My First Time - Iraq Veteran

[longshot1997]

I really want to thank all of you. Pat thanks for the book tip I will check that out.Marcy Thanks for all the advice will surly be using some of it I really don't tell them about the war mostly because its too hard to talk about I can't even watch the news because it just sends me into depresion and fits of anger.I don't want anyone to think that my anger gets out of control. I always walk away I have never and will never hit my wife or kids. The hard thing is trying to keep from hurting there feelings I can say some hurtful things any idea how I can stop this?

 

[patrick]

Hi Longshot,

It's good to see you back. The depression and anger I can definitely relate with. I wish I knew more about how to stop saying hurtful things. I'm still trying to learn about that myself. Have you checked to see what kind of help you might be eligible for from the VA. I'm getting some free help there, and it is making a difference for me. There are some idiots there, but there are also some folks who really seem to care and want to help. Your wife and kids are lucky to have a man like you in their lives.

Pat

 

[missy8888]

Longshot

I think almost everyone is guilty of saying hurtful things when they are upset. Most people when caught in the moment find that the mouth has a mind of it's own.

"think before you speak" .....is easier said than done. (i can't even do that sometimes...)

So i guess my advice would be just to appologize if you have a slip of the tongue. Tell them you are sorry and that you didn't mean what you said.. I wish i had a more stellar answer than that.

The fact that you are so concerned for your family shows how much you really love them. I wish you luck. :Hug_emoticon:

Missy

 

[satara]

Hi
like I said in my intro my last injury was in Sudan and my partner is an Iraq vet.
Missy its good to know partners are here too.
I love this man very much and we want to be together but the ptsd has really mucked us up.
Good to know we are not alone.

Thank you
Satara

 

[ptsda]

PTSD for Dummies is great book

Pat and all,

This book is more complete and more helpful than most of us believe -- despite the title. That along with the Nat Ctr for PTSD, you have all that matters for medical info. Finding local peer support is harder but worth the effort to talk with those who have been there and done that OR who are willing to listen and make no judgements.

Steve "K"
PTSDA

 

[Seabeevet]

I really want to thank all of you. Pat thanks for the book tip I will check that out.Marcy Thanks for all the advice will surly be using some of it I really don't tell them about the war mostly because its too hard to talk about I can't even watch the news because it just sends me into depresion and fits of anger.I don't want anyone to think that my anger gets out of control. I always walk away I have never and will never hit my wife or kids. The hard thing is trying to keep from hurting there feelings I can say some hurtful things any idea how I can stop this?

Hay longshot. take it from me (or not) :doh:
I delt with my ptsd for 15 years now I have a list of things that i did not understand was eating at me. I lost my first wife due to hateful things out of my mouth. Go to the VA. Don't be afraid to get meds. It does not make you weak. This is not something your trained for. I took the meds after 14 years and 6 months. My life is so much better. I feel almost normal. If i had to do it all over again I would have got help much faster. It is not a cure but it gives you the edge to work through it with out as much emotion. You ( or I ) think so much clearer.

 

[longshot1997]

I really want to thank all of you for your support. Sorry I haven't been in for awile be busy with work and kids b-day and a lot of snow but I will be posting my story soon and I really would like all of you to help where ever you can. Thanks again

 

[patrick]

So glad to see you back, and definitely looking forward to hearing your story. Hope all is as well as it can be for you.

Pat

 

[longshot1997]

Idon't know what to do feel like I'm trying to the right things but then my wife and I have a fight and all I want to do is yell at her and I know that if I do its jus going to make the situation worse but I don't care. It doesn't help that she is 16 weeks preg. I lost and don't know what to do. HELP

 

[patrick]

Are you getting help anywhere, professional or otherwise? Is there anybody you know who you can talk to who might understand what you're going through? Are you seeing a counselor or therapist? You need to get some support somewhere, and get it soon. I'm pretty sure you do care if you make the situation worse or you wouldn't be here asking for help. Go to the VA or an employee assistance program at work, or the community mental health center. In the meantime, when you feel like yelling at your wife so much that you don't care if it makes things worse, walk out. Cool down a little, and think about the things that got you together with her in the first place.

Most importantly - get help where you live. You need somebody you can talk with face to face. It's not too late to make things right. Oh, and come back here a little sooner than you have been to let us know what's going on. I care, and I want things to be better for you. Hang in there.

Pat

 

[Spoo]

Hi longshot,

I am an Iraq veteran as well, weclome to the forums. You will definitely find this site to be extremely informative, I have only joined maybe a week ago and already it has given me quite an amount of insight.

 

[SofieJ]

Hi there,

Well, as a partner of an ex-soldier with PTSD I get shouted at a lot, and apart from the advice that you've been given already - walk away and calm down (which I realise must be very difficult - my partner never manages to do that) - I can tell you that an apology is always a nice thing. Saying sorry once you've calmed down is not going to mend the damage but it does make things feel slightly better.