Memory With No Emotions

[Powder]

Okay, I will be interested to hear how it plays out for you. You are a great writer by the way. I don't mind your novels! Maybe you should write one.

For me the sadness doesn't last and it's subtle but there. It kind of feels like I am simply able to sense now. So it's not an intense, sudden dam breaking for me. It's more that I feel sad this ever happened to me and I'm at this point where it's in the past, and I guess I feel sorry for the old me that experienced it.

 

[black_dove]

It took both my T and I by surprise because I was actually doing very well so she wasn't making the "grounding statements" that she usually does. Anger is an emotion that I have only tapped into twice during 18 months of therapy. I am terrified of anger, though I do get angry occasionally at home. Anyway, this was one of the two times I felt a tiny bit of anger, she wanted me to focus on it. Next thing I knew was fading out and hearing her calling my name. I guess that is a good example of why grounding exercises are so important.

I totally identify with this. I think my T also sees me doing very well so far, at least, and has commented on such, but I feel I need to bring it up next session to use grounding techniques and a safe place in case. I am getting the impression this will get very intense and I don't want to fall apart. I've got my life fairly stabilized at this point and I just can't risk losing what I have gained this far.

'Fading out..." That is a perfect way to describe it. I never knew what this was until recently. It also didn't really happen to me before, at least not to the extent it has over the last month. Not to get too personal, but sex is a very specific trigger for me, and I have actually completely "gone away" afterward. I have never done this before, again...so clearly stuff is resurfacing, just not in the way I'd expected. I would like to learn grounding techniques to stay present in all areas...

I would love if you could find the thread concerning ego states. My T mentioned it briefly a few weeks ago, but we haven't gotten back to that yet.

 

[black_dove]

Okay, I will be interested to hear how it plays out for you. You are a great writer by the way. I don't mind your novels! Maybe you should write one.

For me the sadness doesn't last and it's subtle but there. It kind of feels like I am simply able to sense now. So it's not an intense, sudden dam breaking for me. It's more that I feel sad this ever happened to me and I'm at this point where it's in the past, and I guess I feel sorry for the old me that experienced it.

That's a really good way to put it...I hope to be able to get to this point someday. Oh, and thanks - by the way. Your compliment is very nice but feels undeserved. Grrr...still....thanks! (I'm supposed to be working on how to take a compliment!) :p