Members Come And Go

[ISupportHer]

I know that sometimes members decide to leave for various reasons and say goodbye. I really appreciate when they do. I have been preoccupied with a family thing for weeks, come back to participating here again and then realize some that used to be a real presence here are no longer around.
I know it's not my job to watch over everyone, but I do worry when someone just drops away. I hope they are OK. I am betting that I am not the only one who becomes attached to others, friends, here.

If I leave (LOL, some will probably suggest that I do!) I will say goodbye first.

ISH

 

[SimplyComplex]

Hey! I'm a UU too (i am assuming you are)

I hate the board goodbyes if they are all dramatic and looking for attention...never seen it on this board cause I am new but on lots of other board. I guess I fade off over time as the need for the board is less in my life (i.e. my fertility board as we decided to go through adoption instead)...so I doubt I would say good bye

 

[Ron]

It would be hard for me to go some day, but I guess only I will know the "when." I fit here.

 

[KP the nut]

ISH you are right. I'm missing someone here who has not been seen for a couple of months.

I promise I will say goodbye or au revoir. If I disappear, please send out a search party :tup:. A St Bernard with a brandy cask around his neck would be good as well:roflmao:

 

[Bachall]

I often lose the technical ability to get on a board, then find it hard to reconnect if it's been too long. Drifting off emotionally, detachment, has been a lifelong characteristic. It's hard to know at this point whether it's personality or trauma, since trauma kinda shaped me. Until the last couple weeks I was sure I was autistic - and still could be for all I know.

Anyway I can't make any guarantees. Based on my pattern I am one of those who may post for months or years then simply vanish. But that's why. I make my apologies in advance. ;)

 

[ISupportHer]

I can see how some would prefer to drift away. But when someone has been posting a lot, has been struggling, and then stops without saying anything, I guess it just makes me concerned for them.

I guess I am not asking anyone to sign a pact to give notice or anything. Maybe in a way, just letting people know that you will be missed and there will be concern for you. I imagine some don't want that but that is what happens. Among the regulars anyway.

KP, wonder if we are thinking of the same person?

ISH

 

[Srain]

IS, I get what you are saying and it can be so hard to begin to care and get to know people only to find them gone one day. I am guilty of being a fixture and then disappearing. I think because I am afraid I might be knocked off or may have hurt somebody's feelings or just need to take a break but I believe I seldom make an announcement about, I just go.

It has long since I have heard the words of those having been left behind and it's good to be reminded that, yes, there always those that get left there, so thank you for posting this and reminding us.

Hugs,
Rain

 

[Nicolette]

I try and take people leaving as a good sign for the better part. To me it is a sign they have taken what good they could get out of the forum, applied it to their lives, and are now moving on to greater or other things.

Mina for example, who pops in from time to time like you ISH, is greatly missed but I know she has progressed in her life and I would like to hope that is why most people have left.

There have been a few long timers who have left like Wendy and for her, I think she needed more than the forum. I trust she has found something more helpful.

People come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime.... which is how I see the forum. Anthony being the only one mad enough to stay around for a lifetime :unsure::roflmao::p

 

[Jade-]

I guess I am guilty of just drifting away. But I do pop back in here and there when I'm having a rough time,when I want to update, or to just check things out.

I lived here for a year straight. This forum was my entire life. It was what I needed at the time.

But now....I don't need it so much, I still have my ups and downs,symptoms,etc., but I am getting so much better at keeping my head above water.

I guess before I was so consumed with PTSD that it became my life. Now I actually have a life other than PTSD.

 

[ISupportHer]

((((HUGS)))
Jadebear. It is awesome that you feel you don't need the forum as much, That is a GOOD thing that you have found some healing and can focus on other things.

I appreciate hearing from you and I'm sure others will too!

ISH

 

[ISupportHer]

I try and take people leaving as a good sign for the better part. To me it is a sign they have taken what good they could get out of the forum, applied it to their lives, and are now moving on to greater or other things.

This is absolutely true! Jadebear's post is a prime example. It is just so good to hear when I know that is why someone has dropped off the radar. Just so very encouraging. For them but also those who continue to struggle. Awesome to hear that when we sometimes are surrounded with discussion of how we feel, our symptoms and pain, there IS a light at the end of the tunnel that can be reached with time, hard personal work as well as support.

Of course, it's OK to come back if one needs to. That can happen too.

ISH

 

[Lionheart]

I dissapeared for awhile after posting a trauma diary that really stirred up a lot of emotional pain. I was feeling ashamed, embarrassed and afraid because of the exposure and needed time to process it.

I think the worst of that is over, as I have been back for a while now, but I have to say there are people that I miss that are no longer on the forum. I wonder how they are doing and if they found healing in their lives. :confused:

I have grown emotionally attached to some of the members here and see that as a healthy part of being on this forum. I never thought anyone would miss me, but I realize that may have been a selfish viewpoint and I will let others know if I leave again for any reason.