Memories After Trauma Rather Than Before Causing Much Of Ptsd.

[Abrasky]

I have come across a curious thing in recovering from PTSD that the worst PTSD symptoms I had were actually not the result of the trauma I went through. The worst symptoms were the result of a positive non traumatic memory 2 weeks after my trauma becoming damaged. I forgot this memory for 13 years. I suppose it would make sense that the stress hormones cause damage to non traumatic memories within the weeks after a trauma too, not only the trauma memories during the trauma?

It is almost like the stress from my trauma polarised this good memory and I started behaving wierdly when this memory started coming up.(Going to opposite ends to avoid it). I don't understand this fear of this memory as the memory isn't connected to my trauma. It is like it became attached to my trauma, just because of all the stress linking up wrong things 2 weeks after my trauma.

Has anyone else experienced their PTSD damage to positive memories rather than just traumatic ones?

 

[Meadowsweet]

I'm not sure I understand what you mean Maze.

But this is something that might be related in some way.

During a violent relationship I was in years ago, the positives in my life were keeping the house nice, writing poems and watching specific TV programs as part of my daily routine.

But when I ran away from him, I got it in my head that I had been a terrible person and I must change absolutely everything about myself. But that included shutting away all the good stuff as well as the bad.

I think the good stuff can be reminders of the trauma as much as the bad.

 

[Abrasky]

Sorry I am not clear. For example 2 days after my trauma(my dad and mum attacked me) I got my first long term part time job, deputy fire captain.

2 weeks after the attack because of all the stress after the trauma, a memory of doing this job got damaged. As a result I had trouble with having people behind me (supportively), being behind others, working in a long term position, working at all, going fast when I should be going slow, going slow when I should go fast. It is like I have anti fire brigade PTSD. So my PTSD is largely the damage to the memories after the trauma due to the stress in the two weeks after the trauma. I blocked out memories because of the stress hormones I think.

My PTSD is less what happened in my trauma PTSD, than what anti- happened in the inncoulous two weeks after my PTSD. The damage comes from memory damage I suppose.