My Horrible Neighbours

[Julia_]

It seems so fitting with my luck that, after 10 years of constant, extreme domestic violence and verbal abuse, followed by 10 years of more verbal abuse, a nervous breakdown and a lengthy legal battle... that I would flee 3000kms across the country and just *happen* to buy a house next door to a family that screams and shouts constantly.

I still have to deal with my abuser frequently and I often fight with my family so when I finally got to buy a house (after living in 24 different houses in my 21 short years) it just doesn't seem fair that it would be semi-detached (shares an internal wall) and my neighbours have the same rip-roaring screaming matches and "thudding" sounds at night that instantly take me back to my childhood. Straight away I feel my heart rate increase, my breathing quicken and become shallow, my stomach knots, I want to throw up and my cheeks get flushed and hot.

Moving for me isn't even remotely an option right now and the neighbours aren't the kind I want to aggravate by asking them to shut up....

I guess I just feel like it's some cosmic joke that I happen to have ended up trapped, living next door to a mirror of my traumatising childhood... :wall:

 

[blackdove]

Be strong Julia! Yes that really sucks. The only suggestion I have is that you go over there with a pie or muffins and welcome them to the neighbourhood and then starting crying your eyes out -- you might guilt them into getting along!

 

[shadow-light]

Maybe you could report them for noise pollution or something? I'm not sure.


I do agree it seems unfair. Maybe as has been suggested you could try to befriend them, maybe if they have a "friend" next door they will be a little more cautious of their yelling, etc.

 

[Petchen]

Oh no!!!!!!

My BF has a shared wall.....the bedroom. It took months before I realized why I was waking up at night at 12-1-2.

Major Major Major exacerbation. :-(

I went over there at 2 am once and the ding bat lied and said he was asleep.

I called the police once...a night when the music blaring out of their house at 1 or 2...they got a right good talking too.

They are so much more quite.

Police told me to log everything.
Record everything.
Every instance
They have new ordinances.
Right to peace and quiet or something like that
You might tape them and leave it anonymously for them. They might be oblivious to their heinousness. Even still....what gives with people who act like that...blaaa

Can you play music to drown them out?
Poor thing...yuck! I am so sorry. The BF's neighbors make my skin crawl and my chest get oogie.

I so feel you on the thudding...10 on my ricther scale...

Also... if it all possible...they make some really incredible foam. it's varies in thickness. it could be easily tacked on the wall that is the worst, say your bedroom and covered by curtains along the length of the wall. I did this for windows. Worked really well.

 

[Julia_]

Thanks for all your suggestions and things...

I have to say though, I still really don't want to antagonise them in any way (police, going over and telling them to stfu etc) - they're all slightly unhinged and the father is huge and slightly brain damaged and clearly prone to violent outbursts.

I know this is completely judgmental and elitist - but I live in really good, expensive area, paid a fortune for this house but I wasn't told when I bought it that the adjoining house was one of the last state-funding low cost housing houses in the street. The neighbours I have are 'trailer trash' types in the most clichéd way.

Just last night I could hear the father throwing the mother or one of the teenage girls against walls - I know exactly what that sounds like, I saw and heard it constantly growing up and especially considering I know how big he is, I absolutely WILL NOT say or do anything to provoke some kind of neighbour war....

I just needed to vent somewhere. Thanks for understanding though, you guys.

 

[pandora]

What if you make an anonamous call to the police department. Take your cell..go for a drive or call from a friends house. That way there will be no repercussions for you and they might get the hint. I do not know how realistic this is for you but it might be worth a try, especially if the woman are being abused and thrown around. Just a thought. I know what it is like to live with neighbors that make you feel less than comfortable in your own home. I just put an offer in on a house and my hell will be over and when I move I am only going to say hello and that is it!!!

 

[Ursa]

Some time ago I heard a case about somebody that had noisy neighbors and decided to suit them.

The case became famous because she alleged that they were torturing her by causing lack of sleep. She won the suit.

 

[pandora]

That is neat. I wonder how much it costs in lawyer fees and if it was worth it..brave person. Honestly....what about the anonamous route!

 

[shadow-light]

I agree with the anonymous call idea. You don't even have to mention the noise, so that way they will have no idea that you live next door. You could just say suspected domestic abuse or something, if you say the "abuse" word they pretty much have to follow it up.

 

[critters]

I've always heard that you catch more flies with honey than vinegar. Which really is a stupid saying because who wants to catch flies anyway, I just want them dead and to stop bugging me.

Anyway, I do think taking the nice, polite approach should be your first option along with baking them some muffins like blackdove suggested, and if that doesn't work then start calling the police.

If that doesn't work you can PM me and I have some nasty games you can play on them and they would never know it was you. J/K but it felt good to just write it down (like letting the air out of their tires and childish crap like that) to get it off my chest because I have inconsiderate neighbors whose driveway is 10 feet away from my bedroom window.

Every weekend at 3:00 am I hear a loud bomb bomb bomb from the car stereo base that is blasted up to the point I can literally feel my bed shake. It causes me to wake in a panic almost every time.

One night I went outside to say something but she went in her house when she seen me and as a result, the next week she made it a point to be extra noisy and more annoying than usual with her beer runs in the middle of the night and I didn't even get to say a word to her when I went outside.

Some people will just try harder to upset you if you confront them, so I think being nice to them would be the best approach to start off with.

Good Luck
critters

 

[Marine0311]

What are you waiting for?

Your neighbors are comitting a crime. Someone or many are being abused in that house. Not reporting this to the Authorities is a crime in itself. You may save some lives or someone from being abused. Neighbors need to help eachother out. Thats what is wrong with this country, no one does anything. Look the other way or just don't care...

 

[Julia_]

Marine... while I respect your opinion and your right to voice that opinion I'd like to point out a couple of things.
Firstly, from your spelling I'm going to assume that "this country" is not MY country. I'm Australian and I'm guessing you're American so, quite frankly, I'm not going to pay any attention to that comment.
Secondly and more importantly... this post was listed as a vent. I've made it clear in my previous posts that the reason I haven't contacted authorities is because a) I'm genuinely fearful of retaliation and b) this is DIRECTLY related to my traumatic experiences and is very triggering so I absolutely cannot get involved.
Having said that, I realise that one or more of my neighbours may be getting hurt however, *I* cannot be held responsible or ACCOUNTABLE for that and I think it's really quite unfair of you to accuse ME of committing a crime for not getting involved.

This forum is full of people whose lives have been ravaged by trauma in some way or another. They come here for support, understanding, information, solidarity.... they don't come here to be criticised or berated. Perhaps, in future, you could dial down your righteous indignation and consider how your words might affect someone.