Misdiagnosis And Needing To Find The Right Help

[Deb63]

I am new to this forum and I joined because I have suspected that I have PTSD for a very long time. After thirty-years of not really knowing exactly what was wrong, a very good psychiatrist began to dismiss my diagnosis of Bipolar II and suggested PTSD. Unfortunately, just as we were beginning to address this, his residency was completed and he could no longer see me as a patient.

My replacement adamantly refused to even listen to me when I tried to talk to her about having PTSD. She also thought that I was not Bipolar and that I have Borderline Personality Disorder. I agree that I don't think I am Bipolar, and I have read that Borderline PD and PTSD have often been confused. After being hospitalized numerous times the last year, having a falling-out with my therapist and spending the last few months without any therapy and medications, there is no doubt in my mind that my true problem is PTSD.

I had an emotionally traumatizing event occur when I was eleven, and after that day I began to fall apart. The trauma was childhood bullying, and the perpetrator just started it one day with no warning. He continued it throughout the school year, and as I became more and more affected by it, others joined in on tormenting me. The worst of it occurred from sixth to eighth grade, but this incident changed my belief about myself so that I have always felt this trauma ever since, and I am now 49 years old! I am so panic-stricken that off and on throughout my life I have drawn attention to myself because I believed that what these bullies were doing to me was really who I was, and so often, people have picked up on this and I have continued to be teased and tormented.

The only thing that ever helped was alcohol and benzos. I abused them for years, and have stopped using Klonopin two months ago, after using it every day for the last twenty years. It has been an absoulte hell, and I have turned into a near-recluse. I have been married for nineteen years, and have three school-age children, so this I am not only hurt myself, I am hurting my loved ones as well.

The guilt about this is one of the worst emotions I have ever dealt with, and though never really suicidal, the idea has been in the back of my mind more often. I have reached a bottom and I don't think I can continue like this much longer. I need help and I want help, but I feel paralyzed. I need to find a therapist who specialized in trauma, and I would love some advice. I live in Mass., so was wondering if anyone could offer any suggestions.

Sorry this post is so long.

<Inserted Paragraph Breaks>

 

[PTSD sufferer]

Hi Deb, Welcome to the forum.

There is another area in this forum called 'Recommend A Trauma Physician' that may be able to help you find a T. I do recommend, if you can, finding a psychiatrist, because they are the most qualified to diagnose IMHO.

[DLMURL]https://www.ptsdforum.org/c/forums/recommend-a-trauma-physician.92/[/DLMURL]

It is not unusual to go through a few diagnosis before getting a firm one, or possible co-mobidity outcome. It does take time, it is not an exacting science and it is part of the journey. I personally think that T is about talking about what bothers you...and if that is childhood bullying and mobbing, then that is what you need to talk about.

Be honest about your thoughts, even if it is in the back of your mind and you wouldn't harm yourself, it is important to talk about how this is all making you feel with your T.

I hope life will be much brighter for you soon. Love PS xxoo

 

[Lucycat]

Hi Deb
I have been diagnosed by a psychiatrist with Complex PTSD. However he did say that if I lived in a different place another psychiatrist might have diagnosed Borderline PD instead. They are closely related/ overlap/one-and-the-same depending on who you listen to and what you read.

The main thing though, is not the label, but the therapy/treatment.

I do hope you find the right therapist for you, so you can start working through this and get back on track.
Best wishes
Lucy x

 

[anthony]

I have read that Borderline PD and PTSD have often been confused.

Hi Deb,

In relation to the above statement you made, you read misguided information.

Bipolar is often misdiagnosed when PTSD is actually the correct diagnosis. BPD, that is not even close to the realm of PTSD.

Those with what is called CPTSD, or correctly, complex trauma, will have a dual diagnosis of PTSD + BPD. The BPD is its own diagnosis that supports the specifics outside of PTSD due to the complexities present from longevity of trauma.

I would say you need to trust your psychiatric assessments, however; you did mention residency, so I'm not sure how accurate they would be compared to a well experienced psychiatrist who can spot trauma coming or whether the person is fooling themselves.

Maybe seek out an experienced psychiatrist vs. ones in training. I say that as training psychiatrists may lean more towards the safer side of not diagnosing vs. incorrectly diagnosing you with something they cannot unequivocally be satisfied without doubt.