Losing It

[Ariane]

I'm already having a hard time falling asleep and staying asleep. And then I keep getting these nightmares and this last one really got to me and I don't know why and now I don't feel safe in my bedroom. In the dream, I'm changing the station on my radio and it's dark in my room, but with a blue tint because of my lava lamp. Then I go over to my door because I hear something but it's just the wash going. And then I take a couple steps away from the door and it slams open and someone grabs me from behind and starts squeezing me but not in a comforting or familiar way and I'm screaming. I woke up. But God, the amount of fear I felt in that moment felt so much longer than the dream itself. I'm terrified and I've got work in two hours with barely any sleep in me. Coffee it is.

 

[hodge]

I have the same sleep problems, getting to sleep, staying asleep, and nightmares. There are two blood pressure meds I know of to help with nightmares -- Prasozin and Clonidine. Both of them work until you wake up. Yeah, that's the tricky part. My psychiatrist also recently gave me samples of Belsomra, a new Rx sleep aid that he says works differently from all the others as it acts on the inner brain rather than the outer (sorry, can't remember which part). I've tried up to 20 mg of that and it helped me sleep for an hour or so. I have 30 mg samples, too, but haven't tried one yet. I got scared of it because one night I took it and forgot to take my Clonidine and I had one of the worst nightmares of my life. But I do think that was because I forgot to take the Clonidine. Anyway, it could be worth a try. I hope work will be a distraction from your nightmare. Take care.

 

[Ariane]

@hodge thank you. Unfortunately, I don't have any insurance or money for medication or therapy. I'm scared to take any medication really, addiction runs in the family.

 

[hodge]

Addiction runs in part of my family, too, but Rxs are different, as long as you don't abuse them. Can you get on your state's version of Medicaid? A county social worker should be able to help you with that, to at least get therapy.

 

[Ariane]

@hodge I've tried but I've run into a lot of roadblocks. I'll try again this week, I had to pick up another job to make ends meet. I really need to get back into therapy again, it's gotten really bad :(

 

[hodge]

Oh, good luck! I know how hard it is to get on Medicaid, but it is so worth it. Wishing you the best.

 

[Ariane]

@hodge thank you very much.

 

[hodge]

You are very welcome. I really hope it works out.

 

[Ariane]

Thank you!! I will definitely look into that.