Most Controversial Post You've Ever Read

[Ipevi]

I really appreciate all the replies. Fortunately me for, my toxic mood has passed and I feel like normal empathetic adult me again. I appreciate having a sounding board to just say the worst things I ever think.
I am very grateful that I don't have to live in that mindset 24/7. I have been able to sort of split that part of me off and I can shut it down for the most part. I have never shared the thoughts from my dark side before so it was very interesting to get all the feedback, compassionate and the not so compassionate. I am very struck by the few replies of people that could relate at all(Froze and Egip, thank you deeply).

 

[Gopac]

Truth is everyone feels their trauma was the worst because it happened to THEM.

No, that's not the truth. Not "everyone" feels this way. I don't.

I'm not so blind as to be unable to see that my trauma could have been more severe or less severe. Most people have emotions intertwined and logical thinking goes out the window. (i.e. Emotions are running the show when it comes to this topic, wise mind has not been mastered.) Someone will always have been traumatized worse than me, and the same goes for less. It's a simple fact.

I think people get emotional because the vast majority of people have been invalidated when it comes to their trauma. I had support from day one of disclosure and people going to battle for me. This is why trauma comparison doesn't bother me. I don't see trauma comparison as invalidation. I've already been validated and that was enough for me.

 

[Ipevi]

No, that's not the truth. Not "everyone" feels this way. I don't.

I'm not so blind as to be unable to see that my trau...

Oddly enough to come from me, the original poster, I agree with you. When I'm feeling like my normal adult self I have no thoughts or feelings about comparing traumas at all. My god, just look at Aleppo right now, there is simply no comparison for me. But yes, when feelings are raw and I get triggered in a very specific way, this feeling of gross injustice takes over me and I have no tolerance for listening to complaining about stories I would much prefer to have. It's a very juvenile part of me that gets overwhelmed with how unfair it all felt and can still feel at times.

 

[Uka]

I have no tolerance for listening to complaining about stories I would much prefer to have. It's a very juvenile part of me that gets overwhelmed with how unfair it all felt and can still feel at times.

I get that way a lot too here in the forums. I feel very annoyed and irritated about "complaints" (for lack of a better word) for what seems to be small things that I'd love to have instead of what I deal with daily. I made a thread about that exact thing when I couldn't get myself out of that mind frame and it was interfering with activity here but normally I take a step away from what caused it (if I know) or take a step awat from everything (a phone game, a hobby, a movie, a good book etc) if I can that takes me away from real life a bit and that mind frame seems to leaves me eventually.

We talk a lot about an "inner child" here a lot. I do not have DID but also have an inner child. My therapist says its haulted emotions so some emotions didn't get to "grow up" as other emotions did so that is why thoughts around that particular subject seem juvenile as they are. Until I can process them and work with them, they stay juvenile for me.

It's huge that you see this about you. It took me years to start to see it and identify it.

 

[Vazom]

No I didn't because that would mean having to associate with her again.
I can see how his life has been destroyed and how...

You do realize not everybody responds to trauma the same, right?

 

[Apa]

Truth is everyone feels their trauma was the worst because it happened to THEM.
And in a way it's true. We can never feel...

I have to disagree. Quite a few don't feel like they are "worthy" of their pain because their trauma wasn't "bad enough"

 

[Aged]

I get that way a lot too here in the forums. I feel very annoyed and irritated about "complaints" (for lack of a better w...

As far as I'm concerned I'm not angry that you think I'm pathetic because I wasn't done the same way as you ( I wasn't done the same way as that girl either but that's not the point) but I am angry that somebody else isn't allowed to be traumatized by something terrible that happened to them because it wasn't bad enough by somebody elses standards. She should just "suck it up buttercup" and that is exactly the kind of stuff that causes people to not report assaults in the first place.

 

[Nikop]

You do realize not everybody responds to trauma the same, right?

But there's no "trauma" in that scenario. Just regretful sex.

 

[Judi]

As far as I'm concerned I'm not angry that you think I'm pathetic because I wasn't done the same way as you ( I wasn't do...

You're arguing unfairly and getting overly emotional IMHO. The person you quoted never said anything about others being pathetic yet you've inserted this word into the conversation. This thread doesn't trigger me but it clearly has emotionally charged you. I'm not sure if you are saying this to be inflammatory or if you are mind reading. You may want to take a step back as skewing the argument based on your perception gets away from what is actually being discussed. IMHO.

 

[Mawo]

You're arguing unfairly and getting overly emotional IMHO. The person you quoted never said anything about others being p...

She didn't use the words but it is implied. The whole "my trauma is worse than yours thing" is exactly why so many people don't want to ask for help

 

[Bijez]

But there's no "trauma" in that scenario. Just regretful sex.

No I didn't because that would mean having to associate with her again.
I can see how his life has been destroyed and how...

You saying " her demeanor didn't change" " she didn't report it"

That is what I was referring to. Everybody responds to trauma different. And unless you were in the room you don't know really what happened either.

 

[Tafa]

Op, I am glad you are feeling better. I understand where you are coming from a little better now. I think the underlying issue is validation. People could have stopped what was happening to you mid act and they choose to ignore it. What makes one person deserving of world wide support while another person has it shoved in their face that no one around them cares?

Perhaps it is easier to say their trauma wasn't bad enough than the guilt of feeling jealous that they were validated and their abuser was met with a semblance of justice?