Making Final Arrangements, Wisdom Or Depression?

[The Albatross]

Red flag, depressive rumination(?): "I think about death and dying daily." However chronic pain is debilitating and can add to depressive tendencies. Maybe you should dig deeper on that one and investigate how long you've thought about death and dying daily and what the onset was. There could be several factors in your history for this both physical and mental emotional.

So far as, "I suffer from obstructive sleep apnea, (meaning I could possibly die in my sleep)." As I am also an apnea sufferer, education and facts are a good way to inoculate yourself from the "dying in my sleep" thing and compliance. For instance, "Sleep apnea is a serious health problem that can be life threatening if left undiagnosed and untreated." and actually, "According to the National Commission on Sleep Disorders Research, approximately 38,000 deaths occur on an annual basis that relate to cardiovascular problems that in one way or another are connected to sleep apnea." You are being treated and are compliant with your C-pap right Lion?
(link: Sleep Apnea Statistics | The Statistics Of Sleep Apnea )
So yes while deaths do occur from sleep apnea statistically the risk is small though higher for those with other chronic or acute diagnoses as well - the key factor is compliance with your c-pap so as to maximize your nocturnal oxygen levels and prevent the risk of carbon dioxide build up in the blood stream.

Personally, I only know of one sleep apnea death and that was a friend/coworker's husband who had gone to a bachelor party, over indulged (way over indulged) with booze and elected to sleep on the sofa instead of ask for a ride home - he did not have his c-pap however his blood alcohol level was way way high. He did though also have hypertension and those three factors led to his death. That's just what I know personally with all the people and client's I've known over the years. For myself I elected to be keenly aware of alcohol consumption, and trend to refuse medications that suppress the respiratory system or have sedating properties unless there is one heck of a reason. That plus education about apnea pretty much put the kibosh on my fears about it.

The rest reads like a mixed bag of more balanced stuff to me with the exception of the dream about you being shot which I would expect is your subconscious serving you up what it thinks you want since you think about death and dying daily. There is nothing out of balance about the remaining items on your list, preparation is largely a good thing... but a preoccupation with it isn't, k?

Good on you for getting feed back for this here Lion. Hope that something will pop or snap some more conscious perspective on this for you here.

 

[Lionheart]

Thank you @The Albatross for the feedback and for your continued support!!!

I suppose it was my father's passing from lung cancer in December of 2012 that started the daily thoughts of death and dying and the sleep apnea just kinda compounded that, (as has my mother's recent move into a nursing facility).

I am compliant with the C-Pap and also take oxygen at night as my saturation levels are low then. I refrain from medications that might suppress respiratory function and don't drink except for rare occasions and even then, I limit myself to 2-3 drinks tops.

I do have COPD which may increase the likelihood of apneas during sleep and this does worry me a bit, but I am compliant with my medication regimen for that problem as well.

I appreciate your helping to educate me about sleep apnea, I will remain cautious but am not worried about depression like I was previous to your sharing.

I think it is mainly a healthy thing that I want to make final arrangements but, I need to remain watchful tho and take good care of myself when it comes to depression, Vit D levels, S.A.D, and the winter months.

 

[The Albatross]

"I suppose it was my father's passing from lung cancer in December of 2012 that started the daily thoughts of death and dying and the sleep apnea just kinda compounded that, (as has my mother's recent move into a nursing facility)." - Bingo bro'.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

When my husband died, the first thing I did was arrange for my death and have a living will. I have peace of mind now and I do not think much about dying and leaving my family to do everything because I was not prepared.

But it gave me peace of mind.

I think that you are ruminating about this and due to your chronic pain and your mom going into a nursing home probably brought all of this up to the surface.

 

[Lionheart]

I think that you are ruminating about this and due to your chronic pain and your mom going into a nursing home probably brought all of this up to the surface.

I agree with you @gizmo, there are other things that figure into it, but you hit the nail on the head. Ultimately I just want the peace of mind that comes from having settled one's affairs..

I don't think I am depressed, but rather sad and attempting to prepare myself for eventualities.

 

[Deleted member 541]

Personally, I think that most people at a certain age, realize that they are not getting any younger, and want to get their affairs in order. Society today also pushes this a lot, with all the freaking commercials on TV and ads in magazines about prepaid funerals, creating wills. Even the hospitals push for end of life directives, such as no codes, what types of life saving treatments we want near the end of life.

I don't think it's abnormal, weird or otherwise to make sure that our wishes are written out, and in doing so it takes a lot of the burden off those left behind. Honestly I think doing so, is a good thing. JMO!!!!

 

[mudbug]

I personally don't think it is very strange. I've been suicidal, but I'd say when I was planning my own living will wasn't during one of those times. In fact it was probably one of the "clearer" times in my life and was like 100% about practicality. For me it was like you said, I just didn't feel right not having things straightened out and I felt better after I did it. It was especially a concern for me since I have specific funeral wishes that are not exactly common place here (a natural burial) and the thought that my family might do something else with my body really bothered me. I actually have a folder with my burial wishes where I've also included things like my phone's password and instructions for how my family can contact long distance friends if something happens (I don't use facebook lol.)

More people should do this kind of thing imo. And I agree with she cat, I think it can help those left behind, especially if they have a way to know for certain that they are carrying out your wishes, helps give them some closure I like to think. But honestly I think there is a kind of stigma about this stuff and many people find it morbid. Some people are uncomfortable with just the thought of death alone. This general stigma might be influencing your feelings, but there is nothing wrong with being practical.