Oh all of you responding to this and the original poster....I give so many hugs and loving thoughts. This is my MAJOR trigger, and even reading the posts is triggering me. I'm only skimming them at this point, because I was stable in this regard through good fortune and the love of God, but my situation is changing and the potential for these triggers to erupt is returning. I recently started another thread in the living with triggers category because, for me, having crappy neighbors means I'm living with my triggers all around me and there is just no escape. I'm utterly and totally locked in my current situation, and I've made so many desperate, futile attempts to make positive change...but to no avail. I feel like only a limited amount of progress on my PTSD will ever be possible so long as I'm forced to live with my triggers right in my face. In my post, I said that I felt like most people would shrug off what I felt triggered me the most...but now I'm seeing how many others in this community are wrestling with this very same struggle. The example of all of you doing your best to get through it gives me hope and inspiration. I'll try to give some of that back.
For me, this trigger also works on me at a deeper level because it introduces the concept of futility for me. I've been strong enough to overcome so much in my life...and I take great personal pride in being able to conquer my own personal weakness because its been necessary for me to do so to support others. But, this issue of neighbors is UTTERLY undoing me. As the original, and other, posters have mentioned, my property is constantly being trespassed on. People park in my drive way...once they hit my brand new sports car trying to squeeze into my space. It's clearly private, with signage, landscaping, wrought iron stair railings...you name it. But, they do it anyways. The conflict that this situation presents stays with me for SO long and recovery is an enormous battle. Then there's the loud music from the neighbors, the sex and drug fueled parties with used condoms and paraphrenalia displayed on the streets for the kids to see....oh god, even though it ended three years ago, all the events are right there in my mind as if they happened yesterday. It's as if the three years of peace that I've just had actually never happened. I am so locked in this situation physically that, PTSD aside, I feel burdened by this enormous sense of futility, rendered worse because my family LOVES it here! I'm the only one who dislikes it, so it's a lonely struggle as well.
I've learned through these triggers that I have major boundary control issues....the violation of boundaries is what started the PTSD, so that makes sense. I'm trying in therapy to address the root causes, but even addressing the root causes has somehow not transferred over to this particular trigger.
I'm wandering at this point, so will just sign off leaving my HEARTFELT sympathies with everyone.
