Well, I let 1 week go by before talking about what happened at my last chemo treatment. I've been overpowered by so many emotions. I filled out a second consent form for furtur testing on my cancer. Apparently we are 8 survivors (over 1 year) who are doing really well with the treatments and the research group is trying to figure out why we - and not the others - are surviving and doing OK. I don't remember exactly how many we were in the group, but if my memory serves me well, we were over a 100 people. that's a lot of people who died in the first year ! I'm feeling lucky and yet guilty (yeah... good ol' PTSD behavior at work:arghh;) towards the families who have lost their loved ones. I wake up every morning and I say to myself, OK today you're alive ! So I try to accomplish things during the day, be it a little or lots, all depends if my body can offer the energy to do things.
This has made me feel soooo weird, so close to the meaning of Life and Death ... really not to be taken for granted.
:hug: to you all, luv ya