My Abuse Wasn't Bad Enough

[Lucycat]

Early on in my therapy I told my T that my abuse was 'not that bad', and went on to tell him about all the things that were much worse that did not happen - but could have - and then I would have been justified for getting sick ( well, in my thoughts anyway)

He explained that many of try to minimise what happened. It is a sort of protective mechanism against wanting to think badly of ourselves and the shame associated with it.

Megnut, you are certainly NOT alone with this.

I now know that no matter what did or did not happen to me, I have every right to feel bad about it. I also have to remember that I have every right to make a 180 degree turn and actually heal.

That is such a fantastically positive statement. Well done!

Regards
Lucy x

 

[Sun_Ray]

I found the right site, finally, after so long looking for help. I can't believe so many feel like I do...that it wasn't that bad compared to what happens to others. I'm 48 and still "healing." PTSD's gotten worse with recent events. Reading Pi314's sentence: "because of this I feel like I did something wrong, like I didn't get abused properly and now I need to be abused really badly in order to justify any impact it has had on my life."

I have been sabotaging myself most of my life, I'm doing exactly what you're referring to. I have the knowledge that it's not my fault, but how do I get this to the abused little girl? She doesn't want to let go, she doesn't want to listen to it and believe abuse is abuse and that it was never her fault. I'm going to post an "My story" in a few...