My Boyfriend Has Pstd I Dont Know What To Do.......

[chiquitabanana]

I been with my boyfriend for 7 month we were doing wonderful. Then he offer to help me move, the stress got to him. Everything went wrong that day.

I had to work. Then he stopped calling me saying he cant handle the stress no more. I finally heard from him on Sunday. I went to his house, I can tell he wasn't him self. Then he stop calling and text me. I have not heard from him all the day. I just ask him to tell me if we ok. I haven't heard anything at all. This is killing me.

What this man go through 14 years in the army done some much to him... I been very patient with him. I just know what to do any more...

 

[saffy]

Hi chiquitabanana,

Sometimes you just need to wait. Let him know you are there if he wants or needs to talk. You do have the right for an explaination at least so you know where you stand and I am sure when He is ready he will talk to you. Has he definately been diagnosed with PTSD? your post was a bit vague, sorry.

There are good supporters threads on this forum so looking through those posts might give you better understanding of what to do next.

Moving is stressful for anyone, try find out what he is stressed about exactely, is it the distance? the new area? moving in together? did something happen that day you haven't thought of that might have really triggered something?



I hope this helped a bit.

best wishes
Saffy :)

 

[Paris lacey]

Hello chiquitabanana,
I'm in the same situation my partner was in the army for 16 years and we've been together 8 months. He's ignoring me after I gave him a bit of space he is still a bit distant but he isn't ignoring me now. How is you situation now Hun?

It's hard being in this situation as you feel hopeless and don't know what to do or who to turn to. But keep your head high and if its worth hanging onto just let him know that your there for him

Good luck darling x

 

[westerncgal]

Hi Chiquitabanana,

I am new to the site as well. I understand where you are coming from. While it's not my boyfriend that brought me here he is my best friend and I care deeply for him as he has told me he cares for me deeply also.

My friend is an Army vet with PTSD and a TBI which I have found makes things interesting sometimes. We grew up together and have just over the last 6 month reconnected. 2 weeks ago was the first time I had experienced him ignoring me. And I say that with a grain of salt. We had plans to go out one night and I didn't hear from him for 4 days.

After reading some posts on here I decided the best thing I could do was give him the space he needed and let him know I was thinking of him and if he needed me I was right there. When he contacted me again I found out he wasn't ignoring me but that his retreating to himself is the only way he has to process his severe stress.

Keep faith and patients it's a learning process on both ends. Keeping up with this forum can be an amazing tool to help you learn and understand .

 

[Mi Hiro]

Hi Chiquitabanana,

I have done that to many of my relationships that I stop having them. I only been out for 1 1/2 years and I been in and out of relationships. One moment I am Ok then I am not. The hardest part is you have to give him space but not too much where he doesn't feel the support. Just don't be pushy where he completely close in. Most of the time we shut everything off around us cause we are comfortable alone and able to sort things out. Also we don't want to hurt other that are close to us. The effect of PTSD is felt by one's who are closest to us. I had anger outburst for no reason. Nightmare and depression out of the blue and just started crying. Most of the time I shut off and stop talking to people cause i want to protect them from me or embarrass of the situation. I have franticly rip my apartment apart thinking there was a dead body some where, I swear I could smell it. But it all in my head, everyone is wired differently. I hope my input give you an insite to what might be going on.

I am new to this site as of 10 min ago. I am right about to start my 6th different medication and looking up the effect and how it will help.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

@westerncgal and @Mi Hiro Just pointing out how old this thread is (2 years) and how long it's been since the original poster has been online. I suggest starting a new thread.

 

[Broken52]

@chiquitabanana

I am going thru the exact same thing with mine but he broke it off with me and just a couple of days ago lashed out on me for no reason! I love and care for him very much!!

 

[Broken52]

@Mi Hiro

Mine had an outburst the other night and said mean hurtful things to me! We've been broke up I've tried to call ignores my calls and he would txt sometimes but since that happened the other night I have left him alone.. He knows how I feel about him and he has even ask about me!!

 

[Desy_d]

Hello, not really what to even say. I never really told anyone how my relationship has been. I tell everyone it's going great but behind closed doors he can be 2 different people. I have been with my boyfriend since February of 2012. Has been off and on but we never lost contact and now we live together. He was a marine and has been out for almost a year now. When he gets upset he will yell like you wouldn't believe.. He thinks he's not yelling and he thinks its all okay. One day I decided to walk away because the yelling started scaring me so I locked myself in the bathroom but he tried coming in.. punishing the door. trying to break the door knob. After he cooled down i open the door and told him we were done and he went his separate way for about a week and we began talking again. he promised he would get help.

He has never layer a hand on me but sometimes when he is angry I feel like one day he will. We can have the the dumbest fights (like me saying i don't know what to watch on tv) and he can explode out of nowhere. At first I thought it might be me, maybe I shouldn't say anything that may provoke him. I stopped sharing opinions, thoughts, feelings. I say to myself its because I don't want to argue but I feel like I'm not myself anymore. Don't get me wrong, I was never the type of person to take anyone yelling at me, especially a boyfriend. I was an independent happy person who would stick up for herself and now I'm too tired to say anything.
I just let him vent and he will end up punching a wall if I feel like arguing back.

Its not like it happens everyday or anything, he is a great guy when he isn't in a bad mood or he has a marijuana for the morning.

I need help for knowing what to say or so when he gets like this. Idk if I can see a future anymore but I truly still love this guy and I feel so lost. I dont know how to help anymore.

sorry .. very long .. haha never wrote or even been on this kind of site. not too sure if its what I'm supped to write.

 

[saoirserylyn]

I'm a sufferer myself and can say that I know I've put my boyfriend through hell. He has even called me abusive.

Everyone is different. I've met other with ptsd that just want to be left alone. I'm not like that, I like having someone hold me and calm my fears. I act out because I'm afraid of something. Even worries of not responding to someone correctly can send me off the handle.

I really wish you the best. It sounds like you've dedicated a lot to this man and have put up with a lot. Just remember that no matter how badly a sufferer is hurting, they are still capable of giving you an apology. They can hurt you, physically and emotionally, so look out for yourself first.