My Health Issue Is Real, Your Cptsd Is Fake

[Mari]

I imagine there is more than one of us on this board who have friends or family who don't believe their cptsd is real. This was brought home to me again today and I feel sad and angry and invalidated and isolated once again. If you are comfortable, could I get some words of support today? I could really use them.

In response to my diagnosis, my family engaged in scapegoating, gaslighting, bullying and emotional abuse. I have had my character, intelligence, judgement, and mental health called into question. I was told that I therapist shopped until I found someone who told me what I wanted to hear. I have been told that my thinking is distorted. Ultimately, my family met in secret with a therapist at the insistence of my personality disordered sister in order to get a "diagnosis" to justify calling the authorities on me. I was told that my family had to lie to me because I'm impossible to talk to.

Bwuh??

In reality, when this all started years ago I began having what I now know are the symptoms of cptsd. I went to a trauma specialist at the recommendation of my therapist and was diagnosed by a competent, trained, experienced, and licensed professional.

I am now no contact with most of my family. Today I got an email from one of my sisters letting me know that she is having a gynecological issue that may be familial/genetic and she was forwarding to me the emails she sent about her diagnosis to the rest of my family so that I would have the medical history even though we "have difficulties in our relationships".

I read this email and I think to myself, "How easy this is for you. You have a health issue and you are simply believed. Look how your credibility is just assumed."

I so wish I could respond to her and say, "You know what? I think you should use this experience as a thought experiment. Consider all the assumptions you so easily made about yourself and our family and how all you have to do is click send and that's that. Ponder why it is that your health issue is real and mine is not even though you and I had the same experience: Symptoms -> specialist -> diagnosis."

There is no upside down world for them. In their world people don't get threatened with having the cops called because they're having heavy periods.

 

[Kintsugi]

It took a really long time for family members to believe my diagnosis. Sometimes I feel like they still think it's not real. However, I got PTSD by being abused by a family member, so I typically explain their denial that way. They can have their heads in the sand... I know my truth, and I no longer acquiesce to theirs in order to avoid making them feel uncomfortable.

 

[Deleted member 487]

Are these people doctors or have any current & legitimate certification in rehabilitative health? If no, then to hell with them. They ain't doctors, they ain't skilled, and they ain't squat. Who are they to judge?

 

[gealach]

WE believe you, and support you. :hug:

 

[Snowflakes]

@Mari I have been no contact for most of my family for years and NOTHING they do or say will ever change that. I support your decision.

And I am in complete agreement with @brokenEMT WE believe you and support you :hug:

 

[Mari]

It's been a tough week for me in regards to my family. My niece had an event I wanted to go to because I want to stay in the kids' lives if I can and I like my SIL, but even something like that is triggering because it puts me in a place of thinking about them and having to be prepared emotionally to go to a middle school musical. I never would have thought my life would be like this. My nephew also has a baby shower this weekend which I can't attend because of the no contact, and I like my nephew and his wife. They just go on with their lives and mine has become even more complicated because if I have anything to do with them I will have panic attacks and nightmares.

I think ultimately I'm going to have to move away and then this all stops being an issue.

 

[Freedomfighter]

I imagine there is more than one of us on this board who have friends or family who don't believe their cp...

There is a huge stigma attached to mental conditions. A patient of course has absolutely no control over that but is judged for it regardless.

I got PTSD from being stalked and you would not believe all of the horrible lies I have to listen to about this condition, often from complete strangers, who will viciously assault me with the assaults being tailored towards my PTSD symptoms.

When someone abuses you they are an abuser. If that was a family member they switched sides and just turned into another abuser.

Victims have to be able to separate themselves from that. Incredibly difficult, but necessary.

 

[Journeyman]

I imagine there is more than one of us on this board who have friends or family who don't believe their cp...

Well, I like your last statement, it's funny. It's OK if we are crazy, as long as it's PMS, but OH MY God, if it's cptsd that's just not acceptable:) I understand you are angry, frustrated, and disappointed, but remember; even clinicians aren't accepting trauma as the root problem, staying most often with the medical model, you know? If you have youtube, check out some videos from Bessel Van Der Kolk. There is one; he speaking on his feelings on "Borderline Personality disorder", which is so often diagnosed. As late as almost before 1980, it was a common belief that only one in a million women have ever been molested by a family member, and if so, it was benign, or actually helped the relationship.

in the first part of my reply, "it's humorous, I meant for another post, and I accidently sent it to you. I was asking you, do you think the anxiety is mostly with your family, or most people, and if they were strangers, would it be better?

 

[Changing4Best]

My sister recalls nothing concerning our grandfather to make her believe that he sexually molested her. She has no memories of it. She does not disbelieve me about it, but she remembers nothing of the sort in her own history. I buried my memories of it until I was in my mid 30s, when it came out in therapy. It is my belief that she still is burying her memories of it, but we don't discuss it.

My sister's daughter is convinced that her mother "shows signs of having been sexually abused." So my niece believes me. No questions asked. She was gang raped during her teens, so she is PTSD also. So she understands.

I had a boyfriend once who thought I faked my Social Security Disability case. (SSDI is funds from the government for disabled people). My Dr.s and Therapist all contributed their analyses of my case to Social Security's agreeing that I am disabled and unable to work. However, this boyfriend, who is no longer my boyfriend, was certain that I was faking my case. He, on the other hand had some major health concerns that were very "real" even though they were caused by his alcoholism. His liver was in trouble, as were other parts of his body. These were things that greatly concerned him, but they did not stop his substance abuse, he just switched over to another drug, so as to save his liver.

Yup. Been there. Done that. Left it behind in the dust. I don't blame you for disconnecting from your family. They sound rather toxic, as was my now former boyfriend.

 

[Gamergirldelux]

I believe you and as long as you believe yourself that's all that matters

As much as it hurts when your family doesn't believe you. I'm in a similar boat. They aren't really family anymore..... Family supports and loves and believes no matter what. That isn't family. I believe in choosing my family. And I pick my boyfriend and his family.

 

[VICTORIA WILLIS]

I imagine there is more than one of us on this board who have friends or family who don't believe their cp...

You sound so upset; frustrated and anxious.
You're family and some friends really hook you!
Apparently, your family gave you a wealth of information as to who they are and what they think..( i.e.; they have to lie to you). That's their perception, it's what they think. The responsibility to their perception rides solely on their shoulders! You keep buying into their perceptions, you don't have to agree with them and they font have to believe that PTSD is real.
I know it hurts and they're support would mean the world to you, although you may never get it from them. When I accept the way things are, stop wishing it would be different, I am no longer feel hurt.
With acceptance I'm resigned to letting go of my expectations.
The people who hurt me didn't change, thought it was me, then I began taking it in until I was filled with self-doubt leading to self -incrimination.
It's best to no longer talk about your health issues.
In their way, they are telling you that they aren't going to believe you. Also, that they feel the need to lie to you. So how can you trust them? You can't.
They set that up, not you. Keep focusing on yourself. You need the time and space to heal. Read lots of books!
And don't tell your family that you're backing off to take care of you, that would give them more "food for fodder" and theyd uae it to criticize you or make you doubt your decision. Just do it.
Pull back, get into something that you like to do. Crafts? Art? Gardening?
You need the time to cook down, drama free so you can focus on yourself.
Sometimes we create or let ourselves get sucked into, drama so much in our lives!
You want the change. Not being trapped.
I don't get the "heavy period" stuff.
Take it easy!