Meds Forever?

[Candleflames]

My T, in his compassionate ways, tried to help me through my feelings of inadequacy surrounding medication use. I want off of them! Desperately so! It's my main goal. I've been on them for 4 years now. I've had to switch and have been doing well. A year ago I tried to go off them and nearly lost my ptsd battle because of it. Now I am much better at coping and the tapering off is going fairly smooth. There's been some bumps but I can cope and move on. I'm really hopeful.

My T on the other hand is concerned because when I talk about getting off the meds he hears some "negative value judgement" about myself in my hopes. That they are what is motivating me to really push getting off the pills. He agrees that my skills are such that a slow taper is doable for me. He's not convinced that my end goal should be that I'm med free in x amount of time. But that a good goal would be to learn to tolerate a lowest possible dose of medication with the highest degree of successful management. He equated it to someone on cholesterol medication. That sometimes exercise and diet can only do so much and that it also depends on the cards one was dealt. Some people have a genetic predisposition to high cholesterol and need the medication even when they behaviors and lifestyle are optimal.

So what my brain heard: That my trauma might have been so early and so severe that meds might be needed to patch up the forever broken bits of my brain. Cause of course I go to the bleakest possible scenario.

I have no before the trauma. My father would drug and beat my mom while in utero and then started hitting me when I was 4 months old.

What do others think of this idea of medications for the long haul? Do you think that trauma from childhood abuse could damage the brain/mind so much that it needs forever help?

 

[Deleted member 12723]

@Candleflames It has taken me years to get my meds that work and my psych doc is slowly down dosing me. It will take about a month to stabilize for me.

I have down dosed off of one med but still take it and it really messed with my mind until I got used to it.

There was a time in my life where I could not function without the right meds but if I can eventually go off of all of them that would be great too.

 

[Cannottakethis]

I think I come from a little bit of a different perspective. I'm 47 and have been on meds since my original dx when I was 23. First antidepressants (I was originally treated for depression ) then when it turned out I was bipolar (genetics) more meds, mood stabilizers and antipsychotics. When I started trying to deal with my PTSD things got changed around a bit, but I cannot imagine a life without meds. I'd like to take a bit less at some point, but I want to be stable way more than i want to be medication free.
Why do you want to get off the meds so badly @Candleflames? If you feel good on them, why take a chance? As your therapist pointed out, if this were anything physical, diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease; and you could manage those things with meds, you would. It's a shame we can't manage PTSD with diet and exercise. Unfortunately, it doesn't go away. It can be made much more tolerable with treatment, but I don't believe it ever completely goes away whether it starts at birth or early childhood, teens etc. I believe this for one, because it was just added to the legalized marijuana list in my state, which thus far has only had chronic debilitating diseases with no cure.

 

[EveHarrington]

Do you have multiple diagnosises?

 

[Cannottakethis]

Do you have multiple diagnosises?

Was this for me?

 

[Nessa7]

As I read more about what science thinks about how the brains of someone with PTSD is different from the brain of someone without it, the more at peace I am with the possibility of taking meds forever. I am no scientist, but I do believe the evidence that mental illness isn't something that just takes place mentally. There's a physical component to it like any other illness.

 

[angelindisguise]

Hello
I have had ptsd for almost 5 years now, and am almost completely panic-free without medication by doing my own therapies such as art, self reflection, and meditation. I still occasionally have panic episodes, sleep paralysis and feel "the slipping" but I almost always catch it now. I have been lucky enough to have the time, support, and lifestyle necessary for that process. I recently began a relationship with the most amazing man. He also suffers from ptsd and panic disorders, and has been heavily medicated with benzos, antidepressants, and stimulants for years. He HATES being reliant on medication, because although they manage his anxiety, they almost completely emotionally numb him, to the point where he ends up abusing certain ones to feel good. In the past month or two he has gone off of everything except a small dose of Klonopin. It has been very hard for him, he feels emotionally unstable but no longer feels life is worth living "like a zombie". I see the same drive to be self sufficient that I had post trauma, and I believe he is capable. With that being said, he lives in a small town and has a full time corporate job that is basically like prison for him, but its all he can afford and as a result does not have time or access to a healthy therapy or lifestyle. Every time he expresses to his dr he wants to be med free and have a different therapy they basically tell him that its not an option. This makes him feel like he is broken. Like he is damaged goods, and that hell never be independent. The drugs have become a way for him to survive, rather than thrive.
As his partner I am supportive of whatever decision he makes regarding his use of medications. I believe some people do need meds, genetically, because I have a brother that truly does. But I think its unfair for a suffering man to be told he doesn't have the option, to be drugged just so he can work like a corporate zombie every day of his life. Thats not a life. I don't know how to help him, he doesn't have the financial stability to just up and move or find a new, shittier job (all this small town has to offer). Should he stay medicated until he can get out of that hell? Is this a perpetual vicious cycle?

 

[rosey]

I was told by my psych that I would most likely be on meds for the life. same situation there being no before trauma. hard to accept as i am very anti drug for me however....... if i needed drugs for a long term physical condition (heart, blood pressure etc) would i be so hard on myself? .... no... It is hard to process that my brian was not permitted to develop but that is it in a nut shell. the alternative is not coping with life so meds it is.

 

[EmmaOwl]

I'm not sure why so many people talk about psychiatric medication separately from meds for "purely physical" health problems.

I hate taking psychiatric meds, and I hate taking meds for unrelated physical problems. I'd like to be off all of them - the psych vs non-psych doesn't make a difference. I don't want my life to revolve around medication of any kind.

Stopping meds altogether might be an unrealistic goal but I can definitely take less than I do now. I'm working towards that.

 

[EmmaOwl]

my original dx when I was 23.

My PTSD was diagnosed and my first trials of antidepressants came in my mid-teens.... And, worse, benzos, and sleeping meds like ambien. It also took a long time for me to be diagnosed with a form of bipolar... Meds have been up, down, all around, for more than half my life.. I'm grateful to have been on pretty much the same "cocktail" for a couple of years now - and I don't want to disturb what feels like a balancing act.

I cannot imagine a life without meds. I'd like to take a bit less at some point, but I want to be stable way more than i want to be medication free.

Absolutely. I missed this bit in your post; I'm glad I looked back and happened upon it. Thanks. It is a different perspective for sure, starting meds at young ages.