Movies (or Other Things) That Hit A Trauma Nerve

[shimmerz]

Another posting had me think of this. Thank you @Junebug.

Screams
Years back I watched RoboCop (the original, which really dates me, but whatever - I was young lol). When they were torturing him at the beginning he screamed. Oh my god he screamed. I was riveted yet wanted to run for my life.

My sister saw a spider while I was downstairs in the basement rec. room. She let out one blood curdling scream. I will never forget it. I can pick up and deal with any kind of critter. Spiders. No way.

There was an accident on a highway and they described a girls screams as a car burst into flames. I have never been able to release the picture in my head of the terror of her not being able to escape. Her scream and my vision of her final moments (she did perish), came at me over and over again at the beginning of my trauma. I made the mistake one time of telling someone. He wanted to have me committed.

I had no idea what a role screams would play in this little 'PTSD issue' of mine. Screaming (life or death) was a very large clue. Anyone else have anything like this?

 

[Deleted member 28986]

Django Unchained is what comes to mind. The scenes of helplessness and torture are hard to take. They do horrible things to slaves. I couldn't keep my eyes open. But at the end of the movie there's retribution. My anxiety/distress/arousal afterwards was way too high, even though it was a great piece of cinema.

Two other movies that resonate with me, but aren't as hard for me to watch:

• Good Will Hunting. The protagonist's behavior and social problems really resonate with me. I don't think they would have called it this at the time the movie was made, but you might conclude he suffers from complex PTSD.
• A Clockwork Orange. A cinematic masterpiece, and a very confusing story. Provokes thought on free will and what it means to be human. There's a decent amount of violence, and also rape, but then the perpetrator goes through his own torture as part of "treatment" to cure his violence. It's human conditioning. Movie could definitely be triggering.

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Edit: Seeing parents antagonize their children also hits a real bad trauma nerve.

 

[Tinyflame]

Not sure of the details either @shimmerz but could it be a trigger? Even the scream you might have let out in your head (silently) during a trauma? Perhaps a detail you don't remember right now?

 

[shimmerz]

Not asking about the scream itself @Junebug, but things in movies (as you mentioned in another posting) that we attached to somehow. Knew how it felt perhaps but didn't (or maybe did) know why. I didn't know for decades the significance of 'screams' in my life. Sorry if I wasn't very clear (and maybe am not being again) *heavy sigh* Just one of those days.

 

[Tinyflame]

No that's ok @shimmerz , I'm not running on full cylinders myself today. :rolleyes: :hug:

I think 'hit a nerve' is very true. Do you think it's because we couldn't find the words or courage or safe place to ever say it?

 

[shimmerz]

For myself I think it was because it was buried (my traumas happened at an excessively young age. I wasn't allowed to scream (things were put into my mouth). I feel like the portrayal in movies of screaming with that type of intensity (yes, that I should have been able to express but was forced to internalize), was a clue for me to look back on to help me heal. No idea if this makes sense to anyone else AT ALL. lol. I should sleep.

 

[scout86]

Not a movie, but something you sometimes see in movies or on TV. I can't watch someone getting stabbed. Not even getting am imjection. (Which I happen to have a huge phobia about also.) I can watch someone get shot (thankfully hasn't happened in real life.) Beaten, no problem, Set on fire, No problem. (We're talking in the media here, I suspect and almost hope this would be disturbing in person. Although I'd like to think, and think there's a good chance, my reaction would be to try to help.) Someone, for some reason, sent me a link to a video of people getting hit by cars. Sorry to report I watched the whole thing and found it interesting. Some of that was real, some looked like special effects. I've seen a far amount of blood and gore in real life. Not a problem, in the "I can't look!" sense. I can't stand to watch a stabbing, even when I know it's fake, even if it's superficial. I have NO idea what the reason is.

Is that what you had in mind?

 

[shimmerz]

Yes. Exactly. Ever wonder why just stabbing? I mean, really you describe having a pretty high tolerance for movie death stuff (did that make sense even?) But something about stabbing....

You know, I used to get absolutely freaked about the abominable snowman in Rodolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. My dad gave me crap one time I watched it (the last time I watched it EVER and he died 30 years ago). He said I was too big to be acting scared of it. I was terrified of him! Terrified.

It just occurred to me now - it was his eyes! At the beginning of this PTSD thing, I was terrified of anything but soft eyes. It took me 4 years to get over 'hard' eyes. I guess what I am trying to get at here is that stabbing for whatever reason might be a significant clue for you, as were the screams and the eyes for me. There is a deep down, sick, guttural feeling that was authentic and terrifying that made it impossible to watch those things. In retrospect, they were very definite clues for me.

Sorry I am having such a tough time explaining this one. :confused:

 

[sun seeker]

Any scene where someone is being tortured. I'll fast forward, cover my ears, shut my eyes, leave the room, whatever it takes. I'm not even sure why because that never happened to me (thank God), but I'm just very keenly aware that it's real. Blood, graphic medical scenes, I have no problem with. Watching one person deliberately hurting another with sadistic pleasure I cannot stand. Very particularly, scenes with political prisoners, like in Nazi death camps or in Chile during the coup. It's very, very real to me for some reason. I can't even write some things I'd like to say about this. There's something about that look in someone's eyes when they know they have absolute power and are going to use it to hurt someone more vulnerable... I don't even know what it reminds me of, but it's something I absolutely can't stand watching.

 

[scout86]

Actually, I HAVE wondered "why stabbing?". A lot, since I really started to pay attention to stuff and noticed it so clearly. I mean, I can't watch a commercial from the UN about vaccinating kids. They go at the kid's arm and I can't stop myself from looking away.

I DO have a pretty high tolerance for "movie death stuff". (Maybe high enough that THAT worries me a little too.) I have a pretty high tolerance for that kind of thing in real like too. Now, I can GIVE shots, at least to animals. That was a little hard to learn to do and I have to kind of shift into another gear where I'm "not thinking about what I'm doing" to do it, but I'm quite good at it.

I suspect it does mean something, or come from somewhere, but I don't have a clue what. My first memory of going to a Dr, I was about 5, knew I didn't want to get stabbed, and the SOB lied to me. But, I ALREADY had made up my mind. It didn't start with the lie.

I can understand the eye thing. That "shark eyed" look is dangerous. Or. goes with "dangerous". How about the flying monkeys in the Wizard of Oz? (I always had to get a drink of water out in the kitchen when they showed up.)

Believe it or not, my T & I were talking about this last week. For what I think was a different reason. He was telling me about a scene in a Disney/Robin Williams movie (can't remember the movie & I'd never seen it) where the animated characters appear to be coming out of the screen. The first time he watched it with his kids, he suddenly realized his youngest son was missing. That was because he was hiding behind the couch! (So, maybe at least some of this is somewhat "normal" because I'm pretty sure my T's son is ok.)

 

[shimmerz]

Yes, kids I can see as reacting. To them there may be a lesser line between tv and reality. But as a grown adult? One who is several (or more) decades old?

 

[scout86]

True. (And I'll bet his son can watch that now and thinks it's funny he freaked out.

I have actually managed to stay in the room and watch the flying monkeys too. But they and their wicked witch, oddly, still bother me. Again, no idea why.