Relationship Me, You And Ptsd. Why I Am The Third Wheel In My Damn Relationship...

[Lem]

Grrr another blissful morning where I am sick as a dog and hurting like hell and steve has his son. The kid is annoying him and unless he get to spend exactly as much time as he wants on something then he never ever gets to play it so as he has a new found obsession with a pool game that has gradually increased and increased I am now a nuisance for being sick and his son is a nuisance for being an 8 year old and wanting attention.

I ask for a hug and as he hugs me tells me hes taking some space tomorrow while I'm coughing and spluttering. gee thanks mr sensitivity. Everything I ask him to do he directs dustin to do and now is acting like the world just happens to him alone. I am really hurting but god knows that's not important.

we went camping yesterday and our depressed roommate started being grumpy and emotional and I finally got tired of her shouting and bad moods and asked to not stay a second night to which she blew up (as I knew she was gonna anyway) and steve blamed me evn though I said the reason I didn't want to stay was because I knew she was gonna blow up about something. I still managed to hold it together even when she started shouting that I was out of my god damn mind while steve ignores the whole thing (this is on a beach with our kids) and Im th irrational one for thinking that this woman is a problem and not wanting her around. So now I'm sick and stressed and still having to deal with everything because steve is irritable.... joy of joys. I know he doesn't mean it. He just doesn't see what my life becomes he just sees how he feels and what he wants and if it doesn't match up it coz the worlds out to get him not just that its called BEING AN ADULT. we don't always get what we want. God knows I don't get most of what I want like yesterday when I asked for help so I could sit down for a second and conveniently everyone was too tired so it was just me. yay

 

[Sweetpea76]

Sometimes it's hard to get support when you're the supporter...

 

[Lem]

he is actually being very supportive its just some days are bad days. And sometimes he forgets I'm not wonderwoman. After his total flip out last month I now am a shaking nervous mess or panic and depression. He is helping me through it and kind of realizes he is to blame for most of it but then he gets proactive and is like honey I'll get you through this... Sweetheart I have to remind you to brush your teeth. We have already established if I don't run thing around here everything goes to hell. In 3 weeks while we were broken up he developed a drinking problem and spent 6000 dollars. Its great that he wants to help me through it just I don't think he I actuallycapable of it.

 

[Friday]

Any strengths you can put to use? Either direct support, or ancillary support? (Of the 80 item daily list, 1-5 are the most important, but not on the strengths list... But 8-15 are... So get 8-15 rocking, leaving you more energy for 1-5?)

And... While I'm the PTSD person, I ran my household when I was married. If I was down & out for any time at all? Total effing disaster. Made 1,000 times worse by my husband's temper. ((I know, let's make a hard thing harder! Ugh.)) So I kept a short list of "get 'er done!" people... All in a literal list in one place... So that when I was a little busy puking up food I hadn't even eaten yet, or moving at the blazing speed of drunk walrus... I didn't have to think too hard ;)). Overnight childcare, maid service, food delivery, laundry service, etc. These were all hired people (except overnight childcare) because I needed these things done, not questions and arguments about how my husband "should" be doing them! Which is what family or friends would have been oh so helpful providing. :wtf: Not helpful, people.

I just figure... Since this sucks, might as well get something good out of it, yeah? Make up some lists for what your Beaux can do, what you can do, & what would be smart to get hired done? (Not the "should" list, or if things were different list. The "I'm gonna curl up on the couch with a movie and a blankie and moan in peace list!) So that you can enact it and save everyone some stress. You, mostly. Cause you're sick & need some help.