Memories???

[Sideways]

or it could be that you were depersonalized at the time (a form of dissociation, the experience of being on the outside of your body), and your memory is from a depersonalized perspective..

Just to flesh this bit out:
It's not uncommon for people to describe a point in a traumatic experience where they were suddenly watching themselves, often from above or across the room, as the traumatic event took place. That happens because they have dissociated (the depersonalisation kind) during the event.

That person's memories of the event will commonly be from the same perspective. So, someone being assaulted might suddenly be watching themselves from above as the assault is occurring. Their memory of the assault will often be from that same 'out of body' perspective.

 

[Deleted member 42957]

One memory I am thinking of I am 10 years old. At the beginning I am standing about 2 ft behind myself and when I moved position to being in a more traumatic situation I then see it from my own eyes. But it hasn't always been like that. I used to see it all from standing behind myself. What would make how I see it change? There are no photos from the day and I have never spoken to anyone about it or heard anyone speak about it. It would be good to understand this.

 

[joeylittle]

I used to see it all from standing behind myself. What would make how I see it change?

If you are working on processing the memories, your trauma response could have down-shifted enough to let your perspective move into your body.

Or something like.

My instinct would be, moving from a depersonalized perspective to a first-person perspective indicates some form of progress. Could be acclimating to the memory, could be your brain is somehow 'ready' to move in closer, could be the effects of the memories are not as acute. But it's all positive, I'd think.

 

[The Albatross]

The only thing about it I needed to understand was that it was a form of coping and protection that I developed because other types of coping weren't available or yet learned by me. It was confusing, but it was a form of self protection. Where it went wonky was that it continued to happen into adulthood becoming problematic until I learned other coping stuff.

 

[Deleted member 42957]

I need to learn more about this. I'm not aware if I do it now or not. I don't deal with stressful or confrontational situations at all. I just freeze, shake and don't speak, just switch off. But I'm not aware that I "go anywhere else" and I don't remember anything.
My short term memory is really bad anyway. When my T asks me what I've done during the week I just cannot recall anything so I started writing down at the end of the day what I had done.
I've stopped therapy for the moment but I never remembered what we talked about until a 2 or 3 weeks later?