Manipulation Vs. Pleasure

[Oppressed]

I'm a 21 year old female.

Average height and weight. Beautiful. Caring. Intellectual. Courageous. Outgoing. Poised. Witty. STRONG.

I'm strong because I won the battle I fought between self-gratifying manipulation and sexual pleasure. I started cleaning that dirty little secret.Before I started grade school, I was coerced into performing oral pleasure by a young man down the street. Not long after, my [only] biological father continued and repeated the process. Not only did I perform oral, he performed anal penetration on me. I wasn't even in kindergarten yet.

Eventually, this sexual manipulation vs. sexual pleasure between my father and I continued on to a more mature version of sexual satisfaction. I use the word "mature" because I believe the giving away of innocence is sacred. What he did to me wasn't sacred. It was stealing. He stole my virginity. One of the most beautiful things I could offer to my future husband... GONE. And never to be felt again as long as I lived.

This battle I continuously fought between the sexual pleasure my father gained from sexually manipulating me continued until I was 20 years old.

He said he loved me.

 

[Stickler]

Love...well, real, unselfish love...does not destroy the person whom is loved. You love the person and you want the very best for them.

He loved you like I love a pint of dark chocolate cashew ice cream. When I get a pint of dark chocolate cashew ice cream I get a spoon and I gobble it all up.

You don't gobble up your child.

You deserved so much better.

:hug: