I had my chemo treatment today and I witnessed one of the patients being so mean to the staff. They asked for back up from the hospital team and she got worse. Her immune system is down, she has wounds on her feet that are not healing even with the medication that they are giving her, she can't sleep because of the pain. I have heard that some patients get very mean verbally, psychologically and physically when the end comes.
This really perturbed me that when I got home, I cried and cried. I had asked my daughter if she could intervene if I ever got that way at the end. Just tell me ... Mom, ok be mad because of the pain but not mad towards those who are helping you. She said she would find that difficult. I didn't , I was just in an emotional reaction. So I started to think, which of the kids would be able to do it. I opted for the oldest and the youngest son, just in case one was out of region because of their jobs.
So tonight, I talked to my youngest son as my oldest one will be coming back from Northern Quebec tomorrow. I explained and cried alot when talking to my youngest (J). He did some good listening and he kept telling me that he was pretty sure that I would react pretty well much like I am as a person. I told him I always believed in prevention. I would not be time to think of a Plan A or Plan B the day my daughter gets a call saying that the hospital is kicking me out because of my behavior even with cancer. This happened to one of my neigbor friends who died of cancer during Easter WE this year. His kids and friends had to REALLY talk to him and make him realize that he was not helping himself. And yet this man was a very kind and good person! He listened to his kids and the hospital accepted him back on certain conditions.
Oh boy :cry: ....
Yeah ok, I am who I am ... but how is the PTSD going to affect the last sprint ???? That's scaring me as I won't have the psychological strength to control THAT !!!! :cry: Oh man feeling SOOOOO down.
I promised myself to always say "thank you for your good care" to the nurses who give me the treatments when it's time to leave.