Supporter Looking For Help To Help Me Support My Vet

[LoveMyIraqiWarVet]

Hi all. I turned to this website because I feel as if I have no one to talk to. My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 months, and while I know that may not seem like a lot of time, he is my forever after.

People always say that I'm just love drunk, but the truth is, I know that he is that person for me because I am willing to help him. He has PTSD from Iraq and previous childhood abuse. The man I fell in love with is the most wonderful man in the world, kind, sweet, family man who is straight laced and serious about our future.

He told me about his PTSD and for the first 4 months it wasn't a problem. We were inseperable and he gave me the love and devotion I have always wanted in a partner. But he began a stressful job a few months ago and his PTSD is now in full force. I feel like I dont even know him anymore, except when, on now, rare occasions, his old self "visits". But now these visits are becoming few and far between and he is withdrawn, depressed, emotionally numb, irritable, and downright mean.

Some days he wants help, others he doesn't and I just don't know what to do. The man I fell in love with is now unrecognizable to me, and I want him back!!! Not just for me, but for his kids and himself as well. He would do the world a great injustice if his real self were gone, and I just don't know what to do anymore.

I feel like I have to walk on eggshells everyday just so he doesn't get upset and close off any simelance of emotion that he has left. Please Help!!! I'm hoping that I will be understood here since no one else does, everyone thinks it is as simple as he is an asshole, leave him. I know the real him and I want to help him get that person back.

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[Kaii]

I have had PTSD for a year and a half now. I have changed so much in that time period. I have gone from a funny, lighthearted person to a jaded, sarcastic, VERY serious one.

PTSD changes you on a core level. I dont think that I will ever be the same way again. I wish I was the "old me" again for my family's sake, but this is who I am now. I cannot help it. The trauma I have been exposed to has changed my perception of the world and the people in it.

You are a brave girl. I see the kind of insanity I have put my boyfriend through since my diagnosis and it's a miracle that he can just let it roll off his back the way he does. I would of blown a gasket ages ago but he is so calm about everything. He is my rock. I thank god for having him in my life.

 

[LoveMyIraqiWarVet]

I am so thankful i have found this website. That reply alone has really helped me. He and I met after his diagnosis, but his new job has triggered it to rear its ugly head. I hope he feels this way about me, and I'm sure he does, I just wish he could say it.

Unfortunately, emotional numbness is one of the main symptoms he has. He has tried to leave me because he feels like he is "sucking the life out of me" and "can't stand to see me cry another day over something he did or said". But I told him I won't turn my back on him, like everyone else has, it is affecting me emotionally, but I feel that it will pay off someday.

I am trying to get him to counciling which is seeming to be a very uphill battle. Somedays he wants it, others he doesn't. Today was probably one of his worst days, but yesterday was one of the best in awile. But I still love him today just like yesterday, just needed an extra cigarette or 2 lol.

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[Lady of Longbourn]

Welcome to the forum. :)

You can find lots of supportive helpful people here on the forum, if you use it right.

I would start by reading in the supporters section. Here are some good threads and a good place to start in your journey:

[DLMURL]https://www.ptsdforum.org/c/threads/it-takes-more-than-love.9032/[/DLMURL]

[DLMURL]https://www.ptsdforum.org/c/threads/the-price-of-ptsd-on-relationships.4292/[/DLMURL]

Take care.