she is unwilling, I would question that. Perhaps you are daily dealing with suicidal thoughts? Maybe your therapist is really worried about you hurting yourself, and maybe if she knew that you can tolerate those feelings and deal with them and not hurt yourself, she would have less fear in you moving forward with a trauma focused therapist. Also, see if your psychiatrist has a recommendation. Lots of people say they are trauma specialists and they have no idea what they are doing. Best Wishes.
