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- #13
Eleanor
Diamond Member
In defense of behaviorist training, I'd say that for very small children it is a pretty good model. Not the blanket use of abandonment as negative reinforcement, but the general approach. I "trained" my daughter to stay away from electric outlets when she was just crawling in about ten minutes. Never a problem after. In general, one wants to use positive reinforcement to habituate good behavior, and the best way to extinguish a bad behavior is to "put it on command" - so train to do the behavior on command - (which means they do a bunch more of it for a while and you reward them for it) and then... gradually stop asking for it.
I didn't read far enough to get the understanding how kids react. "Talking so your kids will listen" seems like just the ticket tho.
I need a "kid whisperer!"
Here is an example of what gets me totally confused. Language is performative until like... second grade. And even once they've gotten that specific words refer to particular things or sets of things, and that syntax matters to meaning, they STILL do language as performance. Last night L and I were doing a puzzle before bed, and she was just... saying stuff. I said, do you know what any of that means? And she said, "No." I said, so you are just saying it because it is fun to talk like that? and she said "yes." Sigh. How do I know when she knows what she is saying and when she is just... repeating stuff?
And she fakes understanding. She acts like she understands and then later says, "You were talking grown up talk, and I don't understand that." :banghead::banghead::banghead::banghead::facepalm::shifty:
I didn't read far enough to get the understanding how kids react. "Talking so your kids will listen" seems like just the ticket tho.
I need a "kid whisperer!"
Here is an example of what gets me totally confused. Language is performative until like... second grade. And even once they've gotten that specific words refer to particular things or sets of things, and that syntax matters to meaning, they STILL do language as performance. Last night L and I were doing a puzzle before bed, and she was just... saying stuff. I said, do you know what any of that means? And she said, "No." I said, so you are just saying it because it is fun to talk like that? and she said "yes." Sigh. How do I know when she knows what she is saying and when she is just... repeating stuff?
And she fakes understanding. She acts like she understands and then later says, "You were talking grown up talk, and I don't understand that." :banghead::banghead::banghead::banghead::facepalm::shifty:
