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Sufferer *mic Tap* Is This Thing On?

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littlehibou

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Hello all,

I was recently diagnosed with PTSD after a silent year of suffering what my psycho therapist and psychiatrist originally thought was acute stress disorder (ASD). When "post traumatic stress disorder" came up mid this year as my new diagnosis, I was in disbelief.

My first thoughts were: Wait no, it can't possibly be PTSD. I haven't been to war. Nor have I been a victim to violent crime or terrorism. What I didn't realise was, trauma can take many forms in ways we least expect.

We have slowly been peeling back the layers...

What I've come to realise is, I've been a victim to physical assault, sexual assault, and emotional terrorism. Things that can correlate to PTSD and without the help of my therapist and psychiatrist, I would have never understood.

All of these situations occurred with men, and so...my relationships with men as friends, family, and especially with lovers, have slowly but surely come to an edge. A painful edge. To the point of where I habitually get hyper vigilant around them. Relationships are getting harder. I'm so severe with my boyfriends that they can't handle it anymore. Unnecessary tension with male coworkers. The awkwardness with my brothers when they try to connect. And it sounds silly, not all of these men are bad. But the second something triggers me, I am 100% in fight mode or I crumble in the darkest ways possible.

I'm trying to get better. One method I've found that helps is listening to others' struggles or even victories and even voicing my own frustrations with myself or victories. So I decided to join this forum. To hear about your stories. Offer support. And perhaps learn from you all. :)
 
@littlehibou, Hello and welcome to the forum!
listening to others' struggles, or victories,...voicing own frustrations and even victories...To hear about your stories. Offer support. And perhaps learn from you all.
You have described the life-giving aspect of this forum.

Like you, it took some time to come to peace with my PTSD diagnosis; it was not a passing diagnosis, but one I would need to manage over my lifetime. It is a blessing to have my condition defined, and it sometimes feels like a curse.

In those darker moments, I reach out for help (friends and professionals), this forum, and remind myself that working through each challenge builds my skills; in the end it is a gift to my resiliency.

I look forward to reading more of your posts.:hug: Hang in there, with all of us.:hug:
 
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