Caring Doesn't Always Present, Just As We'd Like It To
Hi beatle, what's up? You've stated you'd like to know someone cares. Well I care, and that's why I'm risking being so honest here with you now;
And, even though I'm now even more fully aware of your contempt toward people who piss you off, ........however, unexpectedly that 'pissing you off' may surface.
Only my thoughts...........
you don't know me at all ,, , , so please make no usumsions or statements as if you do. if you want to find out some thing about someones status or what's going on that may be making them feel so down . ASK them , get to know them first if there is one thing I hate it's people givin advise when they know
nothing of the subject ,,,,,
This precisely is one thing you might want to bring to the ears of those listening in that long-lasting support system of yours. IMO, such further communications there would probably be a far better and accurate fit.
I'm reminded tonight as to exactly why I fear even trying to connect or be supportive to another sufferer, why bc many sufferers I've known, simply might in their personal frustration and anger, seek and find even the slightest flaw in anything one says or does. And, sometimes all while only simply communicating, possibly hoping to make a connection, or even simply wishing to be of some support; Naturally each in our own ways.
Everybody is different in there style of communication!
Truly, do you not want others to be accepting, of your style of communication Beatle? You show no interest in performing cartwheels for others in communicating. Do others have the same rights as you?
Beatle I'd began writing this and hoped to have posted this after your first response to Jestadud.
Life is demanding for all of us, as you well know. We all have needs. Life can interrupt clear communications often. Look no further then my twins for examples of this.
All right every one sorry I was in such an ugly and even insulting mood ,,,, Shit happens , people get sick {phyisically } as well as mentally ..
We all know this all to well, but my question is: When Shit happens, where does it land?
and I personaly don't hold back anything
Beatle, does such communication allow you to genuinely connect, and/or maintain connection with others, whether via PC's, phone, face-to-face or in support groups?
You yourself recommend saying what's on your mind. Well, beatle it bothers and hurts me to read your displaced anger.
Perhaps if you were to identify what real emotions often lay beneath anger and then identify with any of those. You could ask yourself such questions:
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• What is it in my life that I feel so helpless over?
• Do I feel sad and why?
• Do I feel controlled by others? Whom?
• Am I guilty of something that I find hard to admit to anyone?
• What can I best do about and with my frustrations?
• Whom do I care so much about and are they hurting?
• Am I grieving and if so what is the loss in which I grieve, or continue to grieve?
• Can I do anything to better understand myself and others?
• Do I feel vulnerable, if so how come?
• When feeling vulnerable, how do I protect or armor myself?
• Is there any feelings of rejection, humiliation, failure in my life? If so, do I own such feelings? Do I avoid and/or deny them?
• How do I treat others when, feeling emotional pain, or rejected, humiliation or just plain scared?
• How much self-control do I have, ....Lots, some, none, etc.? How much do I want?
I have also learned that when I hold back I suffer very deeply
Beatle do you know what I'm learning. I'm learning that restraint of pen and tongue (even keyboard) goes many miles further then reacting contemptously to my fleeting bouts of anger, .........And, benefits others.
Also I've learned "Think, Think, Think." Sound familiar?
Does any of this suggest not saying what we think and feel. No, rather it suggests that we step-back, remain open-minded to delve a little further inside ourselves and see what the real-deal is, and then communicate openly and honestly.
Everyone communicates differently!
Herds of angry people congregate and communicate eventually exactly the same. It's all predictable.
Personally, I've not once ever eased into any requirement that I must mimic and follow along with any herd, and if such is a requirement to relations, receiving and/or giving support well then I've learned it's time I must move on. -I'm thinking and referring specifically to that support grp. you mentioned, .....I think it was in your first post.
As for ranting, rant away, but do so hope you'll in the very least identify whom and what you're truly angry at. It's not believable to me that an unsuspecting, and apparently considerate and polite man, whom you don't even know, could be the source of all your frustration and anger.
Truthfully who and wtf are you really angry at? Start with the whole universe if need be and break it down, identify the emotions beneath the anger and start then chipping away.
Why? Because: "If little to nothing changes, then little to nothing changes." And, if a whole sh't load has changed, then our inward footing likely doesn't even resemble anything from our pasts.
Just as we often tend to "live what we learn." We too can learn and respond differently to what we have lived.
Truth be told I try to stay right size , least as best I can. I don't do all that well at that as I would hope to ...
None of us can do this all alone.
but if you don't see me here for a while , well that means I fought my way through another pissy mood or a short bout with ptsd .........
In all respect beatle, you may've lept over your pissy mood, and/or may crawl beneath it, and/or have bolted around it, but to have so rapidly fought your way through your current anger(s) and through any open wounds and present triggers and emotions fueling your anger is IMHO, highly unlikely.
You can now either set yourself up to feed, perhaps further feed your ego, .........or you can do whatever you must to defuse it. Honesty works well!
I'm only mentioning ego here now, in reference to what you yourself stated.
......also do hope you'll read some and find out a bit more of what you and so many of us here, are really up against. If you can't, don't like to, or won't read, you could watch many a internet-available short video upon Ptsd.
This Ptsd sh't doesn't just correct itself.
My best to you Beatle,
Sincerely,
Hope
