Death Multiple Deaths

[Alibongo]

So this has been the roughest few weeks I think I've ever experienced. My friend lost her baby and a colleague died, and today my friend died after battling cancer for the last 2 years. Although we thought she would make it till Christmas. I'm starting to think that it's me-that the people around me are suffering because of me. Because I survived this is a kind of punishment or am I going crazy?

 

[Silver.]

People are not suffering or dying because of you, I promise. It is definitely not a punishment for you either.
I have had years where I have lost so many people. Seven in 1996 alone. It is heartbreaking, devastating and it makes you feel as if you have no control over any aspects in your life. But this is not on you, this isn't because of you, if anything, just count yourself blessed to have had time with such good people in your life, that their deaths have left you with such a sense of loss because you had that connection. Find the blessings in that you are a survivor and are here to battle your way through this illness x
*sending you strength to heal and cope*

 

[sunandstars]

I can certainly relate to how you feel but I promise you too like silver already said that it's not your fault.

I have lost a lot of family/relations this past year and I did think a number of times 'was it my fault' but I know now it wasn't,people get sick and people eventually go to heaven some people go when they are young some people when they are old we are all not going to be here forever.You should cherish the memories the happy memories you have of those people and know that you will see them again one day.

I have been very sick before,resuscitated a number of times and I think sometimes why did I survive and why did the girl or boy in the bed beside me die.One time when I was very sick my grandad became unwell at that time also I didn't know as I was in a coma,I was resuscitated that time too and put asleep and I survived and got better but grandad went to heaven.When they woke me up from induced coma I knew my grandad was in Heaven and that he was happy but I did think that it was my fault for ages that my grandad got sick and went to heaven instead of me but I know now that it's not and he is in heaven now not sick anymore and watching down on me and trying to help me get through this PTSD!!

I know that you will miss these people now that they are gone but please know that you will see them again one day and again it's not your fault.Everyone in the whole entire world has some sort of pain and suffering for some reason or another,if we go around blaming ourselves for causing each other's pain etc I think we,the world everyone would go crazy.It's not your fault I promise,it's just life.Theres pain there's suffering there's good times and bad there's lessons to be learned etc everything happens for a reason the things you go through in life will make you a better and stronger person in the end I just know it.

Feel better soon.

 

[Alibongo]

Thank you both and I am sorry for all your losses xx