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Losing A Baby

  • Post starter Post starter lostgirl143
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lostgirl143

I'm 18 years old and about a year ago I found out I was pregnant. I told my boyfriend and eventually we decided to keep the Baby. He promised her be there for me and our baby. But he never went to a single doctors appointment, he never called to check on me. He was always out partying with his friends. My parents were also really abusive at the time as well. So all the stress and everything wasn't good for me or the baby. I had just found out I was having a girl About a week and a half before I got sick...really sick...my blood pressure was too high, my immune system was too low, Eventually I was told it was going to be medically unsafe to carry to full term. It's was my life and the baby's on the line. My boyfriend told me to get the late term abortion so he wouldn't lose us both...so at 4 months pregnant I lost my baby girl....after that I got depressed and started cutting and drinking...I had to start school in a few weeks prior too...the whole school knew I was pregnant at the end of the previous year...so that was a terrible first day when I had to explain to everyone why I didn't have a big belly...3 months passed and I barely saw my boyfriend. I only got texts. One day I got a lift from a friend to his house because I had to see him. When his mom let me in, I saw him come down the stairs with another girl following him. Turns out he was cheating on me the whole time I was pregnant. Then even a year later, a few days ago, I get a text message from him saying "I miss you and I always loved you. And that I was wondering if there was even a small chance that you would take me back" I told him no that there was no way in hell that I would ever get back with you after all the shit you put me through. Then he replies "what the duck ever stupid bitch. Who and btw I never did believe you were pregnant in the first place" and now I keep having flashbacks to when I lost the baby and im having nightmares about running into him in public....
 
I also got very ill while pregnant with my son, and lost him. The man also turned into a complete a** hole when he found out I was pregnant.

I applaud you for setting a really important boundary, and kicking his ass to the curb. If he wasn't there for you when you were pregnant, wasn't there for you when you were ill, and wasn't there for you when you lost the baby, he will never be there.

I'm sorry for the loss of your daughter. Feeling her move, hearing her heartbeat... those are special things shared just between you and her.
 
:hug: ((( lostgirl143))) :hug: (Gentle hugs)
I am SORRY for your loss, and for having to hear your ex being such a HUGE jerk, and that's putting it nicely...

Try to give yourself mercy, kindness, and get into some counseling? This is an important issue to work on, so it it worth finding good support! It sounds like your parents aren't available for comfort.

Losing a child is the worst thing that can happen to a mother, and though you never knew her, she WAS your baby. You could even choose to name her. Honor your feelings, and let yourself grieve for your loss. I have lost a child, so I understand that it is going to take a long time to heal.

Grief has "stages" and everyone is different in how long it will take. We don't "get over" it, but eventually, we find "a place" in our hearts to allow acceptance. I know that it is hard to imagine that now. It WILL take time and there is no way around it.

Drinking, doing drugs, (I smoked pot like crazy), cutting, (I have self-injured) and other self-destructive acts cause numbness, but not healing. You did the best that you could in the situation you were in.

I think one of the hardest things, will be the people who will say really stupid things, out of not understanding how long it is taking, or other things, trying to "help", but really hurt.

Please feel free to message me anytime... I can listen, and not brush away your pain. You have a right to EVERY feeling, no matter what or when.

PRAYERS & BLESSINGS to you!
:hug: AKJ :hug:
 
I am sorry.... I didn't mean to choose
"anonymous". You can't private message me if you don't know who I am. Duh...

I am AngelkeeperJ/AKJ
 
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